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Call Me Cruel

Author's note: I wrote this because I wanted to write about the difference between humans and animals.
Author's note: I wrote this because I wanted to write about the difference between humans and animals.  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   1 2 3 4 Next »

The Hunt Begins

In the dark they hunt him like a fox, into the night they charge, lights and knifes brandished. What they really want is to feel cold and scared flesh beneath their hands. They can no longer speak, they can only growl and yell. They used to be men, they used to be human; but now they're a mob.
Call me cruel but I have to leave him for dead. Getting in the way of a mob means death, we all know that. Like sharks, once they get the sent of blood it's all hopeless. Welcome to the new world, where
The beginning is a metaphor, for several things. I at first meant it to be a metaphor for people excluding someone and bullying them, but then I figured it could also be a metaphor for any kind of witch hunt people do. The boy, as my character calls him, was written as a metaphor for human greed, although it's open to interpretation.
only blood and stone remain.
From my tree I watch the mob rush my, the stench of men together hurts my nose. Not to mention their noise. It is not good for a girl to be out alone in the night, it never has been. I have a knife, I have a gun and I'm not afraid to kill. I've seen what color men are inside, I've seen what dead eyes look like and I've heard many a death cry in my sweet sixteen years. I've learned how to kill a man, stay motionless for hours, how to hunt and how to live. I've gained scars, calluses and a cruelty that runs deep within my soul. These days have ripped out my heart and replaced it with a cold stone.

"What are you doing up there?" A voice croons though the dwindling light. I remain motionless, just like my stone heart. I look down in the darkness, and make out the shape of a boy, or young man. I know him, and I know I am his prey. I don't say anything. I've got the advantage when he tries to attack me, I draw my gun. At this range he's as good as dead.

"That is not a very nice thing to do, I was asking a simple question." There is a tone of menace in his crooning voice.

"Get your hands where I can see them." Though the dark my voice is as cold and hard as steel. He places his hands on the trunk of the tree. I'm slightly stuck how. For a moment my mind whirls, then my thoughts become clear and a plan forms in my mind. I swing of a branch with my free hand and plant my shoe in his hand just as hard as I can, he yelps in pain and I swing and get the other hand. While he recoils in pain I tear into the dark wood.
I will have about five minutes before he recovers. In that time I have to have made good distance between us and found a good hiding place with an advantage for killing him, should I need to. I am not afraid to kill, but I am not proud of it either. I will avoid it if I can.
The fading light will conceal me, but it also conceals others. I have almost no chance of picking out anyone in this dark, in this terrine at this speed. My only chance is being so fast they have no chance to aim themselves or their bullets. He will have recovered now, and he'll be furious. I leap into the roots of a tree and plunge into further darkness. I land and skid slightly on some loose rocks. The moon has come out. That will help me see but it will also help others see me.
I try to quiet my pounding heart. He will be somewhere above. He never gives up, he will keep looking for me. I remain completely silent. I should really have killed him back there, I had the perfect opportunity too. But we both know I can't. He is the spit image of a boy I used to be in love with, so therefore I cannot kill him. He knows that, He will take advantage of it as best he can.
I don't really blame him, I would do the same, if I liked to hunt people. Which I don't.
That's why I'm prey.
Chapters:   1 2 3 4 Next »

Join the Discussion

This book has 10 comments. Post your own now!

Jappyalldayeveryday said...
Dec. 30, 2011 at 1:57 pm
Wow, this is really good. You should definitely keep writing this!
AnimaCordis replied...
Jan. 2, 2012 at 4:53 am
Thank you!
Love.Hate.Passion. said...
Dec. 29, 2011 at 7:11 pm
I liked where your book was going , but I think the symbolism is a tad hard to follow. I think you should have developed your characters , setting, story , plot , etc. more. You had some minor spelling mistakes that need to be fixed as well. I didn't really see the romance in this and although I am an avid fan of the Hunger Games , I didn't find many similarities or likes between them. I wish you'd elongate the story. It's definitely got potential to be a good one. ****
AnimaCordis replied...
Jan. 2, 2012 at 4:53 am
I guess you're right, but i didn't really want a plot, i didn't want anything to be very clear. I wanted the whole thing to sort of me a sightly comfusing mass, just as her life is
CautionwetPaint said...
Dec. 26, 2011 at 1:15 pm
Hey Animacordis! I like this story, I genuinely do. I think the symbolism thing is really cool (I totally got that part . . .sorta) but I do have a few questions. First off, not to sound cruel or anything but where is the plot? I mean yeah, it has a plot. There's a girl living in a world of chaos? and she has to fight to survive but there's nothing really beyond the bloodshed. Like How did the world get the way it did? Are there any humans at all living in a civilized way? The only reason I ask ... (more »)
AnimaCordis replied...
Dec. 29, 2011 at 5:17 am
Cautionwetpaint, Hi! I'm glad you liked my story. As for your questions, you're right. This story doens't really have a plot. That's becuase it's a mild form of 'stream of conciesness' And yes, there are lots of questions left unanswered. She is, as she says hserself 'from nowhere' i sort of meant for people to invent what they wanted about her past. As for the world she lives in, something bad happend, I don't know what. Just think of the worst thing you think could happen to the world. I w... (more »)
UNserieswriter said...
Dec. 18, 2011 at 4:53 pm
okay. you have some work to do, but then again even the best people on this site do. sometimes your wording comes off as false. she's sixteen so why does she talk like an elven warrior in the middle ages? and if she does have to talk like that work on making her sound genuine. as a character i dont like her. she sounds full of herself. main characters are supposed to be liked or hated. i doubt you wanted me to dislike her. work on her speech, and you'll get better. i mean everything i said to he... (more »)
AnimaCordis replied...
Dec. 29, 2011 at 5:24 am
Maybe she is a sixteen year old elven warrior from the middle ages? Considering where she is, it's a little hard to believe she would sound normal. She is full of herself. That is becuase she only has herlsef to rely upon and turst. To be honset, I genuinly didn't mind what the reader thought of my character, because I wanted her to be real. Real people arn't all loved or all hated, real people have far more range in the impressions they leave with the reader. I am, in fact, glad you didn't l... (more »)
Taphephobia This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 11, 2011 at 3:56 pm
I kinda liked the flow of this but the whole symbolism thing made it hard to follow. Otherwise, it is a nice story.
Zenny said...
Dec. 11, 2011 at 9:24 am

I like your writing style here. It's very good. Yeah, I can see why it's like the hunger games. Critique.... Um... i don't really have any. Of course, I read onlyteh first chapter.



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