Living with the Disabled | Teen Ink

Living with the Disabled

July 24, 2013
By Tech_Tiger_Maddy BRONZE, Wasilla, Alaska
Tech_Tiger_Maddy BRONZE, Wasilla, Alaska
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

-Eleanor Roosevelt


My life has always been around disabilities. I grew up with two older brothers that have autism. Life hasn’t been easy for us. In a society as judgmental as ours, we always had to stay strong. I grew up watching my brothers be hated upon. I never understood why they were hated so much. Since I was born into that environment, being different was normal to me. Soon I learned that being different is taboo, it was frowned upon. Although, why it was taboo was beyond me. My brothers have a developmental disability they cannot control. Why be hated for something you can’t control?

My mom was clinically depressed growing up, and my dad was never emotionally there for us. My mom and I were the main caregivers to my brothers. And when she wasn’t there, I was. I hated days when my mom would go out and it was just my dad, my brothers, and I. I always knew the moment she left, my dad would ignore us for the rest of the day. We grew accustomed to it though. My brothers learned to come to me when they needed something and I would give it to them. I would break up their fights. I was the adult. They were my children. My dad… Not in the picture. Once, it was just us all day. My dad stayed outside for hours and only came back in when it was dinnertime. I had prepared dinner (and mind you, I was quite little at the time), and he came in and said, “Oh! You have dinner ready?” I was never appreciated for the longest time. My parents had no clue what they were doing to me. I was robbed of my childhood.

Later, we moved up north, away from the south. Things went quite well for about two weeks. Then it became worse than it ever was. My dad became emotionally/mentally abusive towards my mom and brothers. He put me down constantly and it felt like he was reminding me how stupid I am. When he got mind, he would yell and throw things at my brothers. This went on for two years.

My dad wasn’t the only one to treat them like that. Society had a tendency to spit on them. They thought we should’ve hid my brothers away like a bad secret. Like they shouldn’t be here where people can see. And for the longest time, my mother and I felt like we should live like that. We were embarrassed to bring my brothers out in public. Once, at Wal-Mart, one of my brothers had a meltdown. People stared, whispered, and said rude things to my brother. I had no clue what to do or how to react, so I hid and pretended like I didn’t know him. To this day, that is still one of my biggest regrets.

Many people don’t realize this or do not want to see it, but the disabled are still people. They still have a voice and an opinion. Sometimes they just have trouble communicating. It is our responsibility that these people have a say in our society. They should be taken care of and loved, like any other person on this earth. Would you rather see them dying, starving, and homeless on the side of the street? Would you rather drive by and not have a care in the world, while these people have no one to take care of him or her? One of my favorite quotes says it all, “Independent today; helpless tomorrow.” Think about it, you could easily become of the disabled in a matter of seconds. Except, you don’t think it can happen to you until it does. Don’t go around and think you are invincible, because you’re not. Sorry, but that’s harsh reality.

So many people want to believe disability rights aren’t a problem, because, they would have to do something if they knew something were wrong. People like to think of themselves as good, not bad. But when it comes down to the bone, you’re just as selfish as the best of them. My grandparents for example: they never cared about my brothers. They didn’t know how to communicate with them, and thought they were nothing but a burden. They never loved them. They said it in words that they loved, but love takes action. I don’t settle for words. Words are easy to say; action takes motivation and determination.

As you may have noticed, I have said the word “communication” a lot. But that’s the key; you need to understand what these people are going through. People think that because they’re disabled that they have no emotion, no interest, and just don’t care about what people say or think. Well, guess what? They do. And I, of all people, would know. It has ripped my heart apart when my brother talks about people that have treated him badly. The majority of the people that have done this to him are family. Family is supposed to love no matter what, right? Wrong. Just because they haven’t taken the time to get to know them, people have lost so much. My brothers are amazing people. They have taught me so much in my life without even trying. Just the disability itself has taught me a lot. If people took the time out of their day to get to know these people, they would learn so much.

Yes, I know this will impact so few people, but it’s a start. Take the time out of your day to say hi to someone with a disability. Don’t stare or gossip about them. Take it as an educational moment and learn more about them. You may not make the biggest difference in the world, but it will make a difference to that someone with a disability. And just remember: I have talked about society a lot in my writing. You, boys and girls, are part of society. Make the difference.


The author's comments:
My brothers and the current events about the disabled have inspired me to write this. And I hope people will learn more and become inspired to help out more often.

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