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We Don't Always Know The People We Trust The Most

By , Baton Rouge, LA
Anonymous
We Don't Always Know The People We Trust The Most
Summary: Amy is a fun loving girl and is part of the intergalatic police force. She has made it to the top most position in the field. Her partner Patrick keeps her in line and together they are the best in the buisness. Though, no one really knows who Amy she is. She's faked her past and when her family finally catches up with her it isn't a happy family reunion.
Patrick discovers her past but he must help Amy overcome it.





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This book has 3 comments. Post your own now!

AddictedToWriting said...
Mar. 17, 2011 at 9:06 pm
Hey!  No prob.  Like I said on the thread, you can usually find it on one of the first three pages of 'sci-fi/fantasy', 'most popular'.  Currently, though, it is down because I added a new chapter.  You can either wait until it's back up or try my fictionpress page.  (Google fictionpress, then search "Now You See It Rewritten".  Thanks!
 
AddictedToWriting said...
Mar. 17, 2011 at 12:53 am

Hm.  As far as content and what's actually happening, this has a lot of potential.  I kind of wish that there was a little more description and thought process on the main character's part.

When it comes to grammar and spelliing--the stuff teachers call 'conventions'--you need some work.  I caught a few typos ('bite' instead of 'bit', etc.) that one read-through with a red pen should fix.

You also have very few, if any, commas.  When you're writing, imagine y... (more »)

 
koolwords replied...
Mar. 17, 2011 at 4:12 pm

hey

thanks for the comment and I know my grammer skills are atrosious (i probably misspelled that word). Anyway thanks

 

also I know I said I would comment on your story but I'm still a little unsure on how to find it

 

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