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The Summer I Found Myself
The day started out like any other. I woke up with the sun shining down over my head. As I stretched I rolled over on my belly to look out my window that overlooked the backyard. It was a beautiful day. Not a cloud in sight.
I got up and got dressed for the first day of summer. This is going to be the best summer of my life.
Shelly, my best friend, came over around 3 to pick me up so we could go to the mall and get new bathing suits. I got in her car as a song blaring full blast wound down to the end.
“So, tonight there is a party over at Dylan’s house” Shelly told me.
“Were we even invited?” I asked skeptical.
“Not technically, but do you think that anyone is ever invited?”
“Yea, I actually do. You know most people aren’t outcasts like us. They actually get invited to parties. It’s like a code or something.” I said as I looked over at her.
“Macy, If we don’t go to the first party of the summer people are going to peg us as losers for our senior year. Not that we aren’t already. Live a little, please?” Shelly begged from me.
“Fine, but if it gets uncomfortable, I’m leaving. No buts. Deal?” I said firmly.
“Alright. Deal.” She said as she turned up the radio and began singing along to some Carrie Underwood.
We got to the mall and Shelly and I began looking at cute skirts and wedges. We both bought a cute party outfit for tonight as well as some extremely cute bathing suits. My bathing suit has ruffles on the edges and is a soft pink color. Shelly’s bathing suit is platinum blue with green stripes down it.
As we got back to my house, Shelly told me she would be back to get me around 10 tonight. As much as I’d like to deny it, I was pretty excited. I mean, for once I would be able to socialize like a normal person.
Me and Shelly were not sent to social exile by fault. We chose to spend time studying for quizzes on the weekend when normal teens were out drinking. Which in fact pegged us as the academic nerds. Were not ugly. I mean, both of us have average weight . But not like those other girls who choose not to eat and become twigs. We’re normal.
I have really long brown hair accumulated after I went on this strike after my mom cut my hair in a bob in freshman year. As it turns out, it’s pretty wavy. Shelly is a natural blond that is cut at shoulder length. Her mom takes her to the Salon so she never had to go through the traumatic stages of puberty the way I did.
Shelly has always worn make-up but I don’t see the reason to put any on. I only wear make-up on special occasions or if I’m really trying to impress someone.
I’ve been asked out a few times but me and Shelly just tend to keep to our studies. “If you ever want to get into Brown you need to be prepared.” Shelly would always tell me after I would start complaining about prepping for the SAT s.
This summer though, after we finally realized that we are practically graduated we’d both decided that we would become more socially active. Or in Shelly’s case, Get drunk and for once not care about school or any of the other pressures that had been laid out for us.
Shelly arrived over my house around 10:30. I walked downstairs and past the living room where my mom and dad were watching a show on TV.
“Where are you going?” My mom turned from the TV screen and looked at me.
“Me and Shelly are going to go to the movies and then I’m going to stay the night at her house.” As I told her the first thing that had popped into my head.
“Why are you dressed like that? I don’t want you out traipsing downtown at the theater wearing clothes like that.” She scorned.
As she said that my dad then looked over at me.
“Mom please, I just thought for once I would care what my appearance looked like. It’s not a big deal.” I said.
After a few moments passed she finally said “Alright, but don’t forget your mace. You can never be too safe at night.” She said as she looked at me carefully, like she could see right through my lies. But when I thought she was going to send me back to my room to change, her and my dad both turned their attention back to the screen.
I slipped out the door and climbed in the front seat of Shelly's car.
“Gosh, I thought you were going to take forever.” She playfully laughed.
“Sorry, my mom decided that tonight she would pay attention to me or what I wore. I’m good now though. She just told me to bring my mace.” I said back.
“Nice, did she use the whole ‘You can never be too safe’ line on you?” She asked teasingly.
“Funny, but she actually did.” I laughed.
We arrived at the party finally after driving up and down the road multiple times trying to get our act together.
As we walked up the front step of the house there were people hanging all over the porch. Nobody paid any attention to us. We got in the door and walked around and Shelly found some people she actually talked to in school there. They came over and immediately started chatting up a storm.
“Oh, my gosh.” One of the girls called at me, trying to be heard over the stereo blaring. “You’re in my advance physics class aren’t you?”
“Yea, Casey right?” I yelled back to her.
“Yea. I totally didn’t know you were into this kind of thing.” Casey yelled and leaned over sloshing some of the liquid in her cup onto the floor.
“I’m normally not.” I yelled back.
“Well, hey, lemme get you a beer.” She yelled as her words were being slurred.
"Alright, that would be cool." I said trying to fit in.
Casey took me over into the kitchen where there was a keg in the corner. She tapped it, grabbed
a cup, and filled it.
"Here you go. Just help yourself whenever you want." She finished then stumbled off into a crowd of people playing beer pong.
I went and found Shelly sitting on the couch next to a guy I remembered who played on the football team.
"What is that?" Shelly directed her attention to me.
"From what I understand, I think it's beer." I replied back with a smirk.
"Hey, do you think you can get me one?" She said while side glancing the football player.
"You know what? I think you can just have mine." I said as I handed over my full cup.
Shelly took the cup from my hand and started drinking away while turning her attention to
I started getting irritated because Shelly and I had come to this party together and all she wanted to do was ignore me, or so I felt like. I decided to walk into the kitchen where I heard loud yelling noises.
"here drink this!" As a guy that I have never met before thrust a cup into me.
"Um, no thanks." I replied.
He just stood there looking at me for a second before moving on to another girl passing by behind me.
After side stepping a bunch of groups I made my way back to the living room where Shelly was nowhere to be seen. I sat down on the couch next to a couple making out.
"I think I saw your friend go upstairs with Jake." A guy said as he came out of large crowd by the stereo.
"Thanks. I guess I should go check on her huh?" I said tired.
All I wanted to do was go to a party for the first time and have a great time. I wanted to talk to people. But instead, I'm left on the back-burner with Shelly, trying to find her. You know, I’m always bailing her out. For once I’d like to be the bail-ey.
"I can go with you, if you want." The guy said.
"Thanks, but I think I can handle it." I replied back.
"Well, anyways, I'm Mike." He said with a half smile.
"Macy." I said as I walked away.
I climbed up the stairs and looked in the line for the bathroom, but sure enough, she wasn't there. The last thing I need is to lose her. So, I began opening up doors to rooms. The first one I opened there was a large group in there smoking out of a pipe. From what it smelled like, it wasn't tobacco. I closed that door and opened up another which was empty.
I decided to go in there to clear my head. All the smoke was starting to give me a headache. I sat down on the bed and looked around. It was a boys room. Judging by the trophy's I'm thinking this was Dylan's room. Dylan is our starting Quarterback. He's cute, smart, and talented. So, naturally he has girls pinning for him all the time.
Just then the door opened as Mike came in the room. He saw me sitting on the bed, and he sort of jumped.
"Oh shit. You just scared me. I didn't exactly expect anyone in here." He said taken aback.
"Too much smoke for me out there." I said with a smile playing on my lips.
"So, do you go to school with Dylan?" He said as he motioned around the room.
"I do." As I sighed, I said.
"And where are you from? I mean, you don't look familiar and most of the people here I've known since seventh grade." Macy asked.
Now that I wasn't so focused on finding Shelly I got to look at Mike a little better. He has these green eyes and his smile was one of those perfect white smiles where you just knew he had braces before.
All in all Mike is cute. No, scratch that, gorgeous. That was all I could think about when finally he talked and snapped me out of it.
"So, did you find your friend?" as he spoke he looked around as if the evidence was somewhere in here with us.
"Actually, I didn't. So, naturally, I gave up." This got a smile out of him and took my breath away. "I think I'm going to go and look for her now." I said as I quickly got up and side-stepped around him toward the door.
"Wait, I'll come with you." He said.
"It's alright. I think I'll manage." I smiled shyly at him.
I started out the door and down the stairs and went into the kitchen, and out of nowhere I see Shelly at the end of the table playing beer pong. She looked over at me and yelled.
"Macy! Come over here and do a celebrity shot."
The whole room now looked over at me waiting expectantly.
"I don't know." I said.
"Come on. Please?" She begged.
Suddenly, the whole crowd erupted yelling "Do it!" and "Come on!"
I gave up and walked toward her as she handed me a ping pong ball.
"I don't even know how to play." I told Shelly.
"Just toss the ball and make it into one of those cups." She said as she pointed on the opposite end of the table.
I aimed as best I could and tossed it and sank it in a cup. Loud cheering erupted all over the kitchen. My face flushed as I smiled.
Shelly then stumbled over and put her arm around my neck.
"Hey, how about we get back home?" I asked as everyone went back to watching the game and talking.
"I just really want to sleep." she replied.
"Alright, where are your keys? I'm going to drive."
She drug me over to the couch and slumped down onto it.
"I don't know. Are they in my pocket?" She looked up at me.
So I dug into her front pocket jeans and sure enough I pulled out her keys.
I put the keys into my pocket and picked her up and pulled her arm around me. As I went to walk out the door, Mike stopped me.
"Hey, you’re leaving already?" he looked down at me with those gorgeous green eyes.
"Yeah, I need to get her home before she passes out on the floor." I said as I laughed.
"Yeah, well it was nice meeting you." he said as he flashed his smile.
"You too." I said bashfully.
I walked out to Shelly's car and out her in the passenger seat. We drove home in silence and as I looked over I realized that she had fallen asleep. We pulled up in her driveway and I glanced down at the dashboard clock as it read 11:49 pm. I got Shelly out of the car and pulled her up the front steps to her house and carried her in her room. I laid her down on her bed and stole one of the cigarettes she had hidden in her underwear drawer.
Normally I don't smoke. I mean, I've taken a few puffs off Shelly's cigarettes but never cared for one much. Whenever I try to tell her to quit, she always tells me it relieves her stress. I climbed out her window and sat on the roof. I lit the cigarette and took a deep puff. It's not so bad I thought. After a couple minutes of smoking It I decided to stub it out. As I was flicking it off the roof, Shelly appeared climbing out of the window.
"Tonight was a good night. Wasn't it?" She asked.
"Yeah. You still drunk?" I replied.
"yeah." She said as we both laughed.
We both climbed back into the bedroom. I changed into some pajamas and climbed in next to Shelly who was already sleeping.
I just couldn't get my mind off of Mike. He was so cute. Not to mention really nice. Those were the last coherent thoughts I had until I fell asleep.
Over the next few days Shelly and I spent our time at the local swimming pool. We would talk, lie about, and gossip. It's almost like we didn’t just spend the last four years of our lives studying.
I never told her about Mike. I didn't want to ruin it when I didn't even know what was going on. I mean I didn't even know if he liked me for sure, and if there were any chances that he did, I wasn't going to jinx it.
"So, truth or dare." She asked me while we were lying out on our chairs.
"Truth." I replied.
"Is it true that you've never been kissed?" Shelly looked over at me with a bored expression on her face.
"I don't know why you asked me this question, you already know the answer. No, it isn't true because I kissed Jeremy Stone in fifth grade." I said while looking up at the sky.
"Fine, your turn." She reluctantly replied.
"Truth or Dare." I asked.
"I think I'm going to go with truth."
I swatted a couple flies away from me and pushed back my bangs that were getting wet due to the sweat beading from my forehead.
"Is It true..." Just as I was going to ask her a question, a bunch of girls came over to us that I recognized from the party.
"Hey, Its Macy and Shelly. What are you guys doing tonight?" A girl with long blonde hair asked.
"We don't know. We haven't really heard of anything going on." Shelly replied.
"Well, there's a party over at Duck Pond tonight. I guess it's a little ways out of town over at this kid Jason's family cabin. It's supposed to be awesome. There's going to be swimming, Fireworks, 2 working kegs, and Tons of people. You guys should totally come." The girl said very enthusiastically.
"Wow, It sounds like fun, I think we'll most likely check it out." Shelly replied back.
"Well, here's my number," she picked up a notebook and pen that was sitting next to Shelly and wrote down her number. "Just call me if you need directions or whatever." The girl said as she handed Shelly the piece of paper.
"Alright, thanks." Shelly said as the group of girls started walking away.
"Well," I said "That was weird and awkward."
"I met her last night. I was playing beer pong with her, remember?" Shelly asked.
"Sure." I said.
"Well, were going. That's for sure. I mean, look at it this way. We actually got invited." Shelly said with confidence.
That was one of those moments, where I was so glad I put make-up on and was wearing my new bathing suit.
"Alright, well, I think we should head over to my house and figure out what we're going to wear." Shelly said as she got up and started picking up her things, and piling them into her bag.
We got back over the Shelly's house and were up in her room and Shelly shuffled through her closet and dresser for things to try on. After what seemed like an hour Shelly had finally picked something out for herself and was now focused on me.
"How good are you at walking in heels?" Shelly asked.
"Why can't I just wear flats or something?" I whined.
"Stop being a baby. Fine, if you want to wear flats your subjected to wearing whatever I give you." She replied with a wicked smile on her face.
After seeing what she picked out for me, it wasn't so bad. It was a blue jean mini skirt with a pink halter top. I was surprised at how good I looked for once.
"Alright, you have to wear these pink flats.” Shelly handed them to me as I put it on.
We both looked in the mirror at each other and for once, you could tell we’re best friends.
“Alright,” Shelly announced. “Lets do this.”
We got to the party a little after ten. It was everything that the girl told us. There were lots of people milling around all over. Outside, there was a nice size bonfire and at least 20 people around it. Me and Shelly stepped inside where there was no space to walk around. We made it to the kitchen where the keg was and Shelly poured me and her a cup. We walked outside and went over to the bonfire. The girl who told us about the party was over there hanging out with a bunch of people. Shelly walked over there with me trailing right behind.
“I’m so glad you made it!” The girl turned and looked at us.
“Yeah, thanks Mariah.” Shelly told her.
“Is that keg beer?” Mariah asked as she scrunched up her nose.
“Yeah, we didn’t bring anything with us.” Shelly said.
“Well, hey, Kate bought me two fifths, so you and Macy can drink mine. Just follow me.” She said as she began walking over to a brand new porche. She opened the trunk and motioned for us to pour out our cups, so we did. She filled it half way with rum, and the other half with Coke. She stuck a straw in it and clapped her hands.
“Whenever you want some just ask me and I’ll come over here and fill them back up.” She said all chipper.
“Alright, thanks so much.” Shelly said.
“Yeah, thanks.” I replied.
“Don’t even worry about it.” Mariah replied.
We all three walked over to the bonfire and I took a sip of my drink and immediately cringed, but kept drinking anyways.
“Hey Macy.” Someone said behind me.
I turned around and saw Mike.
“Hey Mike, what’s up?” I said.
Shelly turned toward us and eyed Mike up and down.
“Hey, this is my best friend Shelly.” I said to him.
Shelly stuck out her hand and replied “Hey, You don’t live in Greenville, do you?” She said smiling.
“Actually, I just moved here. Dylan, the star quarterback is my brother. I’m living with him for the next year until I graduate.” Mike said,
“Wow, that’s so cool.” Shelly said to him still smiling.
“Well, Macy, Shelly, I’ll see you guys around.” He smiled as he started walking away.
“Oh, my gosh. Where the hell have you been hiding him?” Shelly asked as she swatted my arm.
“I met him over at Dylan’s. He was the one who helped me find you.” I said dryly.
“Oh, well, he’s cute.” She said as we both turned toward the fire. “Do you think he likes me?” She asked as she turned toward me grinning.
“I don’t know. Why don’t you just ask him?” I blurted out.
“That’s a great idea.” Shelly said as she finished her drink off, walking toward where Mariah was sitting.
Oh no. Why did I just say that? What if Mike likes her more? Why don’t you just walk over there and tell her how you feel? I thought.
I knew I wouldn’t though.
I chugged the rest of my drink no matter how much it burned going down. I have to tell her. I have to.
I walked over to where Mariah was filling up Shelly’s cup and I politely stuck my cup out as she filled it up and mixed it for me. I immediately started sucking it down when she gave it back to me. I started to feel really good. And all of a sudden I was walking up to everyone in sight and talking to them. Then I looked over and saw Mike standing there and decided to walk over to him.
“hey, your looking happy.” He said.
“I am, I am feeling really happy.” I said smiling from ear to ear.
“That’s good. So, where are you and Shelly sleeping tonight?” he asked.
“I really don’t know. And at this point I’m too happy to even care.” I said laughing.
“Well, Jason has an extra bedroom here. I can sleep on the couch and you two can sleep in there.” He said with that cute half smile.
“Wow, that’s really nice of you.” I replied. “Why did you move here?”
“I was getting into some bad things back home. Decided I needed a change of scene.” He said staring off somewhere.
“Oh hey you guys.” Shelly popped up sipping on her drink and stumbling a little bit.
I looked over and smiled.
“So, Mike found us somewhere to sleep.” I pronounced.
“If It’s anywhere by you, I’m game.” She said slyly toward Mike.
“I’m sorry but I’ll be sleeping on the couch.” He said casually.
“Bummer, would have been fun.” She said.
“Well, I’m going to go play some beer pong. Do you want to come with me Mike?” I asked boldly.
“Sure, maybe we can play on the same team.” He smiled down at me.
Mike and I walked toward the beer pong table with Shelly following behind.
Mike asked one of the guys who had next on the game and he replied back with nobody yet.
“I want to play.” Shelly whined leaning into Mike.
“Well you can play with Macy if you want.” Mike said looking away.
“No, that’s too bad. I was really hoping I could play on your team.” Shelly said batting her eyes.
“well, Mike, If you want you and Shelly can play first then I can play next game?” I said trying not to roll my eyes at Shelly.
“That would be great.” Shelly interrupted.
“Okay, I guess.” Mike replied not looking too happy.
Shelly threw the first cup and missed making it too far over the cups. The team across them sank the first cup and missed the second. Mike was up and sank the cup then Shelly missed.
“So, Macy, do you play any sports?” Mike asked turning his attention to me.
“I don’t. I’m pretty uncoordinated.” I replied back. I glanced over at Shelly and she seemed pretty uninterested in the game now that Mike wasn’t really talking to her.
“hey, Macy.” She said. “Do you just want to take my place? I think I’m going to go find Mariah to have her refill my cup.”
“No problem.” I replied.
Shelly walked away and I walked up to take her place. It was mine and Mike’s turn and we both immediately sunk the cups. A bunch of onlookers came over to watch the game as the winning team across from us began to lose. Every time they sank a cup me and Mike would switch turns drinking the beer. It was so much worse than the drink me and Shelly were getting from Mariah.
After about 20 minutes of playing the game we had at least 30 people crowding around us. People were yelling, screaming, and chanting. I felt as if I was playing basketball for the Celtics and I'm up to make a free throw.
We had one more cup, as did the other team. Finally, me and Mike both took our turns and on the last shot he made it. Everyone started screaming. But the game isn't over yet. If the other team can sink the last two cups then They win. Everyone watched as they were up. They both took there shot and missed each time. Me and Mike turn to face each other and gave a high five.
I lifted up my last remaining cup full of beer and downed it as fast as I could.
I woke up the next morning with my head hurting from and my mouth extremely dry. I rolled over on the bed and started to look around. The room had the fake wood paneling and the blanket I had draped over myself was some kind of fur. I hurriedly pushed it off me and saw Shelly laying next to me in Bed. She rolled over and her eyes opened and blinked a few times.
“Your up.” I said.
“Yea, for the moment.” She rolled back over and stretched.
We both got up and found our shoes and put them on. I walked out in the kitchen and I grabbed a glass full of water and gulped it down. My head hurt so bad and I was so dehydrated. I needed food in my stomach fast too. I went and met shelly out by her car.
“So, that was fun last night.” Shelly said with a smirk.
“Yea, it was.” I said thinking back to Mike and how he had admitted to me last night that he liked me.
“So, that kid you were talking to all night, you like him?” She said with a smile.
“I think so.” I admitted while looking down at the ground smiling.
“Well, I think my stomach might explode if I don’t eat something. I am so hungry.” Shelly laughed.
After me and Shelly stopped by Speed & Shop, our local gas station, to get some nachos and water she dropped me off at home. I went up to my room and laid down on the bed.
I can’t believe how much fun the previous night was. For once I was talking to people and I wasn’t even shy about it. I decided to go and sit out on my roof. I could see Shelly’s house perfectly from my room.
Shelly and I have been friends since before I could remember. One time her mom made cookies for us, and almost burned down the kitchen. She wasn’t exactly the handiest cook, but she was nice and always ordered pizza for us when we asked. All of my best memories are with Shelly. Like the time she asked out Jake Nelson for me and when he said no punched him right in the nose causing her to get suspended. She always had my back.
It is the perfect summer day out. It’s not too hot outside. I started getting antsy sitting on the roof like I was missing out on something. I got up and brushed off my shorts. I climbed back in my room and took a quick shower and changed.
I looked at myself in the mirror and decided a little makeup couldn’t hurt so I brushed on some foundation and put on some eyeliner. It couldn’t hurt to put some mascara on so I did, and when I looked at myself again I could see I was changing. I liked it.
I ran down the stairs and went into the kitchen where my mom was at and she looked over at me.
“What’s the occasion Macy?” My mom asked.
“There isn’t one. I just felt like doing my makeup today.” I glanced at her as I pulled a granola bar out of the cupboard.
“Well, you certainly look very pretty and mature.” She said smiling.
“Thanks mom, I think.” I said glancing away uneasily. “So mom, do you think I can borrow the keys? I really don’t want to sit around all day at the house. I’m thinking about spending an afternoon at the beach.”
“Well, I don’t know. You’ve barely had any real time driving alone since you got your license. Is Shelly going with you?” She asked
“I’m pretty sure.” I laughed a little.
“Well, alright. Don’t stay too late and take your cell phone so I can get a hold of you if I need the car alright?” She said handing over the keys.
“Thanks mom. I’ll see you a little later.” I kissed her cheek and walked out to the car. I pulled out of the driveway and drove over to Shelly’s house around the block.
As I got to the top of her stairs I had a sudden feeling coming over me that maybe she was too busy or would have other plans with Mariah. I quickly pushed the thoughts out of my head as I knocked and her mom called out to come in.
“Hey, is Shelly upstairs?” I asked politely.
“Yea, I think so.” She replied.
I walked up the stairs and opened the door and she was sitting at her desk doing her makeup completely dressed.
“Hey, I got the keys to my moms car. Do you want to come with me cruising or something?” I asked.
“Wow, I can’t believe she actually let you borrow it.” She gaped at me from the mirror.
“Yea, She said when she saw me today that I looked very ‘mature and pretty’ and then handed over the keys. It’s kind of making me nervous.” I said as I laughed.
“Alright, well I have to be home around 8.” She said as she glanced at the clock on her bedside table that read 1:22.
“What’s at 8?” I said as the unsettling feeling came over me again.
“Well, last night I met this guy named Carter. He is really cute.” She said as she turned around in her chair to face me. “We were talking and then started making out, right? Well, he asked for my number so he could see me again and about an hour ago he called and wants to take me to the movies tonight. I guess he can’t get enough of me.” She said laughing.
“Wow” My stomach clenched up. “why didn’t you tell me this morning in the car?”
“Well, I was going to but my head started hurting so bad that it was the only thing I could think about. So, I just wanted to get out of there quick and get some Advil in me.”
“Oh” The feeling went away. “Well that’s cool. I’ll have you back before then.” I smiled. “I’m thinking we can head out to Fort Raine to go shopping and hang out at the beach.”
“Its sounds good to me. Hang on a second while I finish my hair,” She said running her flat iron through her hair.
We left her house and were driving on the now busy streets on Greenville, Georgia. People were blaring their stereos and car horns were honking. Eventually we made our way out of the city and started driving for the east coast. Shelly had taken over my stereo and began playing ‘Just a Dream’ by Nelly. She was singing along and hanging her arm out of the window. As the streets were winding around we began seeing houses set closer together and kids riding their bikes on the sidewalks. The air grew saltier. The boardwalk came into view and I parked the car and me and Shelly got out.
“Today is such a beautiful day out. I just feel so relaxed whenever I come here.” I said looking up at the sky.
“It really is.” Shelly said peacefully.
We began walking down the boardwalk and came into view of Indian Summer. The cutest little boutique that had some of the cutest clothes I have ever seen.
We walked in and a girl behind the counter immediately smiled at us and asked us if there was anything we were looking for specifically. Shelly asked where they kept the there dresses and we went over and looked at them. Shelly picked out a couple things as did I and we both tried them on.
We did this for over an hour and Shelly ended buying a shirt and a pair of shorts. We walked out of Indian Summer and went over to a nearby bench and sat down.
“I am like so hungry.” She said after a few minutes of sitting down and watching people pass by.
“I think there is a restaurant up there somewhere.”
“Well lets go. I feel my stomach indenting.”
We walked up the boardwalk and a few guys were coming down our way. There were three of them and they were our age, maybe a little bit older. When we got ready to pass them one of them stopped smiling and asked “Did it hurt?” I looked at him confused and asked “Did what hurt?”
“When you fell from heaven?” My face blushed immediately and Shelly started laughing so hard that I couldn’t help but join in.
“I’m Ayden, and this Jason and Carson.” The guy with the pickup like said.
Shelly stepped forward and introduced us.
“Where are you headed?” Ayden asked.
“To the restaurant down there.” I replied.
“Well, we were heading up to the beach, maybe we will see you around?” he smiled down at me and I replied “Yea, sure.”
As soon as Shelly and I got far enough away from them Shelly let out a gasp.
“Oh my gosh Macy, How do you have all these hot guys falling all over you all of a sudden? First that cute boy Matt at the …”
“Mike” I corrected her.
“Right Mike at the party and now Ayden? Someone’s becoming a player.” She laughed as we walked into the restaurant.
Me and Shelly ate as I drifted in and out of the conversation. I wasn’t paying much attention but with Shelly, I didn’t really need to. She filled the silences all by herself. After we paid we headed back home. We finally made it back into Greenville and I dropped her off at house. I instantly felt bored. I texted my friend from school and asked her what was going on tonight, she replied back with Dylan’s. My mood lifted as I got into my room to get ready.
I went downstairs and decided to text Shelly to come and pick me up so we could go to Dylan’s house together.
She replied “I’m already here. Meet me here.”
“I can’t get my moms keys. I already had the car all day.”
“Well, I can’t drive. I’ve already been drinking.”
My stomach went into knots. Well since Dylan’s is luckily in the same neighborhood I decided I would just walk. Its only 9 after all. I set out to walk.
By the time I walked up to Dylans house it was a little past 10. I was getting there at prime partying time. When most people were showing up and plenty of people were already drunk. I texted Shelly to meet me outside. I sat down on the front steps to wait for her when I looked back inside and saw Mike talking to Mariah. He was smiling and she was laughing at something he said and touched his arm the way only a girl flirting would do. My stomach turned into knots and Shelly came up out of nowhere.
“Hey, drink this.” She pushed a beer into my hand. I grabbed it and chugged it down.
“Damn girl, Maybe I should get you another one.” She laughed and walked away.
I followed behind her into the house over to a large cooler. She grabbed two beers out of there for me. I opened the other one and chugged it down really fast.
“Woah there, Why don’t you take a break.” Shelly looked at me concerned.
I glared back at her as I opened my third beer. This one I decided I would take it easy and just drink it normally. That proved to be harder than expected. It didn’t go down as easy and when I drank it slowly the beer had a horrible taste. I cringed almost every time I took a drink. I wandered into the kitchen where there was a colossal size of liquor all over the counters. I picked up a pint of rum and dumped it into a cup with some coke. I sipped it. It tasted so much better. I started feeling really good when my vision started moving around. Whenever I tried to focus on somebody or something they were tilting. I decided to go and sit down on the couch and I horridly drank the rest of my cup.
Some guy came up to me and put his arm around me.
“Hey Girl.” He said.
I smiled weakly back and I couldn’t really focus on him.
He hand started moving up and down my arm when I tried to get up and walk away he pulled me back down on the couch.
“It’s okay. I got you.” He grinned slurring his words.
“No, Stop. I want to get up.”
“Its alright. Your just feeling a little sick.” His hand started rubbing my leg.
“No, seriously, Stop. I don’t want you to touch me.” He ignored me.
I tried to push him off of me and move away but his arm had a firm grip on my leg. He wouldn’t let me go.
“Get off of her.” Mike said as he was now standing in front of us.
“Hey man, she likes me. Just leave us alone." he said as he pulled me closer to him.
I looked up at him which was pretty hard to focus on as he yanked me up, ripping me from the grip of the other guy. I looked down at the red mark he made doing so. I glanced back up at him and glared.
“Please, save it for some girl that’s going to fall for the whole heroic act.” I said feeling the ice in my voice.
“What are you talking about? I was helping you out.” He said back confused.
I started walking away and as I got outside I tripped and fell in the front yard. I was so mad and angry that I just fell in front of who knows that tears started running down my face. My face got beat red as I stood up and looked down at my grass stained knees. I decided the best thing right now is to walk back home. I started down the street when I heard someone yelling my name.
“MACY!” they screamed.
I looked back to see Mike running after me. He caught up to me and looked into my eyes. His greens eyes made my heart beat flutter.
“Hey, I can give you a ride. I wasn’t even drinking. I swear.” He said.
“Why should I?” I asked
“Because…You don’t honestly want to walk all the way home.”
“I don’t know.”
“My truck is back there. Come on?” He said giving me his hand.
For once in my life I decided not to think. I stopped my mind and went with my heart. I looked up at his cute half smile and decided to take his hand.
He walked us back to his truck and helped me in it. He got in and turned on a little background music and started up his truck. The roar caught everyone’s attention if just for a moment. We started driving down the empty streets on Greenville. The stars were shining and it was absolutely beautiful outside, but I could barely concentrate with mike sitting so close to me.
I looked over at him and he turned his a little bit and smiled. He asked me where I lived and I told him. When we pulled up out front of my house he turned his truck off and we sat there in silence for a few minutes.
“I am really sorry for saying that tonight. I feel really bad.” I said as I turned away from him.
“Yea, why did you say that?”
“I don’t know. I just felt like you were playing me and I don’t want to be that girl..”
“The girl that gets played and everyone knows it except her.” I said shyly turning to face him again.
“Well, I’m not that kind of guy. I won’t do that to you.” He said grabbing my hand.
My heart beat a little faster looking down and seeing his fingers intertwined with mine.
“I hope so.”
He leaned in and I could smell his cologne. His lips touched mine as he kissed me lightly.
My heart started beating so fast that I swore I would have a heart attack any second. My head started spinning and I just felt everything melting away.
He pulled away and sighed.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“It was exactly how I imagined.” He looked up at me and smiled that amazing half smile.
We both stared into each others eyes and laughed.
“Do you want to come and sit down on the gazebo in the backyard?” I asked.
“Sure.” He said as he turned off his truck.
After that night Mike and I were inseparable. He picked me up to go to parties with him and we even double dated with Shelly and Carter.
Shelly and Carter were official. I saw something in Shelly that I didn’t even know existed. Her eyes, every time I saw her, were glowing with happiness. She laughed at nothing and smiled when every one in the world seemed to be sad. She was this girl that I’ve never met before.
I looked at her through her mirror as she got ready for the day. The life in her eyes was breathtaking.
“So, are we going to go to the beach today?” I asked Shelly.
“Well, I don’t know, because Carter really wanted to take me out to dinner. Do you think we can do it tomorrow?” She turned and smiled at me.
“Yea, That will be cool. Maybe Carter and Mike can come too.” I added.
She looked at me and her face lit up. “That would be great.” She smiled.
“Alright, well I’m going to meet Mike up at his house. I will see you later.”
“Alright, text me.” She turned back to the mirror.
I walked back to my house and on the way Mike passed me and picked me up.
“Hey you.” He smiled at me and kissed me.
“Where are we going today?” I asked.
“I was thinking we could go to Fort Raine today. Have dinner and walk along the beach.” He looked over at me with his beautiful green eyes and smiled.
We drove to Fort Raine and outside of this Pizza Parlor he took my hand and kissed me. I felt an electrical current run through my body. I looked up at him as his eyes slowly opened and a smile played along his lips.
We walked into the Pizza Parlor and ate. Afterwards we started walking along the beach as the sun started to set over the horizon.
“So, whats your favorite board game?” he asked.
“I don’t really like board games but if I had to choose I think it would be Candy Land.” I laughed.
“Really” He said deep in thought.
“Hey, are we going to see the fireworks Tuesday? After all, the fourth of July only comes once.” I stared over the vast ocean ahead of me.
“Well, I guess we could. The only thing is Dylan’s dad, my uncle, is throwing this little cook-out. Would you like to come for a little bit? It might be a little weird, though.”
“I don’t mind. I would love to come.” I smiled and we both sat down on the sand and watched the sun slowly sink over the horizon.
I woke up that Tuesday morning with great expectations. I got ready and decided to wear a pair of Capri’s and a halter top. I curled my hair and put on a little bit of make-up.
I Drover over to Mike’s and he was there on the front porch waiting for me. He waved and walked over to me. I could see in the backyard there was a lot of people milling around.
“Hey, are you sure you want to enter? I think everyone is pretty much drunk or tipsy.” He laughed.
“I think I’ll survive.” I said.
“Alright, well let’s go.” He grabbed my hand.
We walked out into the backyard and Mike waved at Dylan who had some girl I remember from the grade under me hanging all over him. He guided me over to a guy with a button up shirt on and khaki shorts handling the grill.
“Hey Don, this is Macy.” I smiled at him and shook his hand.
“Where did you find this one? Do you go to school with Dylan?” Don asked.
“Yea, we had a few classes together in ninth grade.”
“Did you get held back or something?” he laughed.
“Actually, no, I started taking AP classes in tenth grade.” I said.
Disinterested in what I was saying he asked “Been to any of the football games to see him play?”
“I’m not really one for sports. I went to one game but to be honest, I had no idea what was going on.” I said forcing a smile.
“Oh,” he said “Well, where did you meet Mike at?”
“I met him at…” I caught Mike out of the corner of my eye shaking his head, eyes wide. Don, noticing that something was going on turned to look at Mike but He stopped in time. “I met him at a friend’s bonfire.”
“Oh, well it was nice to meet you.” He turned his attention back to the grill.
Me and Mike walked over to the patio and sat down at a picnic table.
“Sorry, he can be a bit overwhelming.” He said as he wrapped his arm around me.
“It’s okay. So, what exactly happened that you moved here?” I asked.
“It’s kind of a long story.” He said looking away from me.
“It’s fine, I think we have time.”
“Well, it all began when I met this kid in school. He was a drug dealer and told me he could get me fast cash. At that time I was so ready to move out of my dad’s house. He was prone to random freak outs and we fought all the time.” He paused for a second to make sure I was still listening. “Well, he told me he knew this guy who could give me a job but I had to talk to him first. When I met him he told me he needed a guy to boost cars for parts. And I told him that I could do that because I knew how to hot-wire.”
“Wait, what does boosting a car mean?” I asked confused.
“It means steal.” He chuckled a bit before starting back up.
“Where did you learn how to hot-wire a car?”
“I learned from this other kid I knew from school.”
“Gee, where did you go to school at?” I asked mortified.
“I went to Whittier High School. Anyways, it started out fine the first couple of weeks. I was making a lot of money from this guy. I boosted around 25 cars. It became almost like an addiction. I was always thinking about how much faster I could be and what car I was going to boost next. I would set a quota for myself, each one more intense than the last, until I ran into the cops. The picked me up trying to unlock this red cavalier until an alarm went off. I got so big headed that I didn’t even bother check if there was an alarm. Next thing I knew, I was cornered.
“They picked me up and put me in the holding cell and called my dad. He kicked me out and I called my uncle. He didn’t even want me to live here. He said I would be a bad influence on Dylan’s football career, and that having me here would take his eye off the prize. If that even makes sense.” He said laughing a little bit.
“I’m glad you told me this.” I said squeezing his hand.
“Yea, Its pretty easy to talk to you. Usually I have my guard up with everyone.” He said smiling.
We walked around and talked to a few people and ate and listened to music. It was a nice Forth of July with the sun beating down.
“Well, the fireworks are going to start in about an hour or and hour and a half. Where do you want to watch them at?” Mike asked me.
“I think we should go to Fort Raine. The beach and the ocean is so beautiful over there. I think it will be perfect.”
“Alright, well I’ll follow you over to your house so you can drop off your moms car and then we can head out there. How does that sound?”
“It sounds great.”
I drove back home and, just as he said, he followed behind me. I dropped the keys off inside and put them on the hook and went outside. I saw him sitting in his truck and I couldn’t help but feel so lucky. He turned toward me and the sun was setting in the background blanketing him in a warm orange glow. Excitement overwhelmed me as I felt so in love.
“You are looking very beautiful today.” He said as I climbed up in his truck.
“Thank you. You always know how to make my day.”
We headed out to Fort Raine. As we started entering the city limits their were cars everywhere. Along the shore fires dotted the horizon. Families milled around with bored disaffected teens trailing behind. We parked the truck and followed the crowds of people up towards the beach. We sat down and watched as the sun sunk into the ocean.
After waiting and watching the stars appear overhead dotting the sky, the fireworks finally started. The splashes of color stretched over the boardwalk and beach. The bang had people cheering from all over. The beaches were packed with couples leaning into each other and families. Some were roasting marshmallows over the fire and some were lighting off their own sparklers. Someone had a radio nearby blasting the star spangled banner.
We stayed sitting on the beach watching the art work being painted into the sky for a while. I was sitting between his legs leaning back into him. He ran his fingers up and down my arm giving me goose bumps. I looked up into Mike’s eyes as the colors blue and red reflected off his face. He looked down at me and kissed me. I felt my heart stop and excitement run straight through me.
The fireworks ended with a loud continuous bang and colors. We got up from the sand and walked back to the truck. The traffic was so bad. Horns were being honked and people were walking everywhere. We finally got out of the city limits and back to my house. Me and Mike sat in front for a long time kissing when I finally told him goodbye and walked back up to my house so happily in love.
I woke up the next morning feeling so happy. I bounced downstairs and grabbed a granola bar and walked out in the backyard to sit in the gazebo. I don’t now how long I was sitting there but all of a sudden Shelly came back there and looked at me.
“Hey, Do you want to go to the beach a little later? I think I need some girl time.” As she said that her phone vibrated indicating she got a text. She read it than immediately started texting back.
“Who’s that?” I asked.
“Carter wants to go to the movies tonight but I told him I haven’t hung out with you in a while so I decided today would be all ours. I told him this earlier this morning, I don’t know why he is still persisting to go.” She shrugged.
“Well, that’s fine with me. I’d love to have a nice girl day out.” I said.
“Alright, well you have to go and get ready.” She smiled at me.
At one point in my life I would have wondered what was wrong with what I was wearing but I now understood there was so much more than putting on a bathing suit.
I got ready and packed up a bag full of things to do while we were there. I looked into the mirror and slapped a bit of make up on. I stood back and when I decided I looked good enough to be seen by the public I walked downstairs to where Shelly was waiting for me. We walked out to her car and rode to the beach over in Fort Raine.
We were laying on our backs listening to the waves come in and go out when all of a sudden a Volleyball smacked me in the foot. I looked down perplexed when I saw Ayden (The Funny Pick-up Line Guy) standing over me, blocking my sun.
His smile was pure white.
“Hey there, I haven’t seen you in a while.” He said.
Shelly then opened her eyes at him and they both made eye contact for a second before he turned back to me.
“Yea, well, I was here for the fire works.” I said.
“Really? I was too but I didn’t see you around anywhere. But then again, it was pretty busy.”
He stayed standing there for an awkward second before he looked over at his friends who were waving there arms around wildly.
“Hey, what’s you number? I think it would be cool if we hung out.” He said as he handed me his phone.
I put my number in his phone and then he was back running over to his friends.
“Why did you do that?” Shelly asked me.
“Do what? I didn’t do anything wrong.” I looked at her confused.
“I see the way Mike looks at you and a guy only looks at you that way if he’s head over heels in love, and here you are over here giving away your number. You could have just asked for his instead and never called him.” She said.
“Now he’s going to call you. What if he calls you while your with Mike?” She finished.
“Well, I mean, I didn’t think of it as that big of a deal.” Her eyes glared at me.
“How would you feel if you knew Mike was giving out his number to other girls?” As she said that I winced.
“Yea, you wouldn’t like it very much would you?” She said as she laid back down shoving her headphones in her ears and turning up her music.
I watched her as she laid down with her eyes closed and her headphones up full blast blocking out the world. I was instantly angry but I knew she was right. I laid back down and soon me and Shelly were headed back to Greenville.
She dropped me off and I went inside and laid down on my bed. I kept thinking about what Shelly said. It replayed itself in my head over and over like a movie. I knew I shouldn’t think too much into but I did. I finally fell asleep.
I woke with a knock on my door. I looked out my window to see the sky so dark. I was still looking out the window when I said “Come in.”
Mike walked into the room and my mood immediately lifted when I saw his smile.
“Hey beautiful, how was the girls day out?” He asked.
I stared up into his eyes and then everything fro today came rushing back. I felt guilty because after I thought about it I realized that it was in fact, wrong.
My face must have twisted because he sat down beside me and asked “What’s wrong Macy?”
I just looked back up at him.
“Nothing, It’s just been a long day. I’m still so incredibly tired.” I smiled weakly.
“Well, why don’t we go out? We haven’t been to a party together in like 2 weeks.”
“I don’t know, I really haven’t felt like drinking much lately.”
“We don’t have to drink. We can go just to see people and socialize like we used to.”
“You act like it was such a long time ago.” I said grabbing his hand and intertwining with my own.
“Well, It feels like it.” He looked at me and smirked.
“Alright, fine. Where are we going anyways?” I asked as I stared at our hands together.
“I guess Janis Reid is having one tonight.”
I looked up at him quickly and asked “who’s that?”
“Oh, don’t worry. I don’t really know her. I only met her once when she was over for one of Dylan’s bashers.” He said smirking at me a bit, and then added. “Why are you jealous?”
I threw my head back and in mock laughter added “No. Why, should I be?”
“No, now get ready. We’re going to have fun tonight.” He said as he patted my hand. He leaned in a kissed me. It was just like all the other ones. Breathtaking and tasted great.
As we walked into the house I was immediately ambushed by Shelly. She was clearly drunk slurring about how there wasn’t any toilet paper in the bathroom and handed me a drink. I gave it back to her.
I looked over at Mike talking to Dylan and a couple people.
“Me and Mike aren’t drinking tonight.” I gave her my best ‘I’m sorry’ face.
“Boo. Well at least cme withme to getta dring.” She slurred as she pulled me toward the kitchen. As soon as I entered a bunch of people started shouting for me to do a celebrity shot at the beer pong table. “I’m not drinking tonight. Sorry guys.” I said brushing past them where there was a counter top cluttered of liquor bottles. I wasn’t surprised when I heard something crunching beneath my feet only to find I was walking on broken glass from some of the bottles falling and shattering. I poured Shelly a drink because just looking at her wobbling I knew she wasn’t capable of doing it herself.
I finally got back out to the living room scanning the room for Mike when I saw him talking to a girl with a beer in his hand. Instantly my face felt hot and I was pissed. I walked over there putting my best happy face on that I could manage.
“Oh, hey Macy. Janis, this is Macy, my girlfriend.” He said smiling at her.
She looked me over, rolled her eyes, and then leaned into Mike and whispered, loud enough for me to hear, “Just let me know when you need a refill. You know where to find me.”
She then looked over at me smiled, without using her eyes, and walked away slightly shoving me in the shoulder.
“Can I talk to you in private?” I said as I looked back at him with this big goofy grin on his face.
“Alright, where?” he said looking around.
“Lets try outside.” I said in the best voice I had.
He followed me out by the road where we were almost alone because of a chill outside. He burred and then waited for me to begin while taking a sip of his beer.
“I thought we weren’t drinking tonight.” I said smiling while mashing my teeth.
“Well, she handed me a beer and I didn’t want to be rude so I took it.” He smiled earnestly at me.
“Well, who’s driving home tonight?” I asked taking my pathetic smile off of my face.
“I will. I won’t drink another beer after this one.” He said.
I took a couple breaths and then finally let it out.
“Alright. Well, Shelly is really mad at me for not drinking with her so I think I’ll have a couple drinks with her tonight.”
We both turned our attention back to the house and through the window Shelly was inside the living room grinding up on two girls laughing.
“She doesn’t look mad.” He said squinting back at me.
“Well, That’s how shelly works. She pretends she’s not mad and then the next day she lets you have it.” I said as I thought about how bad I was lying.
“Alright, fine.” He said slowly then leaned in for a kiss. Then he added “Well, I’m going to go back inside. It’s freezing out here for some reason.”
We both walked back into the house and I went over to the kitchen and poured myself a drink. I sucked it down even though it burned. I thought, This can be a lot worse. I poured myself a second one and gulped every last bit down.
After gulping down the last drink I started to waver and couldn’t control my slurring. The radio was playing a techno song so I went over into the kitchen and started dancing on Shelly who was way drunker than I was. Shelly pulled me over to the side and pulled out a plastic bag full of some kind of green plant. I looked at her confused and asked her “What the hell is that?”
“Don’t be such a priss. It’s just weed.” She smirked at me.
“Where did you get that from?”
“Oh my goodness. If I knew you’d flip out about it I wouldn’t have showed you. I thought you might want to try it with me.”
“Alright.” I said and took the cigarette that was dangling between her two fingers out of her hands and took a deep drag of it.
“Now, that’s what I’m talking about.” She said laughing.
I looked over to where Mike was standing by the door and he just stared at me slack jawed at me as I took a second hit of the cigarette. I was so not in the mood.
I asked Shelly for a cigarette for myself and walked outside with it. I lit it up and started smoking it. The cold was really biting at me. Mike came up behind me and grabbed me. I looked up at him even though it was hard to focus on him.
“What are you doing?” he asked with a look on his face that just meant he was mad.
“I don’t know. Maybe I’m crazy. Maybe I’m just really pissed off.” I looked up at him.
“This isn’t the Macy I met. The Macy I met in the beginning of the summer wouldn’t pick up a habit like that. The Macy I knew wouldn’t lie to me so she can get drunk. Do you honestly think I believed that whole ‘Shelly’s already mad at me’ line? I saw right through it, but I thought, hey, so she wants to get drunk. Sometimes I feel like that too. But when I saw Shelly pull out the weed in there and hear you agree to smoke it with her. I feel like your not even close to the person who I fell in love with. You’re this product of Shelly. Like she rolled you up and made you like this. I don’t even know what to do.” he said shaking his head looking at the ground.
“You fell in love with me?” I asked softly.
“Isn’t it obvious? Even though Shelly hit on me I paid no attention to her. Nor any other girl. You are the only one I care about. And if you can’t grasp that then I don’t think we need to be together. I want the other Macy back.
“I still remember when we first met. You were sitting on the couch with all these guys staring at you. I wanted to know what was so important and then I saw. You were looking around the room and I wondered if it was the girl that was on the couch earlier so I bullshitted. And then I went to clear my head and you were there too.
“I think we need a break.” Mike said
“I don’t think we need a break.” I said with tears welling up in my heart.
“At this point I think it will be the best thing for us. I mean, I get how you want to try crap like that. I was there too and right now I think you just need to get this out of your system before we can be together. I’m sorry Macy.” He looked pained.
“It won’t help. Let’s just not do this. I don’t want to break up. I don’t!” I started yelling.
“Macy, were not breaking up. It’s just a break. After a week I’ll come over and we can figure out what’s going to be our future. Alright?” he said as he held my face in his palms.
The tears started streaming down my face and I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach.
It will be okay I thought. It was a mantra in my head as he walked back inside to the house and disappeared out of sight from me. Everything will be okay.
I decided It would be the best thing right now if I just walked home. I started and the wind was blowing my hair in all directions. The tears wouldn’t stop falling from my eyes as my hair started sticking to my cheeks.
When I got home about an hour later I collapsed in my bed crying myself to sleep.
The next morning I woke up and jumped into the shower. When I went downstairs I realized that nobody was home. I made myself breakfast and decided to go and sit out on the gazebo in the back. Shelly walked up and sat down next to me.
“Where were you last night? You disappeared again.” She looked at my red ringed eyes and then added “Is everything okay?”
I tilted my head towards her and said “No, everything isn’t alright. When Mike saw me smoking that cigarette yesterday he said we needed a break so I can get all of this crap out of my system.”
“Oh, no. Everything will be okay Macy. I promise.” She said concerned.
“I know. Thanks though.” I weakly smiled at her.
After a few minutes of sitting in the quiet Shelly then asked “Does this mean you don’t want to smoke that weed with me?”
I looked at her and said “I don’t know. Don’t make fun of me but I’m scared to smoke it. Just the idea of it gives me a heart attack.”
“Where are your parents at?” She asked.
“My mom went to her friends house and my dad is at work.” I said as I looked at her.
“Well, how long do you think your mom will be gone?” She asked.
“I don’t know? Usually she stays there all afternoon. Why?” I asked suspicious.
At that second Shelly pulled out the same plastic bag now with a joint in it. She pulled the joint out and lit it up.
“What are you doing?” I said looking around nervously.
“I’m enjoying my teen years. Do you want a hit?” She nudged the joint at me and I looked around again and took it between my fingers. My heart started pounding as I took a hit of it. Automatically I started coughing profusely. It felt like I would never stop and then Shelly gave my back a hard slap and It stopped like magic.
“Thanks.” I said as I looked at her.
“Here, try one more hit.” She handed it to me.
I took a hit this time and didn’t cough.
“Just hold it in for a few seconds.” She said taking another hit of it.
I finally blew it out and Shelly handed it back to me again. I took another hit this time holding it in longer. Finally Shelly stubbed it out and put it back in the bag that went back in her pocket.
We sat there for a few minutes when all of a sudden it rolled on me like a haze. I looked at Shelly and She was just sitting there quiet looking at her fingernails.
“You’re acting oddly cavalier. Have you smoked weed before?” I asked as the words coming out of my mouth sounded different.
“A few times.” She looked up at me.
“What? When?” Shocked I asked.
“I don’t know? With Mariah, and Carter a couple times.”
“So, you smoked weed for the first time this summer too?” I looked at her.
“Yea.” She said and started laughing. “I hate relationships.” She added.
I looked at her confused, “Why?” I asked.
“I didn’t tell you, did I?” She looked up from her finger nails and blinked at me a couple times.
“No.” I said as I looked at her tilting my head to the side.
“Carter cheated on me.” She paused. “He wasn’t who I thought he was.” She continued.
My eyes opened up wider than normal. I looked at her shocked. “With who?”
“I don’t know. I guess it was some girl from the Community College. He was dating her before we hooked up. What’s crazy is, He never stopped seeing her while he was with me.”
“Oh my gosh, I am so sorry. You know, we don’t need men.” I looked over at her as she was staring at her nails with her brow furrowed.
She looked at me with a little half smile and replied “You know, Your right. Fuck men. Who needs them anyways? All they do for us is just screw us over and quite frankly I am way over it.” She looked back at her nails.
We sat there for a while before Shelly got up and looked at me really serious.
“Dude…we need some fritos, like stat.”
I started laughing uncontrollably and the next thing I knew Shelly had joined in with me. We were both bent over holding our stomachs laughing so hard.
I sat down to regain my breath when all of a sudden I just felt so emotional that my face got beat red and I started crying. Tears were flowing down my face and every time I wiped them away more streamed down my face staining my cheeks. Macy came and sat down next to me in the grass and whispered in my ear “Its going to be alright” and “No guys worth the tears”.
I looked at her. “You don’t understand. I really loved him. I believe it.” I looked out in the yard and stared up in the sky. I whispered “I still believe it.”
Shelly looked at me and said “If you love him than what are you doing? I didn’t love Carter, that’s why its so easy to let him go. When you find someone like that Macy, you don’t let them go. You have to go and get him. Alright? If not for yourself then do it for me. Love didn’t work out for me.”
I looked at her eyes and realized that she was completely right. I missed Mike but I didn’t want to admit it for myself. I needed to find Mike and tell him the truth. I got up and started walking towards the house when I realized that I was really high.
Looking around I decided I was also extremely tired. The crying physically wore me out.
As I walked inside the house I sat down on the couch and Shelly sat down next to me. I put on a movie and the next thing I knew I was sleeping.
A little over an hour later I woke up startled when I heard the garage door closing. I looked around and Shelly wasn’t with me. I remembered smoking weed with Shelly and I ran upstairs to my room. I shut and locked the door then ran over to my nightstand and grabbed my perfume and started spraying myself. I finally started coughing from the fumes and walked out of my room. I slowly walked downstairs and into the kitchen where my mother was walking in with her arms loaded up with plastic bags.
“Macy, I need you to go and bring in the rest of the groceries.” I nodded my head and walked by my mother when she started coughing and said “Oh my gosh Macy, did you use all of your perfume up just now? I can barely breathe in here.”
My heart started thumping thinking that maybe she knew about the pot. “No mom,” I said quickly trying to think of an alibi. “Shelly sprayed me with guys perfume earlier as a joke and I was just trying to get the smell off of me.” She looked at me then waved me off.
I walked outside and started grabbing all of the groceries out of the trunk and when I turned around shelly was standing right behind me. I let out a little yelp. “Oh my gosh Shelly. Where did you go anyways?” Shelly looked down at her hands holding a big bag of Fritos chips. I laughed “Are you still high?” she looked at me then said “No, I just got really hungry and that movie you put on was all about food. So, I went home to get some.”
I looked at the fritos bag and realized my stomach was growling. Shelly grabbed the rest of the groceries and we went into the kitchen where my mother was putting the food away. Shelly and I sat the food on the table and walked out of the sliding glass doors that led to the back yard. We sat on the grass and Shelly opened the bag of chips and for a few moments we sat there just eating them.
“I need to find Mike.” I finally broke the silence.
Shelly looked at me then said “Are you sure you want to do this?” looking at me concerned. I let out a sigh and said “Absolutely.”
We sat there some more just munching on the chips and then Shelly started talking about Carter. “You know, I had sex with him.” I looked at her wit my jaw dropped. “When?” I asked. “We went out to the movies about a month ago. I didn’t want to tell you because I though you would be mad at me.” I laughed. “I couldn’t get mad at you for that.” I said.
A few days went by as I sat around the house refusing to go anywhere. Shelly tried to get me out to a few parties but I told her that I’m taking me time.
My mother even intervened and asked if I wanted to go out to dinner with my mother and father. That sounded as appealing as letting monkeys throw poop at me.
I knew I had to do something about Mike. I missed him so much. I missed that straight perfect grin he always had. I missed the way his hand felt intertwined in mine. I missed the way he knew when something was wrong.
The best way to go about this is call him. I picked up the phone and dialed the numbers to his cell. As soon as I heard the first ring I chickened out and hung up right away. Stay Focused I thought. You can do this. I picked the phone back up and pressed re-dial. This time I let the phone ring. After about 3 rings I was going to hang up when I heard “Hey.” My throat went dry and I found it hard to breathe with my stomach up in my heart. I managed a cackled “Hi.”
“How have you been Macy?” Mike’s familiar voice came right through the phone, melting my heart.
“Good.” I sat there and then added “I miss you.”
“I miss you too.” He said.
After a few moments of silence I asked “Do you think you can come over? I want to talk.”
The line went silent when all of a sudden I heard “Yea, sure.”
My stomach went back to normal, but now my heart was racing at the thought of seeing Mike again. I hurriedly said “Alright, I’ll see you when you get here.”
“Alright. Bye Macy.” He said, his voice soothing my entire soul.
I hung up and ran into my room. I sat down at the bed thinking about what I was going to say to him. I thought about everything I prepared in my head. A silent speech but when I looked out the window and saw Mike pull up I forgot everything I rehearsed. I started walking out to the hall when I caught a glimpse of myself in my vanity mirror. My hair was a mess. I guess that’s what happened when you didn’t care for a couple days.
I raked a comb through my hair holding back the screams. I pulled it up into a pony-tail to get out of my way. I finally finished and heard the door bell ring. Thank god nobodys home I thought.
I finally reached the door and pulled it open. Mike was looking amazing as always. He was standing there with a somber look on his face.
“Do you want to come in?” I asked.
“Yea.” Mike said as he stepped into the foyer.
I led Mike over to the living room where he sat on the couch and I sat down on love seat directly across.
Mike looked around the room for a moment as if the room was more interesting than I was.
“So.” I said breaking his concentration.
“So.” He said back less enthusiastic.
“I just wanted to say that I’m so sorry about that night.” I said looking down at my hands.
Mike looked at me long and hard before finally saying “I accept.”
We both just sat there for a moment when he said “So, is that the only reason why you wanted me to come over? If it is then I think I got it and I should probably…”
“Wait.” I said interrupting him as he was standing up. “Mike, I don’t want to lose you.” I sat there looking at him waiting for a response. He stayed exactly where he was waiting for me to continue.
“I realized that I would rather die than live a life without you. You make me so happy. Just being around you brightens up my day.” I finished.
“Macy, I don’t want to continue our relationship if your going to continue to go crazy. The partying, I can handle. Not everything else. I don’t want to watch you while your smoking a cigarette or weed. I don’t want to worry about you like that.” He said.
“I know, and I’m not doing that anymore.” I sighed. “I’ve been trying so hard to be someone that I’m not. I thought that people, you, would like me better if I was someone different.” I looked up and met his eyes. “ I know, it sounds stupid, but I honestly thought If I changed that I would be more popular. I know now that popular isn’t what I want if I have to change to be that.”
Mike looked at me for a long time and I couldn’t help but feel so overwhelmed. Tears started staining my cheeks. At first, Mike’s breathing was all I could hear until I started whimpering so loud that everything else droned out.
Mike got up from where he was sitting and came and sat down next to me. He put his arm around me and rubbed my back as the tears were coming and I couldn’t stop them.
We sat there for a long time with Mike trying to soothe me. After what felt like an hour my breathing slowed and the tears finally stopped. I was able to regain myself. Mike took my chin in his hands and made me look at him.
“I love you.” He said and then he was kissing me. His kisses tasted like mouthwash. Clean and fresh. It was what I loved most about him. He always smelled clean.
“I love you too.” I said when I came up for air.
“You know, if you show your sensitive side more often, we can really make this work.” He laughed.
I looked down at my hands when Mike asked “What’s wrong? Did I say something wrong?”
I looked up at his beautiful sympathetic smile. He looked so good and I knew that I was so lucky to be with him.
“Macy, come on or we’re going to be late for the fireworks.” Shelly yelled from downstairs.
“Hold on a second.” I yelled back taking a couple more minutes to fix my hair and make-up.
Labor day came so quick. It seemed like just yesterday Shelly and I were going to our first party together.
I walked downstairs in my cotton sundress and minimal make-up. I met Shelly outside and she was looking good as always under her new beau’s arm.
“Looking good Mace.” Shelly said smiling.
“You too.” I said smiling at her. “So, I guess we’re going to meet Mike there at the beach. So, are you guys ready to go?” I looked at Shelly as she was kissing John, her boyfriend,
“Hello,” I snapped my fingers laughing when Shelly finally pulled away from him.
“Shall we?” shelly laughed.
“We shall.” I said walking over to my mother’s car.
We all piled in and endured the ride to Fort Raine. We finally pulled up and there were people everywhere as usual. Shelly spotted a parking spot off a little ways from the main street.
I texted Mike saying that we were here and he texted me back saying he was on the board walk.
Finally we got to the board walk and I bumped into Ayden.
“Hey.” He said smiling big down at me.
“Hey, haven’t seen you in a while.” I said.
I saw Shelly out of the corner of my eye give me a look and then walk away with john.
“Yea, So who are you here with? If it’s nobody too important maybe you can come and hang out with us?” he said,
“Actually,” I said giggling “I’m here with my boyfriend.” I gave him a sympathetic smile.
“It’s alright. I get it. Have fun.” He said as he patted my shoulder before walking into the crowd of people.
Mike came and walked up to me out of nowhere saying “Who was that? Should I be worried?”
I laughed at this and then said “No, I met him in the beginning of the summer. Just a friend.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck and then he leaned down and kissed me. It felt like the first time kissing. The whole world was drowned out and all I could think about was how great this felt.
This is exactly where I wanted to be at this exact moment. In his arms, knowing that he would keep me safe.
I leaned down as the sun crept completely out of the sky. “I love you.” He whispered.
“I love you too.” I said just as the first bang of the fireworks started. He grabbed hold of my hand and led me down to the beach where we found Shelly and John holding each other on a blanket. Mike and I sat next to him and watched as the different colors splashed the sky illuminated the beach. Red, white, green, as they popped into the sky.
In the beginning of the summer, I thought all I wanted was to be a normal teenager. What I didn’t realize is that there isn’t a set way you have to act or things that you had to say. You are, who you are. You have friends who shape you and choices you make that are all your own. People will influence you all the time but you need to decide whether you want those influences to make who you are.
I finally found myself through all the gossip, girls who didn’t accept me, the beer, the arguments, and the love. You never realize that you’ve lost yourself until you find yourself for the first time. For me, it only took one summer.