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Slain

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EbonyKnight
Slain
Summary: David is a man of few words or worries. Then his family was murdered in cold blood. No one knows who did it or why, all David later knows is that he/she is targeting people he grew up with's families. Who did it? And why? Why did they kill the ten orphans' families?





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This book has 4 comments. Post your own now!

None0 said...
Sept. 19, 2013 at 7:31 pm
When I read this, I kept getting the feeling that this was just an outline. I mean, some parts are very well developed, like the dialogue, but other parts I feel need some expanding. Go further in-depth on the description. It might also be wise to give the reader a better sense of the time, or use some transitional sentences whenever a new scene starts so the reader doesn't get confused (I got used to it by the second chapter, but the first one confused me a little). Other than that, maybe u... (more »)
 
EbonyKnight replied...
Sept. 20, 2013 at 8:41 am
Thanx 4 the feedback, and yes this is the outline, I'm still working on chapters to come. I'll b sure to fix some of that stuff that you caught. thanx again.
 
JoyMasonThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 16, 2013 at 12:00 am
This is amazing, you r really good, this is actually kinda freaky how the killer tore up the kids like old shirts, don't let it end there, tell us who did it!
 
EbonyKnight replied...
Sept. 16, 2013 at 7:55 am
Thanx, i'm really enjoying writing this, even i don't know who did it, tho i have an idea. thanx again, yur pretty good 2, btw.
 

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