The Twilight Phenomon and why it reminds me of eating straightsugar. by Blueberry Poptart

March 26, 2010
BlueberryPoptartHasAnAmazinglyLongScreenname BRONZE, Some Town, New York
4 articles 1 photo 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Oh. You can't help that we're all mad here." - The Cheshire Cat, Alice in Wonderland

"The trouble is, the other side can do magic too, Prime Minister."- Cornelius Fudge, Harry Potter


"I am a wizard, not a baboon brandishing a stick."


One upon a time their was a girl. She doesn't think she's particularly smart. Or pretty. Or talented. Or kind. She's avarage in every possible way. If this was real life this girl would go to a fairly good college, get a fairly good job, and live fairly happily after. But it's not. This is the universe where vampires don't suck blood, or do anything vaguely interesting. Bella Swan is the above girl, who would live a fairly boring fairy tale if this was real life. But who wants to read about Bella becoming a soccer mum who tweets about nothing? Not this generation. Your avarage girl picks up this book. Bella doesn't need to have a soul, she doesn't need to have any dreams, or ideas, or things she loves above all else. Because Bella has about as much personality as a cardboard box (no offense cardboard boxes of the world.)Bella gets swept off her feet by Edward, who apparently has enough soul for both of them. To me, reading about Edward Cullen is the literary equivalent of sitting down and eating a bag of sugar straight. So sweet it's disgusting, trust me I know how it feels to eat a bag of sugar. So Edward sweeps Bella right of her feet and Bella loses all remnants of being a real person. With Edward she's whole. I think this relation is bound to fail, their seventeen right? There going to break up after three months and have an angry facebook fight, then settle on just being friends. Of course not, cuz it's twooo luv11111! Bella continues to tell us how amazing Edward is. He sounds like her father. Bella's not allowed to do this, or that or have any fun at all. Poor Bella. She should dump Edward and buy a nice cat. But she won't because she luffs her Eddie fureva!!!1 I have something to tell all of you who say you can relate to Bella, there are no Edwards to save you, Prince Charming is a lie. Nobody's going to save you, and even if you had an Edward, you'd get over it and not want to be saved from every little danger. Be the hero of your own story, damsels in distress never have any fun.

The author's comments:
Hi! Thanks so much for reading. This is all my opinion, and I'm not trying to offend anyone, even though we both know someones going to be offended. Thanks again!

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This article has 11 comments.


Aria12 BRONZE said...
on Aug. 14 2012 at 4:36 pm
Aria12 BRONZE, London, Other
2 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
“With great power... comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.”
― Rick Riordan, The Last Olympian

This describes the books in a nustshell. I completely agree.  Very funny . Onhe of the best reviews dissing twilight I've read

on Mar. 9 2012 at 8:00 am
BlueberryPoptartHasAnAmazinglyLongScreenname BRONZE, Some Town, New York
4 articles 1 photo 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Oh. You can't help that we're all mad here." - The Cheshire Cat, Alice in Wonderland

"The trouble is, the other side can do magic too, Prime Minister."- Cornelius Fudge, Harry Potter


"I am a wizard, not a baboon brandishing a stick."

Wow. I can't get over the fact I still recieve emails about this article almost three years later :) It sounds crazy but whenever I get a rating, I get so happy that someone even bothered reading it and awh guys thank you ALL so much <3 I apologize that my previous self had such a poor grasp of grammar/spelling, I PROMISE I KNOW HOW TO USE THE RIGHT 'THERE/THEIR/THEY'RE' NOW, DON'T JUDGE MY PREVIOUS IGNORANCE D; but basically I just wanted to thank everyone for their support and interest it just makes me happy, so thank you everyone who has ever read or rated this article, it makes my pathetic day slightly less pathetic ^^

on May. 6 2011 at 4:47 pm
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks."

"Not all those who wander are lost" --JRR Tolkien

"When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears." --Jose' Bergamin

Hilairious I love Twilight but I  also like to make fun of it (is that weird?) actually Bella has LESS personality than a cardboard box. I love this writing!!!:))

on Dec. 25 2010 at 7:18 pm
BlueberryPoptartHasAnAmazinglyLongScreenname BRONZE, Some Town, New York
4 articles 1 photo 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Oh. You can't help that we're all mad here." - The Cheshire Cat, Alice in Wonderland

"The trouble is, the other side can do magic too, Prime Minister."- Cornelius Fudge, Harry Potter


"I am a wizard, not a baboon brandishing a stick."

Oh, I'm glad you enjoyed it :3 Being a fan of Twilight isn't a sin, it's just slightly discouraging to me when people are sure it's going to happen for them, but as long as it's a fictional love, not an ideal for your own life, maybe series like this can be a good outlet for feelings we all have. Thanks for the compliments and stuff, you rock :]

rplove013 said...
on Dec. 25 2010 at 6:58 pm
rplove013, Burlington, North Carolina
0 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

I liked the twilight books, the story line...im not like a super crazy fan... but i did enjoy the books and the movies,, and i think robert pattinson and taylor lautner are both hot...but this really made me laugh...i hope it was supposed to..lol..you had some good points...even though i am a fan and this may seem odd... that was well written.. :)

on Apr. 14 2010 at 2:08 pm
Thank you for pointing out that fact. I hate Twilight. The books arent that badly written, but its just soooo stupid! I read the first book, and had enough after that.

on Apr. 10 2010 at 3:12 pm
BlueberryPoptartHasAnAmazinglyLongScreenname BRONZE, Some Town, New York
4 articles 1 photo 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Oh. You can't help that we're all mad here." - The Cheshire Cat, Alice in Wonderland

"The trouble is, the other side can do magic too, Prime Minister."- Cornelius Fudge, Harry Potter


"I am a wizard, not a baboon brandishing a stick."

Woah! You people liked this? Yea! I thought everyone would be like flaming me. Twilight induces ranting for me, sorry. xD And it's supposed to be straight sugar with a space. Thanks so much guys ily.

on Apr. 5 2010 at 10:02 pm
Mr_Anonymous SILVER, Ripon, California
5 articles 2 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"...There's no defense
except all the errors
made..."

-Excerpt from "Claws of Paradise" - C. Bukowski

PS:  I love your screen name and your long title

on Apr. 5 2010 at 10:00 pm
Mr_Anonymous SILVER, Ripon, California
5 articles 2 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"...There's no defense
except all the errors
made..."

-Excerpt from "Claws of Paradise" - C. Bukowski

**Constructive Critisism here, I'm not trying to be overly mean, just pointing out things you could improve on**

I loved it, up until about halfway through...  No, its not about my views on twighlight or love.  Your writing is witty and intelligent, but about halfway through (Right about the bag of sugar metaphor, maybe just afterward) your well written piece turns into a rant, which put me off.  I felt you started rambling on and repeating the same basic message over a few times.


bripello said...
on Apr. 3 2010 at 10:10 am
bripello, WIlbraham, Massachusetts
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
Glad somebody finally agress with me!

on Apr. 3 2010 at 9:00 am
magic-esi PLATINUM, Hyde Park, New York
27 articles 0 photos 231 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one."
"Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light."

Which is totally true and totally well written, with a good touch of humor! Original even though the idea seems overused. I like how you thought of how Bella would be in real life.

Amazing article and I felt the same way! (I cracked up at 'no offense cardboard boxes of the world'.)





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