Dawna's Story

August 10, 2011
By fallenandcantgetup, Clarinda, Iowa
fallenandcantgetup, Clarinda, Iowa
0 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
Never Give Up On Your Dreams

Live Love Laugh
That\'s what life is all about


Dawna thought her life was getting back to normal when she met Kevin online. Then her ex-boyfriend came back into her life. Who will she choose? What will happen after she decides?

Ashli S.

Dawna's Story

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This book has 9 comments.

on Apr. 13 2017 at 10:32 pm
GraceTaylor12 BRONZE, Coopersburg, Pennsylvania
3 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You are unique, and if that is not fulfilled, then something has been lost." -Martha Graham

this is really good, the only comment i have is that it is really fast! If you add more detail, this would be even better than it is now.

imagonner said...
on May. 18 2016 at 4:02 pm
imagonner, Loveland, Colorado
0 articles 0 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
' its not about winning fist place in the race, its about finishing the race.' don't forget who you are to me.

hey sorry about this but, your story Is fast paced, add some more detail to what the character feels about the setting... it is a good plot, just needs working on. hey, @1-800Peppermints @SpottyLepard @Freckles3 @chloejane @BanglaGirl @AnnieHay come check out my story and comment pls!!!!

on Dec. 20 2013 at 9:28 pm
1-800Peppermints, Charlotte, North Carolina
0 articles 3 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Adventure is not outside man; it is within."
-George Eliot

Really good story.  I love the interactions between everyone, but I would definitely give a little more detail and a little less dialogue.  Just to help it flow better.   Awesome though, really.  :)

SpottyLepard said...
on Jun. 27 2013 at 11:03 pm
SpottyLepard, Concord, North Carolina
0 articles 59 photos 78 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Smooth seas do not make strong sailors." -Old Nigerian Proverb

Nice story! The only things I would recommend is to elaborate more on the experiences and emotions of your characters. For example, instead of just saying they went to dinner and using dialogue to get the idea across to readers, add details about the experience and emotions your characters are having. Details will really make your story more alive and realistic to readers, and will also help it to be slower-paced and easier to keep up with. The dialogue is good and you have great characters, so nice work! :)

on Apr. 22 2013 at 9:41 pm
Freckles3 BRONZE, ------------, Ohio
3 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The universe is not only queerer than we suppose; it is queerer than we can suppose."
~J.B.S. Haldane

Really great story idea, but the chapters are reaaaallly long, and the dialogue was pretty overwhelming. It seems like it's got potential, though! Keep it up!

on Apr. 22 2013 at 8:34 am
chloejane SILVER, Gatton Australia, Other
6 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
You don't love someone because they're perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they're not.”
― Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper

Great story and plot but the dialogue needs to died down a little, especially at the beginning. Too much dialogue can often stay the attention away from the reader, it tends to bore them if their is too much and quite often the dialouge gives away too much information on the first page.

MzDuri said...
on Jan. 30 2013 at 9:55 am
I agree w/ Annie Hay but very awsome story

BanglaGirl said...
on Dec. 11 2012 at 10:05 am
BanglaGirl, Dinajpur, Other
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
Awesome story!

AnnieHay said...
on Aug. 14 2011 at 8:46 pm
AnnieHay, Glendale, New York
0 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.~Ferris Beuller
The past is the future with the lights on.~Plus 44

Unique story idea, just a tiny bit fast paced..:)

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