January 14, 2012
By RichardMagooch BRONZE, Anchorage, Alaska
RichardMagooch BRONZE, Anchorage, Alaska
1 article 0 photos 2 comments

Tired of your wife complaining , trying to learn and get a job? Or just tired of women in general? So are we. Well, there is a solution for that, the politicians over in D.C. are debating whether or not they should legalize the choice of 'putting down' their own wives. This is being talked about in many other countries around the world, except women all over are rioting about it. Many of us have tried to have a son and have failed, due to women. Why even try having children when your wife purposefully has girls? You are only wasting your time, they're too stubborn to give you an heir to the family. She just wants to waste space with her daughters that will grow up to be just as useless as she is.
Oh, and don't even get me started on cooking. Listen to what Tom Chardin from London says about his wife, "After a while they try to make you lazy by doing all the work for you. They hope that one day you will get fat, eventually die, because secretly she puts poison in your food!" Why risk that when you can get rid of them? Peter Fellen said, "One time my wife tried to kill me by catching the kitchen on fire, she had the nerve to lie to me by telling me that it was merely an 'accident', yeah right, like I'm falling for that bull****."
Women oftentimes go on strikes, saying that they want to work, like my wife who tried starting a riot saying she would 'die for the cause' Poor fools, they should know that they are incapable of working, unless they're prostitutes. Manny Ottle from New Jersey calls women "a huge distraction in the working environment" They aren't allowed to work for a reason; they can't do anything right.
They're only good at cleaning, and they complain and whine about how "hard" their lives are, take my wife for example, whom I ONLY make clean the whole house spotless, watch the kids all day, shop for me, cook, and feed the whole family and she eats the leftovers if the kids don't eat it all, when you know... I could make her do EVERYTHING, she's got it easy.
They nag about going to school too, why would they need an education? "They are unintelligent, unstable, and useless, why would we need to allow any type of law that lets women learn? When all they would do is plot against us and more importantly; take up unnecessary space? It is tedious and outrageous to even SUGGEST such things" says Professor Landers at Harvard University.
Come on, women in the olden days were accused of witchcraft and were allowed to be killed, why can't we now?
Dr. Petroski from Russia says to his wife, "I give you food so you don't starve to death; a roof over your head so you don't have to sleep in the rain. I even buy you the prettiest rags I can find to hide your hideous features from the public so you can't disgrace me further, and all I ask for in return is a son and you just can't do that right."
This whole 'women problem' needs to be resolved. It has been scientifically proven that their brains are smaller than a little boy's brain.

- Richard Magooch.

The author's comments:
This was an assignment in my AP English class.

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This article has 2 comments.

on Feb. 13 2012 at 12:08 pm
RichardMagooch BRONZE, Anchorage, Alaska
1 article 0 photos 2 comments
Haha, about that; it is in fact a prompt, I am REALLY against killing women, don't worry about that :P I'm not sexist, because I am in fact a girl. This is Satire, and if you don't know what that is, then it's agreeing with a subject to the extreme, so you're mocking it. You don't really agree with it at all, but you pretend to.

mebuggy1 said...
on Feb. 1 2012 at 1:56 pm
I have a question is this your point of veiw or did your teacher like give you a prompt to write about and this was it?????????? Because if this is your point of veiw, you are so sexist! But if it is not never mind!


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