Forgivness Is Not Always There | Teen Ink

Forgivness Is Not Always There

March 16, 2012
By DJSavvy21, West Plains, Missouri
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DJSavvy21, West Plains, Missouri
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Favorite Quote:
People hate it when your better than them. People ain't hatin, start worryin then!




















-T.I


Author's note: I was inspired to write this because I wanted others to know that you can overcome anything that you want to. I also wrote it because I wanted to share that you forgive for yourself not others.

“Why does everything bad happen to me?” Devin said to her mother, Sunni Price. ”Well, some people just aren’t true friends. I know they were at some point, but I don’t think they are now.” “But Mom!! They have been my friends forever!!!!” “Yes, but some people just aren’t what they seems to be Sweetie.” Devin didn’t reply, she didn’t say a word; she just went up to her room to think.

All she could think about was how she didn’t want to lose her “Best Friends”. But, she also thought about what her mother said.” At some point they were… now they aren’t.” A million thoughts just kept running through her mind. She didn’t know what to do. She had tried to be friends with everyone and she treated others how she would want to be treated. Devin didn’t understand why they treated her this way. She felt like she had never treated them bad, or talked behind their back, but they did it to her all the time.

Her mother called up to her room, “Sweetie, dinner is ready!” She replied,” I can’t eat anything right now, maybe later.” When Devin came downstairs, her family was sitting at the table in the dining room. “Mom, I’m going to go out for a walk. Is that ok?” “Sure Honey! But make sure that you are back before 8:00p.m.” “Ok.” Devin said with a sorrow look on her face.

She was only going to walk to the park. But it wasn’t a very long walk, so she decided that since it was 6:00p.m. She would stay at the park and swing. Ever since Devin was a little girl, swinging always seems to clear her mind. Writing does to, but she hasn’t had a steady hand ever since her life had changed.

Finally, she had arrived at the park. She walked over to the swings and sat down. She couldn’t get those words out of her head. They just kept running through her mind. She didn’t know if she should go back to school and be friends with everyone or if she should find a new group of friends. She spent the whole time she was at the park trying to think of what she should do. The reason why she was debating on if she should find new friends or if she would go back to her old ones was because her so-called friends,( Kylie, Jenna, Alex, and Brianna), had always been there for her when she needed them, but now their true colors were starting to show.

It was starting to get dark, so Devin started up the street. When she made it to her house, she crept in silently. She heard her mother on the phone with her Biological father, John Lake, and they were talking about Devin. Devin stood silently by the door and listened in on their conversation. “John, she hasn’t eaten in 2 days and she won’t talk to anyone. All she does is sits in her room and listens to her music.” Sunni went on. Devin couldn’t make out what her dad said, but it sounded something like, “Well let’s just give it a couple more days until I get home, and if she is still like that then Devin will come stay with me for a while.” John proclaimed. “Ok, I think it will be good for her to get out of this town for a while.” Then they said their goodbyes and hung up the phone. Devin went up to her room and pretended to not know anything about her parents plan.

The next morning, Devin woke up to a knock on her door. “Devin, can I come in and talk to you?” “Yeah, come in.” Devin croaked. “Your dad and I were talking last night, and we think it would be best if you went and stayed with him and Christy for a while. What do you think?” “I’m totally cool with that, but Mom, how do you feel about it?” Devin said caringly. “ Well it will take some time to get used to you not being here, but if it’s for your benefit, then I can do it.” “Ok, if you ok with it, then I guess I will pack. How long will I be there?” “However long it takes for you to be back to normal.” Sunni acknowledged. “Ok, well I’m going to pack, so you can go do your own thing now!” Devin exclaimed. Then Sunni stood up, and went downstairs speechlessly.

Devin started packing last night, because she wanted to live with her dad anyways. So, about an hour after Sunni had told Devin about the move, Sunni heard suitcases and bags come flying down the stairs. “Devin, are you ok?!” Devin shouted back, “Yeah, I just didn’t want to carry all this down the stairs!” “Oh… ok. I’ll carry this to the door.” Sunni said as she was walking over to the stairs. When Devin was done with packing and everything else, she got the phone and called Christy.



“Hey Christy! Are you doing anything today?” “Not that I know of Sunni, why do you need something.” “Well Dad said that I was coming to stay with you guys for a while because some stuff has been happening, so I was wondering if I could move all my stuff over today.” “Um… well your father and I haven’t talked about anything, so let me give him a call, and I will call you back.” “Ok, love you!” “Love you to girlie!” “What did Christy say?” “She has to call Dad, and she said she would call me back.”

About an hour later, the phone rang. “Hello?” Devin said. It was her Dad. “Hey Baby!” “So, I talked to Christy and your little brother, and they said it would ok if you went and came to stay with us, but you will have to stay in the sunroom. We will get it fixed up for you, but for now just set all your stuff in the room right off the kitchen. Christy is going to be making a bed for you in there as well, but until she gets to it you will just have to sleep on the couch.” “Ok Dad. Do you know when you are going to come get me?” “Well I’m on my way home right now, but you can either wait until I get here or Christy said she would go get you. Now you take your pick.” “Well, all my stuff is ready so I guess Christy can just come get me.” “Ok, I’ll let her know.” “Thanks Dad for everything! I’ll see you when you get home. Have a safe trip home! I love you and can’t wait to see you!” “I can’t wait to see you to! Love you, Bye!” And then Devin heard the end of the other line hang up.

When Christy arrived, she had come up to the door and rang the doorbell. Devin walked down the stairs slowly. “Hey, are you ready?” Devin heard as she was opening the door. “Yeah, just let me put all my stuff in the Tahoe.” “Ok, let me help you.” Christy said happily as she went to go pick up a suitcase. As Christy and Devin walked out of the house, Christy stopped and said, “So, what has been going on, or do you want to wait and talk about it when we get back in the Tahoe?” “Well, it’s a long story, so let’s save it for the ride to Willow Springs, Missouri. That’s were Christy and her father lived.

When all the boxes and suitcases were loaded up in the car, Devin said her goodbyes to her mother and walked slowly to the car. She looked back and saw her mother with tears in her eyes, at that moment she realized, her whole life has just been turned upside down, but she held back the tears and kept walking towards the vehicle.


“So, now what has been going on with this drama Devin?” Christy questioned. “All my friends are ditching me and bullying me and all of that kind of thing.” Devin went on about everything that has happened in the past year or so. When she finally finished her whole drama story they were almost to Willow Springs, MO; finally, they arrived.

“Ok, well let me help you carry all your stuff into your “for-now room”.” Christy said enthusiastically. Devin didn’t say a word; she just unbuckled her seatbelt and went to the back of the Tahoe to get her stuff out of the car. She didn’t want to talk to anyone but her dad. “Well, I guess I will leave you alone. Do you want me to tell your dad that you are here?” “I don’t care. You can if you want to.” Devin said emotionless.

“Well then,” there was an awkward pause, “let’s get started!” Christy stated. So, then Christy and Devin walked outside over to the car and picked up her stuff. It took a few times walked back and forth carrying stuff in and out of the house. After all of Devin’s stuff was finally in the house, she went over to the cabinet and got a glass so she could have something to drink. After Devin was done, she went to her so called “room” and turned on her iPod and just lied there staring at the ceiling.

Devin stayed in her room for the most part. She only came out when she needed something to drink or a snack. “Devin, your dad is coming home tomorrow morning; I think he wants to talk to you when he gets here.” Christy said while she was cleaning off the table. “Ok, I’ll be in my room until he gets here. Thanks!” Devin said while she walked off.
All she wanted to do is cry because she felt like she had just run away from her problems, not stood there and faced them.

There was a park at the church right across the street, so Devin told Christy where she was going, and Christy said that would be fine. So Devin put on her purple Vlado hoodie and walked out the door. She just wanted to be alone so she could put her thoughts together. When she walked over to the park there was this boy about her age on the swings. She walked over and sat down.



“Hey, I’m Tyson! What’s your name?” The boy on the swing said. “My name is Devin.” She said softly. “I can tell there is something wrong, so why don’t we go sit on the bridge and talk?” Tyson murmured. “Well I came over here to be alone, but I don’t want to be alone anymore.” Devin admitted with tears in her eyes. So the two got up out of the swings and started walking over to the bridge.

“How did you know that there was something wrong with me?” she questioned. Tyson replied with, “Well I could see it in your eyes. And you said your name softy, not with confidence, so I thought there was something wrong, whether it was something big, or just something little.” “Wow! You were right because there is something wrong, but it’s a MAJOR thing. Are you sure that you want to listen?” Devin quizzed.

“Uh, yeah! I was the one that wanted you to talk to me about it first, so of course I want to still listen!” he defended. “Yeah, true. Ok, well there was, and well still is, drama the other school I went to and my friends and I were in a big fight and they wouldn’t talk to me. All they did was talk about me behind my back and I didn’t think it was right. And then some untrue rumors got around and they didn’t want to be my friends again. So, ever since then I haven’t been myself.” Devin explained.

“I’m so sorry to hear that. I went through the same thing a couple years ago.” He admitted. “Oh, well what happened?” Devin questioned. “Well, I was hanging around one of my good friends, Ciara, and then rumors went around that we were together and they weren’t true. So all my friends got mad at me because I didn’t tell them that I had a girlfriend, but I tried to explain to them that it was just a rumor but they didn’t believe me. After I told them that it wasn’t true, they said I was lying so they got even madder at me!” Tyson recalled.

“Well, how did you get over it?” Devin asked. “I didn’t. I just stopped hanging out with people. “Oh, well I think you’re a cool person to be around!” Devin insinuated. “Aw! Thanks, I feel the same way about you!” Tyson replied while starting to blush. “Well, it’s starting to get dark, so I think I need to start home.” Devin stated. “Here, let me walk you home. My house is that way anyway.”

“You don’t have to that, I’ll…” “I want to!!” Tyson interrupted. “Ok, I guess.” So then the two teens started off to Devin’s house. While they were walking, Tyson broke the silence with, “Maybe we can get together again sometime. I mean if you want to.” “Yeah, totally! You’re the first person I can actually talk to about things without feeling awkward.” “Yeah I feel the same way about you!” he replied. “Here’s my number,” Devin said as she pulled out a pen from her back pocket. The two stopped walking and she wrote her number on Tyson’s arm. A little while after that, Devin stopped and told him they were here. He gave her a hug and walked on down the road to his house.

When Devin walked into the house, she had the first smile on her face in a long time. “Well, well, well! Who was that boy you were talking to?” Devin heard as she was walking to her room. It was her dad. His flight had come in early. “He is just a friend; promise.” She answered. “Ok, he better be. I’m tired, but tomorrow we will be having a long talk, ok? Goodnight, love you!” Devin heard followed by a door slamming. “Love you to Dad!” she said, but thinking he didn’t hear.

The next morning, Devin’s dad walked in her room and woke her up. “So, what happened now?” he said. So Devin explained what happened and her and her dad talked for about an hour and then her dad told her to get ready. “Ok, then!” Devin exclaimed. She got ready and then walked outside her room. Christy told her that her dad was already in the car so she grabbed her purse and she went outside into the Tahoe. “Where are we going anyways?” Devin asked. “We’re going to the store to pick up some stuff for your room and the barbeque tonight.” He replied.

It was a silent drive to the store, but when they entered the place, her dad started talking to almost every other person. When, John finally stopped talking, they walked back together to the paint. They picked out a neon green, pink, purple, and a Caribbean blue. The also picked up and black and white. Christy thought of the idea to splatter paint Devin’s new room. They also picked out a new bed, dresser drawers, and a place to do her makeup/homework. It was a cherry wood set also. The last thing on her list was a new bed, which came with the set.

When the two went to the checkout isle, John also said that later, Christy was going to take Devin up to Springfield to get new clothes. So Devin was kind of excited. The store clerk had someone take the stuff to the Tahoe. After everything was loading up in the car, Devin told the store clerk and the guy who carried everything to the car thank you; she got in the Tahoe and told her father thank you. “Devin, you are my daughter and I will always help you out. I love you and I hope you know that!” John said as he had tears in his eyes. “I know I’m always at work and I’m never here, but I think about you and my family every minute I’m not with you. I don’t want you to think that I don’t care, because I do!!” He also stated. “Dad, I know it’s not your fault, but I love you and I am glad you are here now!” Devin replied.

When they drove back home, Devin and her dad talked about her life and things like that. Christy was getting ready when they walked in. She told Devin she was excited to go to Springfield with her. “I am excited too! It will give us some time to bond.” Devin assured. As soon as Christy got her makeup on, they said their goodbyes and headed out the doors. The whole ride up there was nothing but the two young women talking and laughing just as they were best friends, not mother and daughter. They talked about boys, and Devin’s life, and everything BUT the drama. “It was nice not to have to worry about the drama for once in my life.” Devin assured herself as she was throwing bad thoughts out of her mind.

When they finally arrived in Springfield, their first stop was the Battlefield Mall. Devin loved the mall. When there weren’t any problems with her and her “friends” they would all go up to the mall and hang out. Kind of like a Girls Day. Devin was so happy that her and her step mom had a chance to get together and just hang out. When they were finally done shopping, it was late so they decided to stay up in Springfield for the night. They rented a hotel so that they would have a place to stay instead of sleeping in the car.



On the way back home, Devin thought about what she was going to do. She decided to not be involved with drama anymore and that she wanted to talk to Tyson about it though because she knew that he was in the same situation before. So Devin texted Tyson and he said that Devin should do what she felt in her heart. Devin thought about it and said, “Forgiveness is not always there!”




















Devin finally realized that just because they apologize, doesn’t mean that she has to be friends with them. She also realized that just because they apologized, doesn’t change what they did. She also knew that she didn’t have to go back to them and be hurt by them anymore. It was her life, and she didn’t have to follow anything or anyone who she didn’t agree.

Now Devin is more outgoing and she reaches for the
Stars and doesn’t let anyone get in her
Way of her dreams. She is still living with her dad and
She is going out for sports in the summer.
Always remember that just because someone
Apologizes, doesn’t mean you have to forgive.



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