Author's note: I really hope you enjoy this! It's all I have been able to think about for the past few days. I... Show full author's note »
From Kyle's Point of ViewChapter Eight. Kyle.
Days in the hospital were terrible.
It's been two days since I've awaken. It felt like awaking from any other dream and I exepected to see my cluttered room. But, when I awoke, I heard beeping and the smell of bleach and soap replaced the stench of dirty old socks and spray on deodorant.
Then, when I went to get out of this uncomfortable bed, I couldn't feel my left foot. Glancing down, I came to see nothing. No foot. And that was highly disapointing.
I cried for about thirty minutes after the news was broken to me about my foot being amputated. Then watched as my mother cried when I didn't remember how I got there. My sobbing immediantly ceased when I was told that a girl named Leah was on her way.
My heart flutted. But when I racked my mind for a face to match this feeling, I came up with blackness.
I felt something. But, I didn't know what. And when she walked into the hospital room I thought she was a frantic nurse.
Little did I know.
She had told me that the story and I saw how much it hurt her. Leah gave off a vibe. An obvious vibe that screamed that she was strong. And watching her break down in my presence was terrifying. My whole entire body screamed comfort her which seemed like the most natrual thing in the world. If this is how I felt watching her cry, I can only imagine the on going pain of everyone else watching her slowly die inside when I was asleep.
My mind's not totally gone. I remember somethings. Like my parents. I remember our house and my room. I remember my favorite pair of shoes. I remember that I got a kite shaped like an airplane for my tenth birthday.
But I don't remember Leah.
Everytime I tried to think of her or the shark attack all I got was blackness. An endless abyss of lost memories, that I just couldn't wiggle my mental fingers around.
I wanted to remember her. With every fiber in my body I wanted to remember her. After she left I had the worst migrane from thinking to hard. The therapist told me that head aches occur like this when I over think stuff. That I can't force it too hard like I was doing. Over time, he had said, it should all just snap together.
I wanted to believe it but, the robbing of my mind left me feeling naked and helpless.
When Leah kissed me yesterday, I felt the craziest sensation. My belly got all warm. My head was reaching around for something that would help me remember. It was like my lips knew what they were doing. Like they remembered everything.
I had just gotten dressed when Leah walked in, looking better than yesterday. Her hair was combed down in brown waves that were gliding down her back. She also looked well rested and energized. The dark circles I had noticed under her eyes were long gone.
"Hey," I smiled up at her and sat down on the edge of my hospital bed.
She swallowed a lump in her throat. "Your getting around okay. That's... great." She exahled the least word. Leah trailed her eyes down my body, letting them linger on my lame stump of a leg.
"Yeah, they have me doing lot's of upper body workouts and some exercises for my other leg. Did I work out alot when... You know, before the accident?"
She sat down in the green cushioned chair. "Yeah, you loved it." Leah paushed. " Um, when are you going home?"
I had the sudden urge to kiss her again. But not now, it wouldn't be right.
"Sometime tonight. The doctors said I should be fine. They also said it would be good for me to go on with the normal routine for each day... whatever that is. I have an appointment in eight more weeks," I relpied.
She nodded. "I, um, need to talk to you about something," she said, turning completly serious for the moment.
I nodded for her to proceed.
She bit her bottom lip hard. I could see the flesh tearing underneath her teeth.
I had an urge to comfort her but I couldn't move from my uncomfortable posistion on the hospital bed. I was dreading her following words before I knew them. Was it just instinct or was it that little piece of my old self rising up and knowing Leah well enough to predict that this was about to get serious?
"The wedding is cancelled. And... so our we."
Was I imagining that or did Leah really just say that.
I looked up. Her face was mortified. And that told me that she did speak it.
My throat went dry. "What?" I hoarsely croaked.
Leah's eyes widened at my reaction, but she didn't respond.
I cleared my throat and asked, "Are you breaking up with me?"
I couldn't believe this. How could she? From what I heard, it was pretty serious. Our relationship, I mean.
"No!" she rushed. "I'm not breaking up with you. Since you don't remember anything it's not an end. I'm just giving you a new start, which is what you need. You don't need to be tied down to the past, Kyle." Her eyes were bright and I was afraid they were about spill over in tears.
My anger was bubbling inside of me. I haven't been this angry since I learned about the attack and the whole no leg scenario. I wanted to shove my fist through a window. Was this something I struggled with in my other life? And I couldn't remember. Which only made me angrier.
"So in other words you're giving up on me?" I spat and huffed through my nose.
She backed up in her chair a little bit, like I actually blew at her with my words. "No!" Leah stuttered.
"It's not that you don't want me to be tied down to you. It's that you don't want to be tied down to me!," I fired. I didn't know what was happening. These words just flowed out of my mouth and I couldn't stop them. "And that's pathetic, Leah. Just pathetic!
"I thought you were different..." I finished and took a deep breath.
I looked up at her. Tears were threatening to come down her face but I saw her swallow and struggle to keep them packed in. The vien in her neck twitched as her whole body went stiff.
"And I thought you were different," she said in a small voice. "But of course you've changed. The exact reason for me to do this. And if you truly remembered me, then you would know that I am not 'pathetic' and I don't think of myself before you." Her voice stayed dangerously calm and shivered in my shirt. "I want you to live your life and test the waters. And I was going to say that if you found that you still love me, I'll be here waiting. But, if your going to act like this- a Kyle that I never knew- then we weren't meant to be."
Leah stood up, took a deep breath, grabbed her purse and looked back at me with piercing blue eyes that watery. "Goodbye, Kyle."
And with that she walked out the door.