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Feelin' the love
I sat in my usual desk in 2nd period English. You know the seat extremely close to the window that you can practically jump out if you really, really tried? Yeah, that’s the one. I’m the girl that sits there looking all mean and snobby because…well that’s what I am, a ghetto snob. And I’m gonna keep it that way. Why? Well because it damn sure suited my looks. Golden tan skin that came from my natural Puerto-Rican heritage, my emerald green eyes that sparkled with delight, and my shoulder long black as night hair that couldn’t decide to be curly or wavy so it decided to be between both.
Most people that know me say I have the looks of the perfect girl next door. Yeah, right. News flash, I’m not perfect. Never have and never will be. Unless your description of the perfect girl next door is a snobby, ghetto speaking, girl shanking, no daddy having seventeen year old, them yes I am the perfect girl next door. My best friends Vinney and Monica laugh when I say that to people who assume wrong about me. They knew from the start not to assume anything about me. Vinney has been my friend since sixth grade when he moved from Connecticut. People say it was a shame that he got to know me because Vinney used to be such a sweet, nice boy but now he’s just like me and Monica. Vinney is a stereotype gangster except without the baggy jeans and the gold teeth. Nope Vinney would rather just prefer to wear sagging skinny jeans, plain one color solid t-shirts, lots of baseball hats tipped to one particular side and a diamond stud in his left ear. His hair is always kept short and out of his face. “To keep attention to my face,” is what he would say. My friend Monica is a whole ‘nother story. Monica looks like a straight up beach Barbie. Ah ha, but looks can be deceiving. This Barbie doesn’t come with a dream house or car but a b*tchy attitude. Beach Barbie aint got nothin’ on Monica. Monica, beside having the longest straightest blondest hair I’ve ever seen, she has great big sapphire blue eyes that always attracts the cuties to her. Next to her I don’t really stand a chance bagging me a rich white guy.
So today, as I sat in Geometry, I worked on my 4th period art class project. Yeah I know homework is for home but I was busy….sleeping. I know I sound so lazy but really I’m not. I have to sit at school for six hours and forty five minutes, listen to a bunch of know it all teachers that think they get me when really they don’t, and on top of that I got to ride the bus home for almost an hour listening to a bunch of people have conversations about their life, as if I really care. That’s why I got mom to buy me a used 2011 Soul in red, so that I don’t have to ride the bus anymore and I barely got it this morning. Anyhoo, I couldn’t concentrate with Mrs. Finch running her mouth about common nouns and what not so I started listening to my IPod so that I could concentrate. All was going well until Monica, who always saved my butt, threw a pencil at my face.
Reacting quickly I turned to Monica and whispered harshly “What the hell Mon’!!!” But she just pointed forward and I followed her finger with me gaze up until it reached Mrs. Finches ugly face. Mrs. Finch had some troll-ish qualities to her face. I couldn’t describe it but something about her face just made her look like a troll. Not to mention her unnatural copy paper white skin and her blond graying hair that was always tied up in bun giving her eyes a slight Asian look because that’s how tight it was. Her hairstyle matched her personality….uptight. As I jumped, Mrs. Finch stuck her big ugly troll face in mine like she had authority or somethin’.
I knew what came next, the scolding.
Using her annoying squeaky voice she said “Miss Thompson, how many times have I caught you doing this exact same thing?”
“I dunno,” I mumbled “You the math teacher, you do the math,”
“Eighteen times, outside please,” she commanded.
I sighed and threw my notebook hard against the desk, slammed my chair into my desk, and gave her the dirtiest look I could come up with as I walked past her. As I walked outside she told the class to do the rest of the work alone thanks to me. Ha, like if I cared what a bunch of nerds, jocks, cheerleaders, and Monica think.
“Eighteen, Tatianna! Eighteen!” She yelled once the door slammed shut.
“So?” I asked not really caring.
“Tatianna you used to be such a sweet nice girl. What happened to you?” she asked.
“What happened to me??!! You really think I’ve changed?! Well news flash old lady, I’ve always been this way but now I’m more mature and I do what I want when I want! No more sweet crap!”
“Tatianna! I knew this would happened after the many times your dad beat you,”
“Ey, don’t bring my dad into this you aint got the right to!”
“I have every right. You used to dress so proper and pretty. Now all you wear is hoochi clothes!”
“Screw this! I don’t gotta take this from you! I’m going to see Dr. Jilliane!”
“Go and don’t come back to my class then!”
“THANK YOU VERRY MUCH!” I yelled walking away using every cell in my body not to flip her off.
Yupp, this was the norm for me. This always happened, not every day just occasionally. More times than you can imagine. So I went to our principal’s office like I always did. Dr. Jilliane was always so nice to me. She understood how I and Mrs. Finch would always clash and just kept me in her office filling papers and stuff. She is very young and everyone likes her. She is African American and has pretty mocha skin. Her eyes are a soft brown color that reminds me of almonds. The guys here love her. They even call her “The Black Princess” behind her back. She had those killer hips that drove Vinney and other guys crazy when she came around. Her hair was always perfect and she was always poised. She is so independent and sister be workin all she got. I’m pretty sure the song “She got her own” by Ne-yo was wrote for her.
Anyway, she knows I have a hard enough life already without the Finch getting at me. And she has a point. My life really is stressful right now. I’m actually in a foster home pending adoption, if the judge denies the adoption its back to a group home for me. Why was I in a foster home? Well maybe the fact that my mom was being abused by my dad and then he’d come beat me if I got in his way or even tried to defend my mom. Before I was taken into Child Services care, my real parents had a huge fight. Mom had turned into a crack and marijuana addict. She just loved the stuff because it numbed her from the pain she felt on the outside of her skin and turned the dark purple bruises deeply indented in her skin to some hilarious shape she couldn’t stop laughing at until she would almost pee on herself. She never did it in front of me, but that day she had no other choice. Her hangout spot had been raided and she got out in time. She shot up while I was there watching TV the thing every pre-teen girl does at twelve. Well when my dad got home, saw her high, found the bong and the needles in front of me, he completely lost it. He started beating her and punching and kicking her in the stomach and cursing her out. The words still ring in my ear if I think hard enough. Are you so stupid?! Didn’t I tell you not in my god damned house? It sends chills up my spine just to think about it.
I ran all the way to Dr. Jilliane’s office where Vinney took the liberty to do community service hours. Since he was supposed to be in honors Geometry, but he missed the deadline to apply for that class he got put in regulars Geometry, but got tutored in Honors Geometry after and before school. It was Dr. Jilliane’s idea to have Vinney do community service hours at her office instead of waste time learning something he already knew by heart. So every time Mrs. Finch sent me to the office I always saw Vinney there. Today was no different; he was there like always, wearing his favorite New York Yankees baseball hat, the gleaming stud in his ear, with a clean white t-shirt and dark blue skinny jeans. This was sorta Vinney’s trademark style. If you see a tall Puerto Rican guy that hangs around the streets of 21 and Michigan Avenue wearing that, you can assume that it’s Vinney.
“Hey Vinn,” I greeted “Where’s Dr. J?”
“Hey ‘Iana, she’s not here. She’s with the kids that are transferring here giving them speeches and what not, so she aint got no time for trouble makers,” Vinny said in that smooth voice with a hint of amusement.
“What, me and trouble don’t go in the same sentence,” I said.
“Then why else would you come here?” he said straightening out papers on Dr. Jilliane’s desk over and over again. “Miss me too much?”
“Ha you’re hilarious,” I said “Why do you keep going back to that same pile of papers, anything to touch Dr. J’s stuff huh?”
Vinney turned beet red and changed the subject “So what’s it this time,”
“Dude she called me a hood rat, a skank, talked about my parents and-“
“The usual, huh?” Vinney interrupted before I could go on. I sighed and answered yes. He continued to say “Man you and Mrs. Finch—mmm mmm--- don’t belong in the same room together. You should really tell Jilliane to move you,”
“But that’s the only class I have with you and Monica besides gym and lunch,” I whined.
“Yeah but gym and lunch are fun cause we can all talk an mess around,” Vinney began “I’m not even there and I see you in Chem anyway. Didn’t you tell me that you and Mon don’t even talk in geometry? Didn’t you say that she was too focused because we know she’s trying so hard to understand it, that she leaves you by yourself to act dumb?”
“Yeah but—I dunno, I guess I’ll ask her. What room is she in?” I asked politely.
“She’s in the third floor auditorium,” Vinney said.
“Ugh! Man now I gotta go up all them stairs!!” I groaned jokingly.
As I walked away Vinney said “Lazy,”
Jumping back in front of him I said “Oh yeah would a lazy girl do this,” and snatched his hat and ran as fast as my track team legs would take me. He kept yelling and yelling for me to come back but by the time his yelling reached my ears I was already on the stairs on my way to the third floor auditorium.
I finally reached the auditorium to see that Dr. Jilliane and Mrs. Cho passing out the schedules to the newbie’s and giving them last minute advice to calm their nerves. I noticed that some guys were already in that deep hypnotic spell that Dr. Jilliane put most guys In when she walked by, and they didn’t seem to be hiding their stares like the rest of the guys do, but they’ll learn to. Once Dr. J catches them starin’, I thought to myself.
Just then, without missing a beat Dr. J turned around and caught two losers staring at her glory and said “Excuse you boys, It don’t look like you guys have lazy eyes or any other medical condition right?”
They nodded no in fear.
“Mmm hmm, that’s what I thought,” she said giving them the death stare and said “Don’t ever let me catch you staring again you hear me?”
“Yes ma’m,” they murmured in fear.
Quickly I turned around and laughed at their dumbness, but then someone tapped me on the shoulder causing me to whip around with scary quickness. It was Dr. Jilliane staring in confusion at me.
“Tatiana, are you all right? You shaking up her like you havin’ a seizure,”
“No, I’m alright I was just hoping you could get me back into the Fritz’ class, and maybe talking about possible changes in my Geometry class?” I asked with my puppy dog Face that only worked on my foster parents.
“Hmm how about I get you back into Mrs. Fritz’ class, you give me that hat, stay there for the rest of the period and then at the end of the day if you still feel like you want to leave her class I will consider it? Is that okay?” she asked.
I handed her Vinney’s hat and said “Yeah that’s cool but I don’t know why you don’t just consider it now I mean by the end of the day today I’m still gonna want out of her class.”
I didn’t know how wrong I was.
I got back into Mrs. Fritz class, berly. She couldn’t stop arguing with Dr. Jilliane about how I don’t treat her with respect and how I don’t care if my grades slip, which is totally not true by the way. I really do care about my grades cause umm hello a sistah here wants to go to college too you know. Just cause I’m mixed doesn’t mean I’m gonna let that stop my dreams of becoming a….. a… well I don’t know what I wanna be yet but I got two years to figure that out. Any hoo, Dr. Jilliane kept defending me and she kept saying that I had a lot of potential in me and I didn’t show her respect because maybe in my eyes Mrs. Fritz didn’t earn it yet. That must have stung because Mrs. Fritz turned bright red in rage and let me in not before mumbling “I didn’t earn her respect. Hmm maybe it’s the fact that I’m not black of half black,” just as I was about to kick her racist ass in the face Dr. Jilliane shot me a don’t worry about It look that calmed me down and led me to take my seat.
As I sat down Monica tapped me on the shoulder and asked “Yo, what happened girl? You got the look of killer in ya,”
“Nothin’, it’s just that the Fritz is thinking me and Dr. Jilliane have a little black on black agreement going on. She sayin’ that we don’t give her respect because she aint black, like if that mattered to me anyways,” I said slightly angry.
“Pshh, tell me you kicked her in the face,” Monica pleaded.
“Girl I was gonna but you know…suspension. Then I’ll get charged with assault and battery, and you know I aint ending up like my dad,” I said doing my art project again. What, I’m not gonna do the work of a racially narrow minded person.
“Man, I mean I’m half white too but I don’t care if you guys are black. She needs to stop trippin’,” Monica scoffed.
“You said it girl,” I remarked “And you know what else-“
“Class!!” Mrs. Fritz interrupted “I was just informed that we got some new students,” she said pointing to a row of standing students.
I could almost label them already without even saying a single word to them.
“This is Jack Houghmin,”
Jock, I thought.
“This is Kimberly Parker,”
Cheerleader, I thought.
“Nicholas Davay, Cambridge Dunn,”
Nerd, double nerd, I thought.
Steppers chick, I thought.
“And Evan Tyler,”
Emo, I thought gasping a little.
As Mrs. Fritz talked about them I couldn’t help but stare at Evan. He was so gorgeous, like seriously. Not just hot for an emo guy, but hot hot. He had dark black shiny midnight black hair, a spiked bracelet on his left wrist, black skinny jeans and a black t-shirt, and black Jordan’s. He was over all wow, the other guys didn’t even compare when he was around. As he walked to his seat I looked at him, but acted like I wasn’t looking, when I really was. As he past me, I inhaled, and learned that he smelled so incredibly wonderful. Trying to brush it off I started to do some of my art project and got into my usual artsy fartsy rhythm as Monica called it, it just meant that I would do everything with a certain bat to it. She used to hate it so much because it took me so long to get out of that phase that she tried everything that she could to get me to snap out of it. Once Vinney saw what she was trying to do he told her “Eh what can you do, the girls got music in her soul,” Which I guess you can say is true, I mean I do love music, the deeper and harder the bass the better. Yupp, nothing can break me out of the rhythm spell except when I really want to. That and Monica flipping her hair and smiling like a huge creepo!
Instantly I whirled around and asked her what she was doing. She simply replied, “Nothing just that the Evan Tyler guy is starring at my direction,”
I couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit jealous. Monica always attracted the cute guys, the only good guy I’ve gotten was— that dude who shall remain nameless. I sighed and said “Monica are you sure you’re not hallucinating again?”
“I’m nawt! Seriously look,” she suggested.
I sighed and played it off acting as if I was searching for something in my book bag. Well he was looking in our direction, but as I starred longer at him I noticed he was staring not at Monica but at me. His intense blue eyes caught a hold of me and didn’t let go, his eyes seemed to stop time. I was too astonished to move so we just stared at each other for what felt like hours. Finally, when he winked at me I jumped in surprise and turned back to do my art project. Only, one problem, I couldn’t concentrate. I could only think about him. God what is wrong with me, I thought in my head.
Suddenly my thoughts were interrupted by the loud passing period bell. I jumped for what seemed like the millionth time and gathered my things. I did it slowly so that Evan could leave after me so t hat I wouldn’t be tempted to follow him to his next class.
“Are you okay?” Monica asked making me jump again. “You’re so jumpy today,”
“Nah I’m fine.” I said. She gave me an I don’t believe you, now spill it before I cut you- look. I sighed and said, “Fine, it’s just that that Evan Tyler kid really psyched me out,”
“Oh my gosh, me too. See what I’m tellin’ you!! That dude is a total flirt, good thing I know how to flirt back. He’s cute aint he?” she asked.
Shocked I responded “Umm yeah. See you later Mon,”
I tried to get away from her as fast as I could, I couldn’t tell her who he was really looking at, it would break her heart and she’ll act the same way she did when we first met Vinney. Though I could feel the knot in my stomach grow larger I couldn’t help but wish that Evan Tyler would be in my English II class I was heading to right at that moment.