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Changes in Me

Author's note: I was homeschooled for half my life until fifth grade, so most of these thoughts and feelings are...  Show full author's note »
Author's note: I was homeschooled for half my life until fifth grade, so most of these thoughts and feelings are actually mine. I know how Helen feels. This story is not meant to be offensive in any way.  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 Next »

John's Secret

'No, I wouldn't dare! I would gain embarrassment beyond my comprehension if I did it!' These thoughts overtake my mind as I walk slowly down the hallway during the transition between 4th and 5th period in the overly-conjested hallways.
My mental battle is tough- I need to decide whether or not to confront Jake Ronald about him assaulting John. I now realize that as shockingly attractive as Jake may be, he is not a nice or good person, that somebody seriously needs to do something about! But if I confront him, obviously he is not going to listen, and I also don't know what John did to Jake in the first place to make him act out in the way that he did.
Suddenly, I find my answer through a voice from above: the student spokeman's voice making announcements through the overhead intercom system. The voice(female)states that, "Good morning Willis Henry High School! I'm Rachel Lucas with your daily announcements! First off, it's the beginning of the school year, and homecoming will be here in 2 weeks! Next, all you hot jocks out there who are looking for a place, the football team is having try-outs tomorrow after school! Lastly, here is your morning pump-up song!" The lyrics explode in my ears: 'It's my life, it's now or never! I ain't gunna live forever! I just wanna live while I'm alive! It's my life!'
As inspiring as Bon Jovi's song lyrics may be, I find another path to travel: John's blond head suddenly appears in front of me.
"Um, John?" I tap him on the shoulder.
"Oh, hello Helen," he replies. Today, he is sporting a plaid sweater from L.L. Bean with his initials over the pocket protector, kakis, and brown leather boat shoes.
"Can I talk to your for a minute?"
"Sure, but let's go somewhere else."
So we attempt to enter the Senior's pit, but get kicked out with vulgar language and math homework. We spring to a safer location, laughing all the way. The science room on the second floor, room 143 is where we go. Out of breath from laughing, we plop down in two lab stools facing eachother.
"So, tell me: What did you want to discuss?"
"Well," I say, "This may be awkward, but why was Jake Ronald kicking you yesterday?"
He looks at me, smiles, and shakes his head. I think I even hear a faint chuckle escape his lips. "That's personal," he replies. A sly grin crosses his face like a twilight lit shadow.
A sudden mood swing over-takes me, and I edge a little over my seat to get closer to John. He also leans a little closer, and I smell his sweet breath- cherries and spearmint gum. His enchanting green eyes win me over as they seem to dig into my sould and his elegant hand intertwines with mine, and suddenly I feel my palm become sweaty. Something doesn't feel right, even though the moment may seem perfect to an outsider. Besides the unsettling feeling, I sense the tingling sensation as our lips brush, and my eyes light up in happiness; but breaking the special moment, John pulls back. He intesely looks into my eyes, and states that that was his first real kiss. I reply with the true statement that it was mine, too.
I look John back in the eyes. "Will you go to homecoming with me?" I ask. I realize that the girl should actually be asked by the boy, like in the movies, but the moment just seemed too perfect and magical to waste, and I figured if he never asked me, then I may never get the chance for a date during my sophomore year at high school.
Suddenly, a cute image enters my mind of John and I sitting on a blanket eating a picnic in a sun-filled meadow with butter rolls and jam- "Helen," my thoughts were suddenly interrupted by John's sweet voice, "You have a great personality and are really pretty, but, well. Um, ha, this is really awkward, but," I nod to encourage him, but feel the dissappointment in my eyes; I guess he already has a girlfriend. But he speaks again and says, "You've probably noticed that I'm, well, different. I wear different clothes, talk differently, act differently, I sing and dance and act, and, well, I'm interested in different things." Aah, I know where this is going. He's an illegal immigrant! Or, maybe he doesn't really go to this school... "The truth is, Helen, that I don't really, well, um. Look, I don't even know you that well! By kissing you, I probably gave you the wrong idea about me, but I was just trying to see if I could change, but I can't. Oh, Helen, I'm so sorry!"
"For what?!"
"Helen, we can't be together because, well, um, because," I nod to him with wide eyes. Where is this going?! His voice dramatically quiets, "Because I'm gay."
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 Next »


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