Heart Beats! | Teen Ink

Heart Beats!

October 6, 2013
By TomorrowsSeeker BRONZE, Bugae City, Other
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TomorrowsSeeker BRONZE, Bugae City, Other
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Favorite Quote:
“That's the thing about pain," Augustus said, and then glanced back at me. "It demands to be felt”
― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

“My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations.”
― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

“Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book.”
― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars


Entry #153
-August 18, 2012 (Friday)-

Life—it's a funny and sad thing to think about when you don't remember your parent's faces, childhood friends, old toys and stuff. Having amnesia feels like you just popped into the middle of your life. No past at all—maybe no future too.
I only remembered me being in the hospital recovery room, being sent to my grandparents, who I also don't remember and continuing life as if nothing happened. But I remembered a name: Eric. It's the first thing I thought of when I woke up. It's as if it's MY name. But my birth certificate said my name is Jonathan Kace.
After the day I lost my memories, my life went on a dull and tiring rhythm of colorless days - wake up, school, go home, sleep, wake up, school, go home and sleep. After that day, I viewed my life as a black and white film with no audience. I hated it so bad.
Of course, I continued to hope for something to happen, hope for a day that something could change my life.
I never knew that day would start sooner than expected.
It all started at a normal rainy day down at San Francisco.

_____

Chapter 1


"Hey, Jonathan," voice snapped me back to reality. I looked and saw my friend looking at me weird. His name was Chester by the way. "Dude, can you quit spacing out? It's getting annoying," he said, crossing his arms. "So, now let's get on this brilliant plan of mine again..."
There he goes again, I thought. Discussing another 'brilliant' plan with me.
For a moment, the world was only extended to where I stood and Chester. It expanded and I recognized where I am - in the men's bathroom.
I had amnesia, and it sometimes make me oblivious to my surroundings. I remembered why I was here, what time it is and what we're doing here again - to prank a teacher. Well, technically, I don't do the pranking - Chester does. I'm only support when he gets caught (it's true). I'm not the delinquent kind.
"So, we'll fill these balloons with ketchup and throw it at Ms. Grayson from the balcony when she's going out of the school." he waved a plastic bag full of balloons in front of me.
I raised my hand in front of him. "How do you suppose we get the ketchup?"
"From your house, man!"
I sighed and said, "Not again. Why don't you get it from the cafeteria or something?"
Chester was always like this since we met at 1st year middle school. He's 16 and I'm 17 so I guess he still hasn't reached that stage where you need to hype your life a little and take it smooth. He's always energetic and has a good sense of humor. He has this weird hairstyle that he always wears that came from a "cool anime character." Don't worry - It's not Goku.
"Nah, I don't want to be caught." he laughed. "There's nothing wrong with this plan."
"Everything is wrong with this plan," I firmly stated. "I mean c'mon, we stayed inside the men's bathroom until every student in school left and it's almost 6:30 PM."
"So? What's the big deal about it?" he gave me the "un-amused" Chester look.
"In short, my grandparents would be worried."
"Nah, they won't be if you went by your house, got some ketchup then told them that you'll be going to a teen conference or you're gonna' walk someone's poodle—" he winked.
"I'll go sneak some at the cafeteria," I cut him.
"Excellent! Go to the roof with 3 ketchup bottles okay?"
I nodded. Why do I always do this stuff? I don't remember when or why I started helping Chester with his "plans to make the world a better place" which mostly involved with "teaching" our teachers an important lesson about not putting Chester in detention for the rest of his life. Honestly, I think Chester might end up in juvenile hall before I know it. Maybe I might too.
Chester started opening the plastic bags full of balloons as I silently went out of the bathroom to the hall. No one seemed to be here. The janitors finish clean up at 6 so I guess they're already done. I darted along the sides of the hallway where unlocked doors stood (just in-case).
I finally got into the cafeteria without being seen by anyone (if anyone was still in the school). I quickly went to the cook's storage room - which was as big as a tool room - and carefully examined boxes - which contains various ingredients from applesauce to limes. My eyes stopped on an opened box labeled "Fine Ketchup" and I opened it. There were a dozen or more bottles of ketchup in it. I grabbed three and closed the room. The kitchen ladies won't notice it. I hope.
I opened the cafeteria door and peeked if anyone was outside. There was none. Not a sound or a distant sound of a soul.
Right in front of the cafeteria entrance was a fire escape, where I would use to go up the rooftop. I pushed it open and started climbing stairs.
It took me awhile since the school is 4 stories high and I started from the first floor.
I panted as I got to the roof door. I clasped my hands on the door bar and caught my breath for a bit. Pushing it, the door opened and I saw the orange-pink sky. Wind howled through the place like a lone wolf.
The rooftop is where most students hangout after school even though it's forbidden to go up here. There were no rails or net walls on the roof's sides so I guess someone can pretty much fall to their death from here. Exhaust fans and other stuff were laid on this place.
Except for me, the roof was deserted. I guess Chester's not here yet. I took a deep breath then I sat against the wall next to the door and laid a ketchup bottle beside me without looking.
Something cold touched my hands then took the bottle from me. Someone's beside me.
"Uhm...thank you," A girl's voice softly told me.
I slowly looked and saw a weird sight. It was a girl, eating a sandwich. She had long light brown hair and a yellow headband. She was wearing typical clothes - a long-sleeve t-shirt and Converse. You get the picture. She also had surprisingly light brown eyes like her hair. She was about as high as my chest, which was estimation, and she doesn't look relaxed sitting beside me.
She wasn't looking at me now as if I didn't exist. She opened her sandwich and squeezed some ketchup on it. She closed it again and placed it against her lips. Who is this girl and what is she doing eating up here?
“I'm sorry, is lunch over now?" she asked me when she saw me staring at her.
I blinked a few times and gathered myself. "Lunch ended..." I checked my watch. "Six and a half hours ago."
"Six?" she frowned. "I was off that long?" the girl looked at her half-eaten sandwich and she exhaled deeply.
"What do you mean off?" I asked. Okay, that was probably a stupid thing to ask since 1) I have no idea who this girl is and 2) I haven't seen her before and 3) as far as I know that's not how you greet people when you first meet them.
"Well I...um." she shifted on her place. That's one awkward girl. "How can I explain this..." she kept talking in a soft and low voice that I had to lean in a bit.
Before she can explain what she wants to explain, the emergency door opened and in came Chester as fast and loud as a jaguar.
I don't know why, but the moment Chester came in, the girl next to me suddenly stiffened, closed her eyes then she slumped against the wall. Luckily, her sandwich just landed on her hip, and unluckily, now she has ketchup on her jeans. Great, Chester, now you might've gave someone a deadly heart attack by just entering a door.
"Hiya, Jonathan, got the ketchup bottles?" he grinned down on me since I'm still sitting down. Can't he see he might've just killed someone?
I ignored him. "Hey, are you alright?" I tried shaking the girl. She wasn't responding. I checked her pulse and she was definitely alive. What is she doing then? Sleeping? Ha, ridiculous. No one can sleep that fast.
"Whoa, who's the girl? You murdered her?" Chester gasped. "Dude, that's too far man!"
Look who's talking, I thought to myself. Now I'm the bad guy.
"Just chill man," I said. "She's alive."
"What happened to her then?"
I shrugged. "No idea, man."
I felt a hand touch my arm and I looked at the girl - who was conscious again. "Um, are you okay?" I asked her.
She didn't answer. She stared at me. She stared at my eyes then she stood up with sandwich in hand and she swiftly went past Chester and in the door. I think I can hear her whimpering as she went past me. What just happened?
"What was that about?" Chester asked me as the door slammed shut. "Do you know her?"
I shook my head. "Never seen her before." after I said that phrase, something in me twisted as if rejecting that statement. My mind seemed to recall the girl's voice. It kind of sounded like the voice I heard earlier when I was daydreaming.
"Okay so- Ah!" Chester shouted. "We're late! Ms. Grayson must've already left!" He threw the bag of balloons right beside my ketchup bottles and opened the door, saying, "Mission to be continued! I'm hungry, so just leave those there. See ya' tomorrow!" and with that, he went in and left me. Good old' Chester - always making stupid and obviously fake reasons to eat. The teachers leave at 8. It's only 6:45 PM.
I figured I might as well go home. For, 1) My curfew it 6 o' clock sharp and 2) the sky is turning gray. I think I recalled the morning weather dude forecasting that it'll rain hard tonight.
So without further thinking, I went in the building and stealthily went out of the school. No one saw me and I never saw that girl.
As I walked up and down the street slopes of San Francisco, I kept thinking. That girl, something about her bugs me. I don't know what though. Maybe her hair, her voice or her eyes. I just exhaled and laid the thought about her aside.
I started running. My grandparent's house was a few blocks away from the school - about 15 minutes of walk. Yeah, I live with my grandparents. My parents were killed in a bad car accident with me. Fortunately, I survived but unfortunately my memories didn't - I suffered a bad blow to the head. My grandparents originally lived at New York, but for the past 7 years, they moved in my parent's house and sold their old house.
After maybe 5 minutes from my departure from the school, light rain started to pour. I started running a bit faster. It also started going dark.
On the way to my house, I always pass by the local park. It had a little wall-less hut that had benches under it. I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be some kind of smoker's area or a parent's hangout. There were also a short slide and a pair of swings. A see saw was also there.
As I went through it, I saw the light posts turned on with rain everywhere. I'm really soaked now. Unexpectedly, I stepped on my rubber shoe's shoelace and I tripped facedown. Good this no one here saw that. If you saw that happen to me, I'm pretty sure you'll laugh your arteries out your mouth and probably die.
As I regained my posture and started fixing my shoelaces, I heard a barely audible sneeze. It came from the tube slide. Is there a lost kid in there or something?
After I somewhat made a shoddy job of tying my shoelaces, I walked towards the slide's exit. I yelled, "Is someone there?"
All I got was an ear-pinching "A-choo!"
I poked my head in and I blinked a dozen times before I can comprehend what I'm seeing. It was the girl. She's at the near end of the slide tube, shivering and also soaked in water.
"What are you doing here?" I asked. She could have at least gone to the smoker's house.
"Taking shelter," she replied.
"Don't you have a home?"
"I have one," she said. "But I didn't have enough time to get there."
"You can still go out in the rain," I said. "You might just get a little cold. That's better than getting your parents worried."
She shook her head. "My body is very sensitive. Even right now when I only got wet a little, my head already hurts and my nose is reacting."
Sensitive body? Weak resistance? Why does it feel like I've heard of that before?
"How about you do this?" I said, taking off my jacket. I placed it over her head. She just stared at me blankly. I did the same. This seemed like a normal occurrence to her.
"I don't think this would be enough." she took my jacket off her head. "But thanks." She handed me my jacket back. I took it.
I guess that's a fail. Figuring this out is not easy. First things first though. Why am I helping this girl? Why do I bother anyways? It's not like I like her or anything. I just felt a strange connection with her.
"How about I go to my house and get an umbrella for you?" I found myself suggesting.
She plainly nodded.
Before I can leave, the girl placed a hand on my wrist and I looked back.
"Do I know you?" she asked. "I feel like I met you before."
"Yeah, same here. I felt like I also met you before," I thought. Somehow, I didn't want to tell her that sentence so I shook my head. "No."
When I tried to go, her hand tightened around my wrist. I looked at her again and saw her staring at my wrist. She started shaking more furiously. There's nothing there, really, just an old deep scar that I forgot about.
I figured she must've found that disturbing. She might be thinking I'm cutting myself or something worse. "What is it-?" I tried asking, but before I can punctuate it, the girl suddenly leaned forward and collapsed on my arm - which is in the rain. I guess she's gonna get sick after all.
"Hey, um, weird girl, are you okay? Hey?" I tried shaking her. Here she is again - unconscious but certainly alive. How did I know that she's alive, you ask? Well, she said something and it shook me to my core.
"Eric," she mumbled as her flowing light-brown hair began to be soaked in rain. She re-positioned herself on her side as if getting comfy.
But she said a name—Eric. The name that echoed in my mind and heart. It was the only thing that I remembered since I lost my memories. I felt that this is a name I used before. How? I don't know. But I figured that if it's the only thing I remember, then it must be my name, right? But my birth certificate conflicts that - it said my name is Jonathan Kace—nowhere near the name Eric. But still...I knew that Jonathan, my name, and the name Eric are one. I'm one-hundred percent sure.
When I heard that name, something ignited inside of me like a flame. A flame in a dark place in my mind called My Memories. My hearing or thinking about that name doesn't usually make me feel this way. Somehow, the name Eric, said in the girl's voice made it feel more familiar. Who is this girl?
This was the beginning of my journey to unlocking my mysterious past, and unlocking the mysterious-but-interesting present that I call "My Life."



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