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Labels: Soup Cans or People? This work is considered exceptional by our editorial staff.

I've been hearing a lot lately about labels and how they're "For soup cans, not people!"
Well, why not?
Because some people don't like their label? Well, I'm sure as hell Cream of Wheat doesn't like it's label either, but there's not too much it can do about it.
No matter what you say: everyone labels people. I know I do. I may do it more outwardly than others, and yes, I've made my mistakes, but everyone makes mistakes in everything.
I think it's okay to label people as long as you do it right, you can't go around putting Tomato Soup tags on Chicken Noodle. So how would you be sure which can is which?
Well, you can't outwardly tell. On the outside, all of the cans look the same. They're all the same metallic cylinder. So...?
Well, the first thing you'll have to do is open the can. That's pretty hard. Cans don't like to be opened because their job is to protect what's inside. But if you get the right can opener and enough pressure, the lid will snap off eventually.
Then, you have to look inside. It's a scary place. I mean, if I liked Lemon Rice but got Cream of Mushroom, I'd be pretty disappointed.
But you still have to warm it up. Well, you could eat it cold, but then it's disgusting and slimy and the aftertaste is terrible.
So you have to get a bowl or maybe a pot if you're really dedicated and stick it on the stove of pop it in the microwave.
Depending on the soup and the method you use to warm it up, you wait the right amount of time. Now, this could take two minutes of twelve. But eventually it'll warm up.
And then you can finally indulge in the soup, and only then can you put that label on the can.
But by then the can is empty and you'll find that putting a label on it would be pretty useless. You've already eaten the soup.

So, my point is, labels are fine. But you have to label things accurately. If you label something wrong and then go to pick it up later, you're going to be very disappointed. Not to mention others around you will be pissed that you labeled the Cream of Wheat as Won-ton Soup.
So, yeah. Go out into world with your sharpie and label everything, but be careful, because sharpie is permanent.



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