Harsh Reality Of Daughter / Son Double Standards | Teen Ink

Harsh Reality Of Daughter / Son Double Standards

June 5, 2023
By Mikaylah19 BRONZE, Manchester, Connecticut
Mikaylah19 BRONZE, Manchester, Connecticut
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Being a parent comes with enough stress as it is, but to have a son and a daughter really puts it into perspective of how double standards not only are all around you but live in your house. Raising a son and daughter side by side is bound to cause a lot of “because I said so” arguments because how are you supposed to tell your daughter that her going out in shorts that are shorter than her fingertips but your son hanging outside with no shirt is completely fine, how do you explain that? Parents are more likely to disown and shame their daughters for engaging in any type of sexual activity but when it comes to their son, they will make sure he is using protection and give him advice. 

Being a daughter, your privacy is basically non-existent, having friends of the opposite gender was looked at as a crime or you trying to “pull a fast one” on your parents, and don’t let them find out you decided to live outside the little bubble they have tried to keep you in, sheesh, it will be like world war 3. These double standards and being treated differently honestly starts as a baby and an article from the CBS News website discusses that exact thing, “The findings showed that fathers of little girls tended to be more responsive to their daughters' needs than fathers with toddler sons, and they spoke more openly to daughters about emotions, including sadness.Fathers of little boys, on the other hand, engaged in more rough-and-tumble play and used more achievement-related language, including words like "proud," "win," and "top." “. With all these stereotypes and the stereotypical “If I have a son were going to go play sports together” or the “Me and my daughter are going to get our nails done”, but those are just some of the very small things that lead to the “You aren’t going out like that, you look like a slut” and the “He’s a boy, it’s just different and you have to understand that”. 

In an article published by Romper.com, Gemma Hartley talks about how being raised alongside her brother, she experienced a lot of double standards. She had an earlier curfew, he had more restrictions on her clothing, and she never was given privacy if she was hanging out with friends of the opposite gender. She mentions a time where her mother found a girl sleeping in her brother’s bed, “when she went to wake him, and her biggest concern was whether or not to make some extra breakfast. When my parents found out I had sex for the first time in high school, they all but disowned me. They grounded me, forced me to stop seeing my boyfriend, stopped making eye contact when they deigned to speak to me, and brought home a puppy they began calling by my childhood nickname.” Now, I’m not saying the double standards will always be this extreme, but this is also proof that they can become like this and honestly make you question how your own parents feel about you on a day to day basis. The harsh reality of the difference between being a son and being a daughter is that a daughter's life will continuously get put on hold due to the way their parents feel about the actions they’ve decided to make in their own life, but it really isn't their own life when being a daughter. 

I do understand that in some aspects of life, a girl will forever be treated and cared for by mothers and fathers. There are, though, some actions that are done by both sons and daughters that should be treated fairly by both parents. If parents keep on with the double standards and the restrictiveness towards their daughters it will create an environment of confusion and frustration as to why the men around them can always do it but they can’t. 


The author's comments:

I firmly believe the way you raise your daughter and son in the same household will reflect as they get older.


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