What Love Means to Me

October 21, 2010
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After watching a John Green video in which he talks about family and love I felt inspired to do the same. So here it goes.

We all have a family history, good or bad, and while I have had my share of bad I believe that the good has outdone the bad. My parents split up when I was twelve, about to turn thirteen. Eventually Mom met a guy who I disliked before I met, I was jealous. My mother is one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever had. She’s like my back bone, I always have her in mind when I make decisions and some day I can only hope to be half the mother she is and I didn’t want someone taking her from me. We had a good system, my Mom, my brothers, and I, we lived in an old farm house and while it was tough dealing with the divorce, I look back and think how close we were then because we needed each other so much. I look back and have such a strong urge to go embrace my brothers because they too are my world. I see how much they’re growing up and it makes me some what sad, I want to protect them, keep them locked up so they never have to get hurt or face all the troubles in the world. But I know better.

Bruce came into our lives at the perfect time. Even though I was hesitant at first, I love him now. He has taught me more in the past three years (maybe four?) than I’ve ever learned during my whole school career. He’s taught me that when you want something, you go after it. He encouraged me to do something with my writing, he’s the reason I continue to send in letters to the editor. He’s taught me to be confident in who I am. He’s taught me how to be a better student, how to be a better listener, and how to put myself out there.

More importantly, he’s taught me to love. Love who I am, what I do, who I’m surrounded by. While Bruce himself isn’t a mushy, lovey dovey guy towards me and my brothers, he’s taught us through how he treats my mother. How he looks at her, comforts her, and takes care of her. I’m lucky to be able to call him my step-dad.

Not to get religious here, but I like to think that God sends us people when we need them. God sent my mom and us Bruce when we were lost and unsure of what to do next (well, at least that’s how I felt) and once Bruce came along, we all started to find our place and discover who we are.

And I know I’m in High School and I’m young and all that, but I like to think that God sent me Mark during a time where I was lonely and insecure, it was like I was constantly loosing friends and I didn’t know who to trust anymore. But this past year with Mark has been an amazing journey of self assurance and finding security in who you are. He always makes me feel like a good person, encourages me to be an even better one, and what I find the most amazing, he puts up with my crazy rants and often he finds himself reading two pages of my writing at ten o’clock at night. He never complains though, he helps me through whatever issues I’m having. He reminds me to take a step back and breath when I’m feeling overwhelmed. In ways it’s like Mark is my Bruce. Everything Bruce does for my mother, I find Mark doing for me. They’re 2 men I’m extremely grateful to have.

The point is, you have to allow yourself to love. Whether that love is towards a family member or a significant other. When you open yourself up, possibilities are endless and hey, you might actually learn something.

They say to believe in something is to give it power. If that’s so I choose to believe in love and all the good it does.

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Afra- said...
Nov. 5, 2011 at 8:57 am
This is soemthing I needed to hear. I have been through soem bad friendships as well, and i feel like its not worth it. I have been going trhough some stuff on teen ink, and i feel like what you are saying is true. Open up and love.
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