A Gateway

March 1, 2017

 Verbal abuse can come in many ranges; loud rants, quiet and insensitive remarks, and obvious put-downs towards other people. All these forms have on thing in common; wanting to be superior to everyone else they know, also hiding failures from their past. There has been a phrase that we all have heard when we first began to speak; it goes like this, sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. As we have evolved in the human race we have come to realize that phrase is completely false. Sure, being physically hurt is terrible, but those wounds heal in time. Being emotionally scarred has to be worse. It is extremely difficult to stand back up from emotional scarring, more time, effort, and energy goes into the healing process. Marie Walker-Hartwell argues that people who are experiencing verbal abuse suffers over long periods of time they begin to lose themselves as a person.

Many ask themselves “why do people abuse others?” People that abuse come from backgrounds that contained It, they might have absorbed the abuse and possibly learned that it is okay to use those types of words and comments towards others from family and or parents. Words are powerful and some do not understand just how powerful they could be. When you become a victim of verbal abuse, there is no reason for you not to stand up for yourself. A friend of mine, last year around this time was in an off and on relationship with her significant other. Just like any other couple they argued. Eventually he began to physically and emotionally scar her. It got to a point where as they argued he became so angry, both his hands reached for her arm and pushed her to the floor then walked off like nothing ever happened. A week later, that’s when she decided to confide in me. As she explained the whole story the only emotion I expressed was disbelief, soon after I advised her to file a report to the police department. I spent weeks with this emotionally distraught friend trying my best to convince her to tell at least some other adult. I experienced first hand how difficult it is to speak up for yourself and the rights we were born with.


Standing up is the most important thing you can do at that very moment. Society does not take pity for people who cannot care for themselves. If someone notices that one, you cannot defend yourself with words, two you do not talk back, and three you are too kind, it is very likely that you will get used and abused on all kinds of levels. Psychology Today acknowledges that many do not believe that turning an insult into a joke is still abusive.

Verbal abuse in other words is bullying, not many may think that way however when it is seen and realized it makes sense. No matter who you are or how close you think you are to someone, people will judge and people will hurt you, there is no way around it in this curl world. Talking in this manner to someone will not end up nicely. A child can be raised in a household to think that he/she is never good enough for anything and then later passes on that same thought process to his children because that is how he was raised, with verbal abuse. It is a continuous cycle that will not end until it is broken up.


Words speak louder than actions and hurt more than any kind of physical pain there is. A study done by NCADV emphasizes that psychological abuse increases the trauma of physical and sexual abuse. Not only is verbal abuse itself a horrible way to treat others but also it creates and leads to other types of abuse. Verbal abuse basically coincides with cigarettes; both are types of gateway actions. 

There are too many bystanders that decide/think that it is none of their business so they will not interfere but we need more people who do. Even in school, verbal abuse takes place anywhere and everywhere. It should be taught to young children from the beginning to think before you speak and imagine how those words would affect someone’s feelings. If you are a witness of any kind of abuse, report it as soon as you can no matter what anyone tells you, so as a community we can break a cycle that has gone on for too long.

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