I was diminishing, Nothing else. All that I have known about life was not what was it was. I lost everyone. Everything. Myself. Damn they never told me it was going to be this difficult. I was shaking on the floor. Heard a chorus of laughing people. I did not like this feeling at all.
I wake up. Something is not right. A cruel breeze of the winter wind slides gently underneath my bed sheet. I think to myself. Who left the window open? I look around to find Michael sitting on the foot of my bed.
“Michael, Why are you here”, I whispered. He just stared at me with so much doubt. I could feel the hatred that he had in his eyes. For a second I was nervous. Never would he come in my house at such an hour.
I looked at my clock and it reads 3:12 am.
He reaches over and grabs my hand. I move up close enough for him to get a good grip of me. He looks the other way. Not even acknowledging my question.
”Is there something wrong?”
“Maya, there is nothing wrong.” Michael spoke delicately.
“Well, do you want to go back to sleep?”
“You wouldn’t mind baby?” he came closer to me.
“No. My dad went to work last night.”
He wrapped the bright green quilt around him, releasing his arms to hold me secure to him. I was worried. He never had done this stunt before. The grasp he had on me was kind of scary. I didn’t say anything about it for the reason that I knew he would get pissed at such a matter.
I oozed off. I felt his body heat that was warming up my entire body. I could smell the liquor on his breath. It was strong. I didn’t recognize it until then. I turn over to face him. He takes a deep breath. He moves his arms to the front of him. I look up at him and get no reaction. I carefully place my small hands on his bare chest. Rubbing his chest in a circular motion, he grins.
Then Michael places his muscular hands on my hips. I all of a sudden became unbelievably comfortable. A temptation washes all over me. He grabs my face, and kisses my lips roughly. I jumped back. I do not favor aggressiveness. Then I glare at him. He looks pissed off.
“Baby, don’t be mad, okay.” I said in an innocent tone. I was ready to go to sleep and I shouldn’t have started all of that because I know how people are when they are intoxicated. I turn back around and my back faces him.
“Really Maya, it’s like that now?”
“It’s just I know you were drinking, that’s all.” I was so nervous to let those words slur out my mouth. I just closed my eyes heavily and hope he wouldn’t get mad.
“Iight, I got you. It’s all good though.” He spoke in a pathetic tone. I didn’t care. I was not going to make him think that it was all of okay because it wasn’t. He knows I don’t like him drinking. I don’t like anyone drinking. He didn’t understand that though. He thought that I was trying to make him quit doing s*** that made him happy and it wasn’t even like that.
I drifted off to sleep. I needed some good rest anyhow. I was so worn out of all the s*** that continued to happen. Nothing seemed this bad before. I wasn’t use to being left home alone for weeks at time, having to become stable to take care of myself, and to watch over Michael. It sounded amateur because I am seventeen and I should get ready to be on my own, but I didn’t want to get use to it. Having only one more year of high school left, I need to get a job and move out of this hellhole.