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Pot Of Gold

Author's note: I was also once pregnant, but i had my son in march of 2011.
Author's note: I was also once pregnant, but i had my son in march of 2011.  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 22 Next »


“Buhboom buhboom buhboom”. The sound of my beautiful baby boy’s heartbeats beating rapidly like an African drum. My heart dropped, and my skin began to crawl as I had to now face the fact that I was pregnant.
Everything in the crowed waiting room was quiet as I waited to get called on by the female nurse. My mind began to wonder, my thoughts were all blank, and I was speechless. I couldn’t believe this. So I closed my eyes in hopes that maybe I would wake up and it would all be over. But I quickly came to the realization that it would not work.
The room was full of unwanted babies, teen mothers, and sorrow. But for some reason the only thing I could hear was “buhboom buhboom buhboom” was I imagining this? How could I hear this baby? Why was I hearing this baby? So many unanswered questions.
As I wondered into space, my thoughts were quickly interrupted by the sudden loudness of a voice, a female voice. “Jasmine” it yelled. “We will see you now”. As I got up from the hollow chair, the beating stopped. Had this woman frightened my unborn baby? Or was my baby scared of me? Scared of what I was about to do. Scared that he/she would no longer exist.
As the wooden door of no return loudly closed, I quickly gazed at the sad faces, baby bumps, and tears. I looked at my stomach, touched it for the first time and quickly escaped. I didn’t know what I was doing; I didn’t have any siblings so I didn’t know how to take care of an infant baby. All I knew was what I had seen on TV, which wasn’t much considering we didn’t have cable. I had to watch VCR tapes all day.
The hardest part was telling my mom though. She didn’t even know I was missing right now. And she definitely didn’t know I was at Planned Parenthood trying to kill my unborn fetus. I had just helped her into bed, and gave her dinner when it was time for my appointment. At the time I was just worrying about what my mom would say and how she would react to the fact that I was pregnant. We barely get along as it is.
My mother and I never got along, especially after my father had left us 2 years ago. Her depressions caused us to slowly grow apart.
It all started when my father began drinking. He always came home drunk, and started arguing with my mom. Then one day he hit her and it all went downhill from there. They began physically fighting each other 4 days out of 7. And we got kicked out. Forced to stay on the street, and use food stamps to get all our meals. I could never have friends over because we lived in a shelter. Do you know how embarrassed I was? I could tell that my mother was embarrassed more than me though because she would always hold her head down when she went inside the place, as if she didn’t even see the people there.
When we finally got out of the shelter, my so called “father” was gone. He was suppose to help us move boxes but never came back from the U-Haul place downtown. I could see the anger in my mother’s face, but I didn’t dare ask her what was wrong. Word on the street was that he was talking to another woman that he got pregnant, and left us for her. And my mother believed every word of it.
She soon began to hate everything that had to do with my father. From his clothes, to his appearance, and even his scent. Everything that had to do with my father my mother BURNED! I felt bad for my mother because my father was all that she had left in this world. He was the only thing that kept her going every day. She got pregnant young and got kicked out and moved with my father’s family so she’s been living with him my whole life. Until they turned 18 and my father decided he wanted to move out and support his own family.
I couldn’t believe my father would do something like this. When my mother first told me I was hoping it was just a rumor and my father had gone to the store or something. But after weeks went by and I hadn’t seen my father get up in the morning for his 30 minute shower that he always takes before work. I knew that he wasn’t coming back, no matter how much I prayed that he would. No matter how much I thought I knew what kind of man my father was.
As I walked down what seemed like endless stairs, I exited the facility. Looking back at it hoping that I had made the right decision. I now had to go home and face an even bigger decision, telling my mother; and the father of my baby, Ryan. Ryan was the biggest jock in our school and the biggest jerk. Nobody in school even knew that we had sex so I knew that nobody would believe me.
Ryan and I use to hate each other at the beginning of freshman year, always arguing and giving each other dirty looks. Until one day our teacher Ms. Woodstock had passed away at our school and we attended her funeral. Everyone was upset, crying, and some people didn’t make any noise at all, they just looked. Ryan and I were in the back. He got stuck sitting with me because he came in a little late. I was crying and vulnerable, and Ryan took full advantage of that. He asked me if I wanted to lie on his shoulder. So I quickly said yes because I didn’t want anyone to see me crying; and I definitely didn’t want to get my cheap make up smudged all over my face.
He slowly began to put his hand onto my thigh and massage it. At the time I thought he was just being nice so I didn’t pay it any mind. That was until I found myself at his house in his bedroom. I knew how I got there; he invited me to dinner with his family after the funeral because I looked hungry. But what I didn’t know was how we ended up in his room. One thing led to another, and 30 minutes later I was dressing myself and preparing to leave. No goodbye, no hug, no nothing. I was in a hurry to leave and go home, not because he told me to leave but because I was in shock at what I had just done.
Did our relationship change? Just a little, but I didn’t want it to change. I wanted it to be just the way it had been all these years. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to speak to him; I just didn’t want anybody to know about what I had done with him. I didn’t even want to remember myself. I didn’t even have his number to tell him that we had a child on the way. I knew he didn’t want kids because he was always saying how kids were too much work, and how they would conflict with his football practice. But I guess I had no the choice. But I was definitely going to tell him before my mother.
As I got onto the noisy city bus I began to dial my best friend Marissa’s number to tell her the news. I didn’t know how she would take it, but I had to tell someone.
“Hello” answered Marissa,
“I’m pregnant” I said bluntly.
“Wait what?” she said with confusion,
“by Ryan”.
“By WHO” she screamed in my ear,
“jock Ryan, you know stupid Ryan” I answered.
Her silence was golden, I knew she needed a quick answer, a good answer. “How do you know for sure”
“because I just came from Planned Parenthood, and they told me that I was 10weeks pregnant”
“oh my gosh jaz, are you keeping it, are you ready for a baby, what are you having?”. So many questions she was asking that I didn’t even have the answer to myself.
“Yes I’m keeping it, but I don’t know how my mom will react”.
“Jasmine don’t ask me why but I am totally excited”. I was shocked at Marissa’s response because just last year she had the BIGGEST crush on Ryan. She was kind of obsessed with him if that’s what you call it.
Marissa and I continued to talk my whole ride home, making up baby names and thinking of how to tell Ryan. So far we came up with Ryan Jr, and to tell him through a text message. When it was time to get off the bus I informed Marissa that I had to go because I was going home, and I didn’t want my mom to hear us talking.
As soon as I walked into the house my mother was in the kitchen cooking. I tried to walk past her in hopes that she wouldn’t ask where I had been. But to no prevail.
“Where did you go? I was calling you from my bedroom” she asked.
“I went to the store for some female things” I told her quickly.
“Well where are they?”
“I used it mom”.
My mom didn’t like discussing females things so I knew that would end the conversation quicker than my mother would of wanted it to.
I ran to my room quickly so that I could lie down. I had a lot of thinking to do, and I was tired out of my mind. I never knew being pregnant could be this exhausting. But then again I didn't know a lot of things.
Chapters:   1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 22 Next »

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This book has 2 comments. Post your own now!

Shanaya. said...
Dec. 19, 2011 at 10:31 pm
Thank you : ) and yess i will  .
MiNdLeSsLuVeRgIrL said...
Dec. 19, 2011 at 3:15 pm

will you please make more



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