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Interracial Relations

By , Sulphur, LA
You see him walking down the halls. He’s tall, handsome, and has a great smile. You can’t help but notice him everywhere he goes and he always gives you goose bumps and a tingly feeling in your stomach. Well, what if there was something stopping you from asking him out? What if you literally weren’t allowed to like him? That’s what happens to kids every day. I am a young, teenage female who is of Cajun French and Atakapa descent, basically a common mixture that makes up a white person in the South. I am in a position that is hard for me, but I know it is also harder for other people elsewhere.

When I was younger, I didn’t know what kind of guys to like. I’d always gotten the vague impression that people who looked like me were okay- the whole “no interracial dating” talk never came up with my parents until I was older, about a year ago. I never showed any interest in guys from my school when I was in junior high. Once I got to high school (the beginning of 10th grade, actually), that was another story. It was just my first day, and I was walking down the hall when I saw a couple, a white girl with a black boy, and it surprised me how many people were giving them glances or rolling their eyes. I felt angry at that, for some reason. It seemed I wasn’t as ‘prejudiced’ as I was supposed to be. After that, I thought a lot about my values, and why I had them. Were they in me because I wanted them or because other people wanted them? I thought about it for a while, and decided that I was okay with it. I didn’t mind other races dating each other. I felt better, knowing I had my own opinion. I didn’t know that meant it would apply to me. Not until a few months later when I had my first, actual crush. He was, as you can guess, black.

I am a very strong person, and people who have opinions of me are perfectly fine. I have a tough personality. Gossip and ugly comments won’t ever break me. So that’s why I had no problem telling my friends and family about it. My mom and dad weren’t happy. My mom was outright telling me there was no chance I’d ever be allowed to date him. My dad was more disappointed in me. However, after much talking, they were forced to realize that their opinions were based solely on nonsense, and that, as Christians, it was morally wrong to say it wasn‘t ‘right’. They finally said that they weren’t okay with it, but they would accept and respect my views and allow me to make my own decisions.

My friends were another matter. They were shocked and surprised, one even going so far as to act condescending. I, once again, explained to them my views on the matter. One of my friends actually asked me, “Why do you like black guys?” It took all of my self-control not to slap her. I was angry and hurt at her, because she was supposed to be my best friend. But I knew I wouldn’t get anywhere if I did that. I had to explain to her, and everyone else, that I was okay with liking any race, any color; black, brown, blue, polka-dot- it doesn‘t matter! Over the next few months, they became comfortable with it. I was happy about this.

But my problem now is that I want more than acceptance. Because even though they are okay with it, they always say things like, “Well I’d never do it.” No, I have not taken the plunge and found someone I really care about, any race. And being strong is a great quality. But in a society today where we have a half-African American-half-Caucasian president, people are spouting more and more fluff about ‘racial acceptance' and 'color doesn’t matter.' Well, to a lot of people, it still does. They might put on a bright smile and pretend, but, especially where I live, the atmosphere is prejudiced. I’m not going to give clichéd scenarios for people to rag on me about. I’m just wondering, WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL???? If you love someone, you love them. I’m not a hippie or a tree-hugger- I’m a human being. But every time I think about dating that guy I first liked, I think about that girl who was walking down the hall, hand in hand with her boyfriend, and I wonder if that’s the price I’m going to pay. Not to say that I wouldn’t pay it- I would gladly put up with people who don’t matter to be happy. But more along the lines of should I have to pay it. Should me, my friend, the boy who lives down the road- should anyone- have to deal with that? No one should have to be scared to make their opinion known or penalized when they do. Why can’t people open up their minds a little bit more? My parents’ answers, when I asked them why they were against it, was, “Because that’s the way we were raised.” And it’s going to be like that for a long time if we don’t do something about it. My generation, compared to a couple older ones, is generally more accepting. But we are far off from calling ourselves unbiased or non-racists. I’m not saying this as a sob story or for people to make fun of me. I’m thinking of the kids who are only two or three, and who might not be as tough-skinned as I am, but who might end up needing to be. No one should have people laugh at them, call them names, or spread rumors about them simply because they might have feelings for someone a little different than who they are. The color of the person you like may be only skin deep, but the prejudices and racisms that unfortunately come with it are a lot deeper than that.

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This article has 30 comments. Post your own!

DanielleSK said...
Jul. 3, 2013 at 5:49 pm:
Good for you, girl. We live in a world where interracial relationships are still frowned upon for some reason. Some people are completely ignorant and refuse to wrap their minds around it, while others simply feel like they can't be involved with somebody outside of their race just because they were raised a certain way. I don't understand why anybody would have a problem with interracial relationships. I think they're absolutely beautiful, but I realize that others might not feel th... (more »)
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samanthaaa said...
Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:32 pm:
It's a shame that racism and judgement still occurs in our country. My boyfriend is half puerto rican/ half black, Christian, and I am European and Jewish. It never occured to me that anybody would judge us for being together. We live in the Chicago area, and it's funny because most girls at my school are attracted to boys of color. 
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savetheplanet said...
Jan. 12, 2012 at 10:27 pm:
Wow, I mean I knew there was still racism out there, but I always saw it as something somewhere else. I was never really exposed to it, I'm a product of an interracial marriage and I'm very liberal with like-minded friends in a very conservative environment. We just brush off the occasional ignorant comments, we know in our hearts what's right.
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DeeJay said...
Aug. 11, 2011 at 6:54 pm:
oh yeah... and congrats on making it work:) and thanks for the comment! i always love feedback like this.
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ClumsyNinja said...
Aug. 11, 2011 at 6:28 pm:
I want to thank you so much for writing about this. I have been with my boyfriend for nine months and I love him very much. The problem is he's black and I'm white. It doesn't bother me, because I know race doesn't matter. It bothers my parents. They don't know we're together, because they don't want me seeing him. We manage to make things work anyway, and we have no intention of breaking up just because other people hold such narrow-minded beliefs. It helps to know that other people know w... (more »)
DeeJay replied...
Aug. 11, 2011 at 6:53 pm :
as someone who comes from a white family as well.. a deep south family with cajun roots (in case you didn't know cajuns are prett-y strict about certain beliefs, I.E. interracial dating) ... i can tell you that you need to have a sit down talk with your parents. depending on how old you are, just tell them that you are a grown woman and you are only telling them these things because you don't want to lie to them. a lot of the time, it's a "that is how i was raised" mentality. sometimes it's up t... (more »)
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septemberstarz said...
Mar. 24, 2011 at 9:10 pm:

yes, love is for everybody. it doesn't matter if they're a different religion, different race, same or different sex.


I'm white, and pretty much all the guys I've liked have been either hispanic or black. I didn't choose them BECAUSE they were hispanic/black, it just happened. and sometimes people will ask me why I don't like white guys. and it makes me want to scream sometimes.

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MinnieMouse15 said...
Dec. 12, 2010 at 11:58 am:
i solely agree with you it doesnt matter your race or religion or anything the only thing that is supposed to matter is what the two of you feel for each other...
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SnickerLover said...
Aug. 2, 2010 at 8:27 pm:
I am verrryyy happy that you decided to write about this. I live in Chicago and I hardly evvveeerrr see biracial couples and it bothers me..
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LoEssie said...
Aug. 2, 2010 at 5:23 pm:
Wow. . . I just realized how blessed I am to have the friends and parents that I have! I live in an interracial town and I go to school with kids of different races (although my town is relatively small) and my closest friends, with the exception of one, are not my race. I was so surprised to read this and hear what your friends and parents said to you. . . I just want to tell you that you are right and they are wrong, not that it really matters what I think. . . Thank you for writing this ... (more »)
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hannapey66 said...
Jun. 19, 2010 at 5:28 pm:
i dated a black guy for 6 months, it was stressful because my dad is in the army and im not saying he is racist, but as a dad he thinks boys only have one thing on their minds, and he thinks black boys DEFINITELY have only one thing on their mind, especially when it comes to a white girl. my relationship with my black boyfriend taught me so much- never to judge others, and it taught me to love. im glad im not the only one who feels this way about interracial relationships. and ps, ALLLL my frien... (more »)
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Riz-I said...
Jun. 19, 2010 at 5:01 am:

At my Secondary School, interracial dating was a pretty common thing but as I lived in the statistically proven whitest county in England, some people were pretty disapproving...

My friend is white but she told me that she only really finds men of colour attractive and her last four boyfriends have been, in order: Caribbean, Iranian, Senegalese and Korean. It irritates me that skin colour should even matter. It's just how much melanin you have in your skin. Surely, the more the better?... (more »)

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bibenji said...
Jun. 10, 2010 at 5:39 pm:
as a biracial college student who was adopted and grew up in a very white part of colorado, i had almost the opposite issues as the girl in this piece writes about. i had crushes in grade school but rarely told my parents because my crushes were on white boys. in high school i finally dated a black guy but when i dumped him for just wanting me for sex i had a convo with my parents not long after in which my mom basically said she always pictured me with a handsome black or mixed man, not a light... (more »)
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Ink_Stained_Fingers said...
May 28, 2010 at 10:12 pm:

aagghhhh i know!!! seriously, what is the problem? we are all people, and i really don't find interracial dating weird at all.

plus, not to stereotype, but black guys are hawt. seriously.

Riz-I replied...
Jun. 19, 2010 at 5:02 am :
Lol-ing forever at that last line. :')
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LaughsAlone said...
Apr. 23, 2010 at 7:33 pm:
Agree completely :) Whenever we are playing this silly game called 'MASH', in the 'future husband' area, my Asian friends always give each other Asian choices for the husband and they are always sure to give me all or mostly Caucasians (I am white)...It's just a little thing, but on kid networks you almost never see interracial dating either. It's teaching kids that isn't normal, which is so wrong...
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Mizz_Kia_Baybiiee said...
Mar. 23, 2010 at 2:43 pm:
I love it. you are right. No offense but most white people think they are superior to blacks. I see some walking around school all the time. I use to hang with a girl named faith. her grandmother wouldnt even allow me to go to her party because im black. it hurt me and i started to wonder whether racism could be stop. We were all created by god so therefore we are one race. That is how i will always see it.
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TheUndiscoveredStar said...
Jan. 31, 2010 at 9:35 pm:
this is beautiful. i understand 2 different native tribes [[[blackfoot and cherrokee]]]...french creole...hawaiian and black.....i personally think mixed children are i honestly dont let racial barriers block my first bf was mexican....I ♥ INTERRACIAL DATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Dynasty said...
Dec. 3, 2009 at 9:25 am:
i like this article becuz i like guys of a diffrent or think they are ute and my big sis and cousins always ask me do i like them and its weird becaused none of them are racist but never see themelves with someone of that particular race.
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LavenderStone said...
Nov. 19, 2009 at 6:03 am:
My parents are an interracial couple, and I am so glad they stayed together even when people were disapproving of them, otherwise I wouldn't be here. I agree with you that it doesn't matter what race the person you fall in love with is. The important part is love. I'm glad there are others who feel the same way.
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