A Modest Proposal For Preventing the Society of America from Being Subjected to Non Traditional Family Values that Promote Homosexuality

It is an appalling and untraditional society that our children are being raised in. When children and families walk in public they run the risk of encountering a gay or lesbian couple showing physical displays of affection towards each other. Children who grow up exposed to such things will learn that traditional family values are unimportant and serve no real meaning. In addition to the young children and families that are affected, homosexual couples are also affected. It is their health and well being that we worry for, and in order to protect them from harmful or hurtful experiences it is best if they protect themselves. Homosexual couples are constantly subjected to unequal marriage laws and harassment from disapproving citizens. It is this horrible state of living that has lead citizens to seek change to aid all those who are affected by homosexual marriage.

It is my own involvement in American society that has pushed me to look for a greater solution. The average American family includes a mother, father, and exactly 2.5 children; however, as children have become accustom to seeing homosexual couples in public they have begun to think that the familial unit can be made up of anyone, rather than biological parents and children. This issue has become so wildly popular that it is even being discussed on television. Even social commentator, Jon Stewart, pointed out that “if gays become accepted, then more people will decide to be gay” similar to when “blacks gained rights, [and] all the white people… decided to be black” (Stewart). Gay marriage will affect the perceptions of familial structure in America and could also lead children to believe that tradition is unimportant and useless. Many citizens including, “6th US District Court of Appeals Judge Jeffrey S. Sutton [believe] that marriage has long been a social institution defined by relationships between men and women. So long defined, the tradition is measured in millennia, not centuries or decades” (US Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit). Marriage laws have been present for such a long time based on their history they have been deemed constitutional and just, similar to segregation; things have always been done this way, why would we ever think to change or evolve? For that reason and many others, I propose that all children and all heterosexual adults are to wear blinders, similar to those winning race horses wear, that will protect their eyes and minds from seeing any nontraditional or ungodly acts being committed around them. From infancy through the age of eighteen all children will wear blinders at all times, and on their eighteenth birthday they will take a sexuality test to determine if they are heterosexual and will continue to wear the blinders for protection of if they are homosexual and will begin to live without them and be known as the others. This proposal in fact benefits homosexual citizens as well; in modern society, a homosexual could be bullied or attacked at any moment for displaying their feelings, with this new law it would allow for children and heterosexual people to live their lives happily oblivious to the acts being committed around them and for homosexual people to live without worry of being attacked or hurt.

In addition to their protective and lifesaving nature, the blinders would be a wonderful new fashion statement for all straight people. Top brands including Louis Vuitton, Gucci, and Prada would create high end blinders to complete an ensemble while also protecting the hearts and minds of all. Who would not want to wear these fashionable and safe new accessories? In order to protect all of America, blinders have become obviously necessary, plus the buying and selling of blinders would add another dimension to our economy. Those who recognize all of the benefits that come with this proposal truly do care for the safety and well being of all American citizens. President Barack Obama recognizes that in order to make this country fair blinders would make our country united and safe. “There isn’t a white America… There is not a gay America… There is a United States of America” and in order to keep everyone safe, blinders are completely necessary (Obama). By instituting the use of blinders I have found the most caring and humane way to deal with the situation while ensuring that all people are happy. Adulthood means lotto tickets, cigarettes, voting, and sexual determination. Eighteen never looked more exciting! To guarantee that all American citizens are happy, blinders are essential to protect people from their surroundings.

After all the American people have been through I cannot think of a better, more humane and fashionable way of ridding our country of worry and subjugation. I hope that those who disagree with me can find a legitimate reason for things to continue how they are now. The institution of marriage has long since been tainted, “Kim Kardashian’s marriage cost 80 million dollars and lasted 72 days”, “Britany Spears had a 55 hour marriage”, and “43-50% of traditional marriages end” in divorce; the institution of marriage has been skewed by the millions of unsuccessful and failed traditional marriages, rather than by homosexual marriage (Nick).  I wonder how people do not question what they are taught and how it affects them and those around them.

I have to admit that I have no intention of actually putting this plan into action; however, I do hope that by being so obnoxious and annoying my proposal proves that such great lengths are not necessary to change societal belief and make it so that all are happy in their own skin. While, this doesn't affect me directly, I still feel the need to present another point of view. I myself am not gay but I am in support of gay marriage, therefore, this would not hurt me in the least but I know that there is no reason for such prejudices. Homosexual marriage is in fact just marriage. I guess love really is blind.

Works Cited
Nick Venus. “Same sex marriage does not come even close to ruining the institution of
marriage.” The Man of Steel in White. tumblr.com. Blog. 9 February 2015.
Obama, Barack. "race, America and the elusive 'more perfect union'." Fleet Center. Boston,
Massachusetts. 28 July 2004. Democratic Convention Address.
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Wtit. J.R. Havlan and Jon Stewart. Dir. Chuck O’Neil.
Comedy Central, 2014. DVD.
US Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit, April DeBoer, et al., v. Richard Snyder, et al.,
ca6.uscourts.gov, 6 November 2014.