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Pot Of Gold
Author's note: I was also once pregnant, but i had my son in march of 2011.
“Buhboom buhboom buhboom”. The sound of my beautiful baby boy’s heartbeats beating rapidly like an African drum. My heart dropped, and my skin began to crawl as I had to now face the fact that I was pregnant.
Everything in the crowed waiting room was quiet as I waited to get called on by the female nurse. My mind began to wonder, my thoughts were all blank, and I was speechless. I couldn’t believe this. So I closed my eyes in hopes that maybe I would wake up and it would all be over. But I quickly came to the realization that it would not work.
The room was full of unwanted babies, teen mothers, and sorrow. But for some reason the only thing I could hear was “buhboom buhboom buhboom” was I imagining this? How could I hear this baby? Why was I hearing this baby? So many unanswered questions.
As I wondered into space, my thoughts were quickly interrupted by the sudden loudness of a voice, a female voice. “Jasmine” it yelled. “We will see you now”. As I got up from the hollow chair, the beating stopped. Had this woman frightened my unborn baby? Or was my baby scared of me? Scared of what I was about to do. Scared that he/she would no longer exist.
As the wooden door of no return loudly closed, I quickly gazed at the sad faces, baby bumps, and tears. I looked at my stomach, touched it for the first time and quickly escaped. I didn’t know what I was doing; I didn’t have any siblings so I didn’t know how to take care of an infant baby. All I knew was what I had seen on TV, which wasn’t much considering we didn’t have cable. I had to watch VCR tapes all day.
The hardest part was telling my mom though. She didn’t even know I was missing right now. And she definitely didn’t know I was at Planned Parenthood trying to kill my unborn fetus. I had just helped her into bed, and gave her dinner when it was time for my appointment. At the time I was just worrying about what my mom would say and how she would react to the fact that I was pregnant. We barely get along as it is.
My mother and I never got along, especially after my father had left us 2 years ago. Her depressions caused us to slowly grow apart.
It all started when my father began drinking. He always came home drunk, and started arguing with my mom. Then one day he hit her and it all went downhill from there. They began physically fighting each other 4 days out of 7. And we got kicked out. Forced to stay on the street, and use food stamps to get all our meals. I could never have friends over because we lived in a shelter. Do you know how embarrassed I was? I could tell that my mother was embarrassed more than me though because she would always hold her head down when she went inside the place, as if she didn’t even see the people there.
When we finally got out of the shelter, my so called “father” was gone. He was suppose to help us move boxes but never came back from the U-Haul place downtown. I could see the anger in my mother’s face, but I didn’t dare ask her what was wrong. Word on the street was that he was talking to another woman that he got pregnant, and left us for her. And my mother believed every word of it.
She soon began to hate everything that had to do with my father. From his clothes, to his appearance, and even his scent. Everything that had to do with my father my mother BURNED! I felt bad for my mother because my father was all that she had left in this world. He was the only thing that kept her going every day. She got pregnant young and got kicked out and moved with my father’s family so she’s been living with him my whole life. Until they turned 18 and my father decided he wanted to move out and support his own family.
I couldn’t believe my father would do something like this. When my mother first told me I was hoping it was just a rumor and my father had gone to the store or something. But after weeks went by and I hadn’t seen my father get up in the morning for his 30 minute shower that he always takes before work. I knew that he wasn’t coming back, no matter how much I prayed that he would. No matter how much I thought I knew what kind of man my father was.
As I walked down what seemed like endless stairs, I exited the facility. Looking back at it hoping that I had made the right decision. I now had to go home and face an even bigger decision, telling my mother; and the father of my baby, Ryan. Ryan was the biggest jock in our school and the biggest jerk. Nobody in school even knew that we had sex so I knew that nobody would believe me.
Ryan and I use to hate each other at the beginning of freshman year, always arguing and giving each other dirty looks. Until one day our teacher Ms. Woodstock had passed away at our school and we attended her funeral. Everyone was upset, crying, and some people didn’t make any noise at all, they just looked. Ryan and I were in the back. He got stuck sitting with me because he came in a little late. I was crying and vulnerable, and Ryan took full advantage of that. He asked me if I wanted to lie on his shoulder. So I quickly said yes because I didn’t want anyone to see me crying; and I definitely didn’t want to get my cheap make up smudged all over my face.
He slowly began to put his hand onto my thigh and massage it. At the time I thought he was just being nice so I didn’t pay it any mind. That was until I found myself at his house in his bedroom. I knew how I got there; he invited me to dinner with his family after the funeral because I looked hungry. But what I didn’t know was how we ended up in his room. One thing led to another, and 30 minutes later I was dressing myself and preparing to leave. No goodbye, no hug, no nothing. I was in a hurry to leave and go home, not because he told me to leave but because I was in shock at what I had just done.
Did our relationship change? Just a little, but I didn’t want it to change. I wanted it to be just the way it had been all these years. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to speak to him; I just didn’t want anybody to know about what I had done with him. I didn’t even want to remember myself. I didn’t even have his number to tell him that we had a child on the way. I knew he didn’t want kids because he was always saying how kids were too much work, and how they would conflict with his football practice. But I guess I had no the choice. But I was definitely going to tell him before my mother.
As I got onto the noisy city bus I began to dial my best friend Marissa’s number to tell her the news. I didn’t know how she would take it, but I had to tell someone.
“Hello” answered Marissa,
“I’m pregnant” I said bluntly.
“Wait what?” she said with confusion,
“By WHO” she screamed in my ear,
“jock Ryan, you know stupid Ryan” I answered.
Her silence was golden, I knew she needed a quick answer, a good answer. “How do you know for sure”
“because I just came from Planned Parenthood, and they told me that I was 10weeks pregnant”
“oh my gosh jaz, are you keeping it, are you ready for a baby, what are you having?”. So many questions she was asking that I didn’t even have the answer to myself.
“Yes I’m keeping it, but I don’t know how my mom will react”.
“Jasmine don’t ask me why but I am totally excited”. I was shocked at Marissa’s response because just last year she had the BIGGEST crush on Ryan. She was kind of obsessed with him if that’s what you call it.
Marissa and I continued to talk my whole ride home, making up baby names and thinking of how to tell Ryan. So far we came up with Ryan Jr, and to tell him through a text message. When it was time to get off the bus I informed Marissa that I had to go because I was going home, and I didn’t want my mom to hear us talking.
As soon as I walked into the house my mother was in the kitchen cooking. I tried to walk past her in hopes that she wouldn’t ask where I had been. But to no prevail.
“Where did you go? I was calling you from my bedroom” she asked.
“I went to the store for some female things” I told her quickly.
“Well where are they?”
“I used it mom”.
My mom didn’t like discussing females things so I knew that would end the conversation quicker than my mother would of wanted it to.
I ran to my room quickly so that I could lie down. I had a lot of thinking to do, and I was tired out of my mind. I never knew being pregnant could be this exhausting. But then again I didn't know a lot of things.
It was senior year, and our football team, the falcons, was on a winning streak (16-0). We were winning almost every game, and I was the greatest quarterback on the team. Everyone always jumped up and down on our school’s old wooden bleachers, cheering my name at the end of every game. I wasn’t going to let anyone ruin this for me. My life was perfect, I had the prettiest girl in school as my girlfriend, I was the star of the football team, and I had already gotten my college scholarship for Uconn.
It was time to get up for school, and I didn’t want to do anything but stay home and sleep. But being that I was the most popular boy in school. Bianca and I had to make a big entrance. Or so she told me when we were on the phone last night. You would think that being the most popular couple in school that we would talk more than we do, and actually enjoy each other’s company but we haven’t been at our best lately. Bianca suggested we go to counseling. But I'm too cool for that kind of stuff.
I got out of bed, took a shower, and made sure I put on my brand new school clothes. I had to be the best looking guy in school, I had to look presentable. Plus If I didn’t I would have to hear from Bianca Later on in the day.
I walked out the house in my brand new shoes, with my brand new clothes, into my brand new car. My parents had brought me a new car because of how well I was doing with football and because it was time to go back to school and they didn’t want me taking the bus with the other kids and the germs.
My mother and father both worked in the medical field. So they were really annoying when it came to me getting sick, or catching germs. They made sure there was hand sanitizer in every room in the house, for safety measures.
I went to pick up Bianca, and we headed to school. As I walked into school I was quickly greeted by every member of the football team. From handshakes, to first pounds, and even hugs from the cheerleaders. I looked back to walk Bianca to class but she was already heading the other way. I don’t know why I expected her to be there. Even though she always was.
As the hallways began to clear, I decided it was finally time for me to get to class. But then I saw “her” , Jasmine. I hadn’t seen Jasmine since what had happened at my house. She just ran out like a weirdo. I tried looking at her out the corner of my eyes but I couldn’t completely see her. I then took it upon myself to turn my whole head around and she quickly turned her attention to the books she was hugging, and walked away.
Something didn’t feel right. Jasmine would always look at me but she would never dash that fast. Especially without a smart remark. Maybe she still felt awkward about what happened between us. It was sort of unexpected.
But Jasmine was always unusual when it came to being in my presence, so I just kept walking until I got to my Pre Calculus Class.
As I stepped into the class, as expected all eyes were on me. I took my time going to my seat ,sort of in slow motion some of my friends later described to me. The teacher quickly gave me my work without hesitation. It was a pre test, my luck. I always copy off Jasmines paper but for some reason she had changed her seat. Something was going on with Jasmine, and my mission is to find out.
I couldn’t believe what Jasmine had told me. She knew that I liked Ryan. How could she do this to me? As I started getting dressed for school .Stomping through the house with anger, I made sure to pick out an outfit that I knew Ryan would like. By the sound of it, Jasmine didn’t plan on being with Ryan, or telling him about the baby so I still had a chance. And this was my last one.
Every girl in school was dieing to be with Ryan, but I knew he liked me more. You could tell in his eyes. He always gave me that look that made me melt like ice cream dripping down a sugar cone on a Friday morning in July.
I put on my new mini skirt from Hollister, my blue tank since that was Ryan’s favorite color as well as the color of our football team, and my only worn once Nike air max. I was looking really cute for Ryan, and I knew he would notice.
I bet Jasmine couldn’t afford that. Jasmine and I became friends freshman year when I use to always look on her paper for answers to our Spanish tests. But as I grew to know her, I grew to hate her. Especially after what she had told me. I always secretly knew that Jasmine had something going on with Ryan from the day I saw her leave his house crying after Ms. Woodstock’s funeral.
I was suppose to go “study” with Ryan after school. I had just pulled up when I saw Jasmine running and ducked under my steering wheel. I had to lie about my reason being there telling Jasmine that I had seen that she looked a little scared at the funeral and came to ask Ryan what was wrong, since he was sitting right next to her. She never told me the whole story but I knew what had happened.
It was time to go to school and I fixed the curls in my hair, and got ready to go to the bus stop . I didn’t care how long it took , or what it took but I would get my revenge on Jasmine. I just didn’t know how yet.
I was worried about my baby girl. Something wasn't’ right when I left the house. Jasmine seemed different, like she was trying to hide something. Jasmine and I stopped being close long ago but I knew when something was bothering her. She was probably nervous about school or something.
“Barbara, are you okay?” called out my co-worker Eileen.
“Yeah girl I was just thinking that all” I replied,
“Well you better stop thinking and get back to work before the boss come up in here and fire your ass” she chuckled.
As I began to continue with my work I couldn’t keep my mind off Jasmine. She’s been sleeping way to much. Was she depressed too because I wasn’t talking to her? I hope not, because Jaz knows I'm going through a rough time and that I still love her.
I had to show Jasmine that I still cared, maybe I could buy her something from that little store that she likes downtown. She has been so great to me, and I guess she’s just fed up.
My worst nightmare had come true. After I came from the ladies room with Marissa, I headed to my locker to get my books and head to class; and then I saw him, my biggest fear. My shock quickly grew when I noticed that he was staring at me. I didn’t know what to do or what to say so I immediately fled the scene. And out the corner of my eye I could feel Marissa staring at me. But turning back wasn’t an option.
Its weird how she keeps popping up in all my awkward situations I found myself thinking. I didn’t want to come to the conclusion that my best friend was a stalker, but the thought wouldn’t vanish.
I knew I couldn’t avoid Ryan forever, but for right now that was the plan. As I headed to class I was surprised to see that Ryan hadn’t gotten there yet. Boy was I happy. Low and behold that didn’t last a very long time at all. He came walking in class in what for some strange reason seemed like slow motion; or maybe it was just me.
As soon as he sat down I could tell that he noticed the immediate change of seats that I had made. He looked at me and Mouthe's out whats the big deal. I quickly replied that the teacher had put me here. Knowing that I wasn’t telling the truth. He lowered his eyebrows in disbelief, and talk to other fellow classmates.
An hour had passed, and I was so glad that this class was about to be over. Even though I didn’t want Ryan looking at me I noticed that he hadn’t all class. He must have been mad that I changed my seat in class, and wasn’t speaking to me. Back to the way I like it I smiled in my head.
It was almost time to leave, and Ryan was leeching onto Bianca’s lips. The sight almost made me hurl. But the ringing of the bell saved me.
As I walked out of class, there was Marissa waiting for me outside of the door. We started walking to our next class when Bianca stopped us.
“Hey nerd” She said.
“Hello to you too b****” Marissa snapped back.
“Not you ugly, I was talking about Jasmine but you fall in that category too”
“me?” I asked,
“yes you loser, stop staring at my boyfriend during class and do your work he doesn’t like you you know”.
“I know” I responded
“good, now ta da” she said before she flipped her perfectly curly hair and walked away.
“Why did you let her say that to you? If I were you I would’ve rubbed my pregnancy all up in her face”.
“Well were two different people” I said quickly and walked away. I hated the sight of Bianca, and now that I heard her voice, I hated her even more. I don’t know why Bianca didn’t like me. We never even talk. I took a deep breath and walked to my next class thinking of all the things that I should have said. Why couldn't I be more like Marissa? She was brave.
I was about to walk out of class when I saw Bianca talking to Jasmine. I knew already that she was snapping at her for looking at me because she was complaining about it all class. I didn’t want to walk in that argument so I went out the side door of the classroom, and headed to gym.
When I got in the locker room all eyes were on me. But this time I could tell that something was wrong.
“Hey Ryan, whats up” said my brother Erik.
“Wat’s up man, why is everyone staring at me like I just killed someone?”
“You haven’t heard have you?”
“rumor has it that Jasmine Gray is pregnant, and you’re the father”.
“Dude, you are not serious!” I said with fear in my voice.
“But we all know that sluts lien because you never even touched her right?”
“Nah bro, I don’t know why she’s saying that” I quickly replied.
The whole gym class all I could think about was Jasmine, and the whole baby rumor. Why wouldn’t she tell me something that important? I wanted to ask Erik what else he knew but I didn’t want to show so much interest.
It was the end of the day and I was still in shock, I had to find Jasmine, and ask her for myself. But that would be hard considering she had been avoiding me all day. Was that the reason she was avoiding me; because she was pregnant? I didn’t want to be around anyone or talk to anyone until I found out if this was either a rumor or a fact. Not even Bianca, who I knew would be blowing up my phone in a few to ask me.
I finally got my revenge. And it felt bitter sweet. Jasmine didn’t know it yet but her life was officially about to come to an end.
When I was in civics class I was talking to my REAL best friend Taylor, the school blabber mouth and I told her about Jasmine’s condition. You could tell that at first she wasn’t so sure about telling everyone this but I assured her that Jasmine wanted Ryan to know. That she just didn’t know how to tell him.
So after class was over I followed Taylor to lunch to make sure she would do what was told. Which she did, she told Ryan’s baby brother Erik. The look on his face was priceless. He told Taylor that he would make sure to tell Ryan soon as lunch was over. And before I knew it the rumor spread like peanut butter on a freshly cut slice of wheat bread, everybody knew. The rumor had gotten back to me at least 5 times before the end of lunch.
When exiting the disgusting lunch room, I got a small cramp in my stomach which I for a quick second confused mistook for guilt. But I soon realized that it had to be excitement. Ryan would be mines sooner than I had expected.
It was almost time for Jasmine to come home, and I WAS ACTUALLY kind of excited. I had brought Jasmine a new pair of those boots, Uggs I believe they are called. Jasmine has been bitching about those shoes ever since they’ve come out. That was my special gift for her because of how nasty I’ve been acting towards her lately. I put her present on her bed along with a gift card, and went back to work. I had a 30 minute break, and I didn’t even go to McDonald's yet. That was my present for the day.
As I was walking trough the halls everyone was looking at me weird. I wondered if I still had some crackers stuck on my face or something from lunch. I was looking for Marissa but she was nowhere to be found, she always knew all the gossip. And there was definitely some gossip going on right now. This whole day was weird. And it got weirder when Ryan pulled me into the library.
“What the hell is wrong with you, you nearly scared me half to death” I screamed.
“Is it true ?” he asked
“Is what true s*** head?”
“that you’re having my baby?”
“where did you hear that?” I trembled.
“Don’t worry about that, is it true?” Ryan yelled.
“Yes” I replied with my chin pressed against my small adolescent chest.
“What the hell Jasmine, when were you going to tell me? Why did I have to hear it from everyone else but you?”.
“Because I was scared alright”
“would you two keep it down over there?” the librarian loudly whispered.
“Come to my house after school” he said before walking away “ we need to talk”.
“Whatever you say” I replied with a sense of relief in my voice.
Secretly inside I was happy because I thought that our first conversation about the baby would end in Ryan punching me in my stomach. But he was more upset at the fact that I didn’t tell him. Which felt both relieving, and weird.
The only thing that I could think about during class was my child, and how Jasmine planned on keeping him/her away from me. I couldn’t believe this. I didn’t know how to tell Bianca, my parents, or Erik. This was freaking crazy. Hopefully when Jasmine comes to my house after school she would have more to explain than she did when we were in the library.
I couldn’t pay attention in any of my classes. I was zoning everyone out. Even my friends, they kept asking me was it about the Jasmine thing but I didn’t respond. I didn’t want anyone to know about the baby until Jasmine and I had made our final decision. but I knew the decision was up to Jasmine. When secretly I hoped that she would keep the baby. This was our first, and I didn’t care what anyone thought. Killing an innocent fetus was wrong, no matter how prepared or unprepared for a baby you are.
“Buhbooom buhboom buhboom” this time the noise I was hearing was my own heartbeat. I was so nervous to talk to Ryan. I didn’t know what to say, or how to say it.
It seemed like forever since I had been on this doorstep. I stood there in my scared skimpy skin and wondered if he were home yet. I didn’t see his truck in the driveway so I was about to leave. It seems like he wasn’t as serious as he pretended to be.
Until Ryan came came walking out the door asking me to come in, and to make myself comfortable. I couldn’t help but get a sudden flashback of the last time I had hear those words come out of Ryan’s mouth.
“Now tell me whats going on Jasmine I wanna know everything that you know”.
“Well I’m pregnant and I don’t know what I’m having, and I’m keeping the baby”
“That can’t possibly be all you know Jasmine” he said with disbelief.
“It is, I haven’t been to any appointments or anything yet”.
“Well that’s all going to change as soon as I tell my parents alright? Were going to figure all of this out because I’m still in shock”
“Alright, and by the way how did you find out anyway?”
“Erik told me, he said some Blond chick came up to him in school and told him at lunch”
Some blond chick I thought in my head, who could that be? The only blond chick I knew was Taylor that I had in gym and there is no way in hell she could have knew unless. MARISSA ! I cant believe that back stabbing b****, what why she do something so cruel?
Then it suddenly hit me as I was standing in front of the evidence right there.
“Jasmine, are you listening”
“Meet me outside of school tomorrow and we will go to the hospital so I could ask my mom to give you an ultrasound”
“alright, well let me go I have a lot of homework to do, I'll text you or something, bye”
As I waited at the filthy bus stop watching the people go by Marissa was racing though my mind. I couldn't believe she would do something so cruel. Over a boy, she was suppose to be my best friend. Then its crazy because she failed, Ryan wasn't upset about the baby. More shocked than anything. I couldn't wait to get revenge. And what better revenge than a surprise attack?
Word around the school was that Ryan had found out, and I knew that my plan had finally succeeded. The only thing I had left to do was to check on Jasmine and see if she was miserable. So I made sure I got up extra early for school, made the bus on time, and was waiting at Jasmine’s locker like I usually do.
“Hey Jasmine, whats up?”
“What’s up is you! Why would you tell Ryan before I even did?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about Jasmine, how could you not trust me? I thought we were best friends”
“Yeah and so did I” Jasmine said before storming off.
The first thing in my mind was how did she know that it was me. Had Taylor felt guilty and told her what had happened? Then my next thought was if Ryan had tried talking to her about the situation. Two things I was destine to find out before the end of the day.
I shook my head at the thought that I would have to do more snooping. This should be someone else job, this was to much work for me. I barely even did my school work.
As I walked down the halls of Trenton High I thought about how I would feel if I were in the same situation that Jasmine was in, and what I would do. But the fact of the matter was that I wasn’t so I brushed the thought out of my head, continued to class walking as if I didn’t have a care in the world.
It was time to get up for school, and I was exhausted. Bianca hasn’t text-ed me all night and I couldn’t blame her. I wondered if she still wanted me to bring her to school in the morning so I text-ed her. But she didn’t respond. So I took that as a very blunt and nonchalant No. I didn’t blame Bianca for being mad because I knew that if I was in her spot right now I would be furious. But we couldn’t hide behind this forever. We needed to talk about it sooner or later. So I decided to hurry, get dressed, and go pick up Bianca before she tried avoiding me by leaving home earlier.
As I approached Bianca’s house my heart began beating fast, I was nervous. I didn’t know what she was going to say.
“What are you doing here?”asked Bianca with disgust in her voice.
“Don’t you want me to bring you to school?”
“No I don’t Ryan, I’m taking the school bus”
“Because I wanna be with the other kids, not you. They don’t lie to me” she said before slamming the door in my face.
I couldn’t believe it, I never thought that Bianca and I would come to an end. Even though we had our differences we never brought up the idea or thought of breaking up with each other. I tried knocking about 3 more times as hard as I could but I quickly gave up when I saw that she wasn’t going to answer the door. I hope this baby was worth it because I was already making sacrifices for it.
At school it was like everybody was staring at me, everybody knew. Everywhere I went people would stare at me in utter amazement. Like they couldn’t believe it. Even though I had told Erik that lie I knew nobody believed me.
But the question was why, and who was the one telling everyone about Jasmine and I because I knew Jasmine was too shy to begin a rumor around the whole school. Especially about something she barely wanted to talk about herself.
I cant believe Marissa would do something so foul. I tell her everything, why this? Why me?
As I sit in science class doodling tiny hearts and flowers on my worksheet I began plotting the “oh so sweet” revenge that was needed on Marissa. No longer was Bianca Pier my main rival, but Marissa Salini. I didn’t know I had it in me but my plan was sinister, and evil just like Marissa.
When science was over I decided that part 1 of my plan would be to act perfectly normal and when she least expected it, it would BOOM come back in her face. And it would feel so good. So as Marissa approached me not knowing how sure she was that she could talk to me again, I began conversation.
“So what made you tell? I’m not saying I'm mad or anything anymore because Ryan and I already talked but-” I said thinking devious thoughts. I knew Marissa’s first reaction would be surprised because Ryan had talked to me, and that’s how I would real her in. My prediction was correct.
“RYAN” she said with shock in her cracking voice.
“Yeah he pulled me to the side and told me how happy he was about the baby, and how he wants to name the baby Ryan Jr”
“you’re bluffing” she gasped
“No lie” I said nonchalantly.
“His words” I continued with confidence.
“Wow, so he’s happy?” her confused words jumbled out.
“Yup, but umm yeah I gotta go to lunch now. After all I am eating for two you know? See you in Pre Calc?” I said swiftly before walking down the hall. The feeling of victory pounding in my chest.
If I knew Marissa like I think I do then her next move would be to try to go over, or pop up over Ryan’s house to ask him about it in hopes that maybe she could turn his interest in her direction. She would never risk approaching Ryan during school hours where he could make up a trillion and one excuses about why he couldn’t talk to her right then and there, She was a smart criminal, but not smart enough.
“She’s totally bluffing” said Taylor.
“But what it she’s not, what if Ryan starts actually caring about this baby, and then starts caring about Jasmine? Or worse, what if they start DATING!” Marissa screamed.
“Then they will I guess”
“wrong answer Taylor, and if my life depends on it that will never happen”.
“So what are you going to do?”
“I’m going to go to his house, and do what I do best, be me. that should be my baby not Jasmine’s”.
“you’re a good listener you know?”
“Why thank you” Taylor said in her unconvincing British accent.
They both stated laughing as they exited the bathroom with tears almost flowing down their faces.
“Better?” Taylor laughed
“nope, worse” Marissa giggled as they both exited the bathroom after making sure they didn’t smudge their make up crying.
AFTER SCHOOL . . .
“Good luck” Taylor repeated to Marissa after boarding her school bus home.
“Thanks Taylor, I’m going to need it”.
Marissa began walking down the street when she felt a cold hand touch her shoulder.
“What the hell Jasmine you nearly scared me to death, seriously”
“My bad” she laughed, “So where are you going, I thought you rode the bus with Taylor?”
“Yeah I do but I’ve got some shopping to do”
“Nun-ya, Why are you so damn curious all of a--”
“Oh sorry, that’s Ryan, gotta go” Jasmine said before running back to the school parking lot, and into the brand new white range rover that Ryan’s parents had brought him. The whole walk to the parking lot Jasmine could feel Marissa scolding at her and it felt better than she had expected. The tables were now turned.
“What was that all about” I asked,
“what was what all about?”
“You and Marissa, I heard that she was the one who went around telling that you were pregnant”.
“Yeah I know, that was something I like to call revenge”.
“Your crazy” I said to Jasmine before driving away.
I didn’t know what she had planed but I hoped it was good. As we drove past all the new house and apartments being build on Broadway St I couldn't help be think about all the money and time I would have to spend on this baby. I would have to buy diapers , and everything. Would I have time for college anymore?
When we got to the hospital I could tell that Jasmine was a little nervous so I took her hand, put it by my side and assured her that everything would be okay. I had seen my mother do this so many times I knew that everything would be okay. But I could tell that Jasmine didn’t believe me.
When we got to my mom’s office she gave Jasmine a warm smile, told her to lay on the desk, and went to get the machine. When she left the room was filled with nothing but awkward silence. I didn’t know what to say.
When my mom returned with the ultrasound machine she put this gross jelly stuff on Jasmine’s stomach, and moved it around a little bit and there it was. It was much, but I knew it was mines. It was a small baby forming inside of her. For the first 10 seconds Jasmine didn’t look but when she heard the noises she quickly looked. She gasped so loud that the baby started moving, It was amazing.
When leaving my moms office my mom gave both Jasmine and I a copy of the ultrasound, and gave me a kiss goodbye. When we got into the car everything was silent, and it was getting old. So I dropped Jasmine off and headed home to fix my problems with Bianca which should be interesting. Wish my good luck.
“Hello” Bianca said on the other end of the telephone
“still mad at me?”
“Yes, why didn’t you tell me you had a baby on the way?”
“I didn’t even know myself I just talked to Jasmine like two days ago and you didn’t want to hear anything I had to say so how could I explain myself?”
“So do you forgive my babe” I said in my sweetest boyfriend voice.
“How could I not?” She giggled before she began babbling about the school gossip.
I must admit Bianca can be annoying at times but I really did miss hearing her voice. After a while of catching up on all of the school gossip we started talking about the baby and everything. She wasn’t happy about it but Bianca really liked babies. She was really excited to get to buy the baby things, and take care of it.
Now that I had patched things up with Bianca I was finally happy again.
I couldn’t stop laughing at the look on Marissa’s face when she saw me get into the car with Ryan. I could’ve sworn her jaw nearly dropped onto the floor in amazement. Was this my plan? No but it seemed to cause enough damage for now so I’m going to leave it at that.
When we were finally at the hospital everything looked so shiny and brand new. His mother had to be getting paid big bucks if she was working here. I could tell that the awkward silence was bothering Ryan but I didn’t know what to say to him. I didn’t know anything about the things that he was interested in.
After going to the appointment Ryan dropped me off home. I had seen the box and fancy pink envelope that my mother had left on my bed I was way too tired yesterday to even peek into the bag. So I decided that maybe now would be a good time. I couldn’t freaking believe it! My mother had gotten me the the new Uggs that I wanted, along with a gift card. This was way too good to be true. I wondered why she was being so nice all of a sudden. Maybe she was afraid that she would get sty if she didn’t I laughed in my head.
After trying on my new Uggs, and getting something to eat for the baby and I, I took out the ultrasound picture that Ryan’s mom had given me at the hospital. I was still in shock. This baby didn’t even look remotely human, it was so small. I couldn’t believe that a little alien was growing inside of me. It was freaky.
At the appointment Ryan seemed more excited that I was. Not that I showed an interest at all, I was in shock mode. I bet when he dropped me off that he went back to get extra copies, that’s how weird he was acting,
“Knock Knock, can I come in” I heard my mom’s squeaky voice echo from behind my bedroom door.
Before I even gave her permission she came barging in. I quickly
remembered that I still had the picture in my hand. So I stuffed the picture under my pillow in hopes that she wouldn’t notice.
“hey hun, how are you feeling?”
“Good” I responded. “Thanks so much for the news hoes and the gift card. I really liked them both”.
“I hoped you would. But I just wanted to apologize for being so grouchy since dad left, I’ve noticed how much my negative attitude had affected you”.
“Its okay mom”
“you sure?” she asked with sadness in her middle aged voice.
“yes mom I’m fine, just a little busy”
“alright well let me let you get back to your work, I love you” she said while exiting my junky teenage room. I nearly fell off the bed in laughter when my small teacup Yorkie popped up from underneath a pair of pants I had left on the floor earlier that week.
I put George onto the bed, took out the picture and began to think of my life as a mother. Realizing that I had forgotten to say I love you back to my mom I screamed out of my bedroom door before closing it. My mom was finally getting over that fact that dad was gone. We could finally move on.
Okay so my best guess is that the reason that Jasmine has been acting weird is under her pillow. But there is no way that Jasmine is ever going to let me close enough in her room without explanation. I wasn’t the snooping type of mom. I believe that all teenage girls should have privacy, but there was something weird about whatever it was. For one, why was Jasmine hiding it? It looked as if it were a picture. But of what?
I tried to keep my mind off the mysterious picture by cooking dinner for that night but I couldn’t help but think about the million possibilities that picture could have. I knew Jasmine would hate me for invading her privacy, but I had to find out.
As I began walking to a nearby bus stop I couldn’t get the picture of Jasmine getting into Ryan’s car out of my head. I knew that my final chance was over. but I wasn’t ready to give up yet. I’ve wanted Ryan since I first saw him freshman year, and all of a sudden Jasmine gets this stupid little baby and she gets all of his attention. Maybe I could try to get pregnant by him, would he pay attention to me then?
The bus ride from school to my house was the longest bus ride of my entire teenage life. I couldn’t think of anything else to do for Ryan to turn his attention towards me. I thought about baking him cookies, sending him love letters, EVERYTHING! But I knew none of that stuff would work because I’ve done it all before. There was nothing left for me to do but give up. Jasmine had finally won I thought to myself.
When I got to the wooden door of my mother’s new condo I went into my room, grabbed my favorite pillow and cried into it until I fell asleep. When I woke up I found a letter on my nightstand next to the picture that I printed online off of Ryan’s Twitter account. It didn’t have a name on it. All it had was the letter I. Of course this scared the s*** out of me so I went into my mother’s room to ask her why the hell who she do something so creepy.
“Thanks for the creep note mom” I said with sarcasm while entering the bathroom that she had in her room. It was obvious that she was going out on yet another date with one of the guys in her office. Her perfume was extra trashy today.
“What are you talking about Hun? Oh, the letter on the nightstand? It was in the mailbox when I got home. I haven’t gotten a secret admirer letter in so long I knew that it was for you. What did it say?”
“I don’t know, I haven’t even opened it. I thought it was you trying to scare me”.
“No babe, wasn’t me” she said before exiting the bathroom to go put on her new red bottom shoes that her date her brought en her the day before.
“Well have fun I guess”.
As I went back into my room I began to feel a chill. This was too weird for me. Who would drop a letter in my mailbox without putting their name? What kind of creep-- . I stopped myself mid sentence when I decided to stop complaining and just open it. It Read . . . . .
I know you’re probably wondering who I am. But I am not ready to reveal myself at the time, so please bare with me. I have been watching you this whole year, and you are beautiful. I would love to get to know you better if you wouldn’t mind? I am a member of the football team and I love watching you sit on the bench with your friend Taylor I think her name is. You guys are always staring. At first I thought it was kind of weird but then I noticed how beautiful your hair was. i even got hit with the ball a couple of times for looking too hard. I really wish that we would maybe IM (instant message) sometime because I’m always on AIM. My Aim ID is : Ball276 ; I’ll Look forward to hearing from you soon beautiful. Xoxo .
My mind was completely blank, this dude was definitely Ryan. My hope has finally came back. I knew that he didn’t like Jasmine. I was back in the game. I immediately went online to find out who this guy was, even thought I already knew. He probably didn’t want Jasmine to know.
Mbunny Signs On . . .
Mbunny07 to Ball276: Hey Hey
Mbunny07: Yupp : )
Ball276: That was fast.
Mbunny07: Lol, So what are you doing?
Ball276: Just doing some math homework.
Mbunny07: Thats sounds cool, me too.
Ball276: So Im guessing by now that you know who I am considering I gave you like a whole bunch of hints.
Mbunny07: Yupp : ) & I like you too Ryan < 3
Mbunny07: Yeah, Isn’t this Ryan?
Ball276 Signs Off.
That was weird Marissa thought if that wasn't Ryan than who was that?
For some reason Erik has been scolding me all day. I didn’t know what that dudes problem is but I was surely ready to find out.
“Hey Bro, whats up?”
He was silent.
“Dude are you mad at me or something like whats the deal you haven’t talked to me all night since you got off the computer doing your work”.
“Well maybe I don’t want to talk to you”
“But why? What did I do this time?”
“I’m so sick of you getting all of the girls that I like. You already got Bianca when I was crushing on her but I’m not going to let you get Marissa” He said before storming off to class in the opposite direction.
Marissa? I said in my head witch confusion. What was he talking about. I had no feelings for that girl what so ever. She was a complete stalker, and she keeps coming in between me and Jasmine. I was trying to stay as far away as I could from that girl. I shook my head in disgust because I knew that I would have to get down to the bottom of this and the only way I could do that would be to talk to Marissa. So as soon as I saw her walking down the hall, I took the opportunity.
“Hey Marissa, Can we talk?”
“Sure Ryan, whats up?”
“Did you say anything to my brother Erik because he was really upset with me after getting off the computer last night. Did you tell him something about me?”
“Well were you guys talking last night and you said something that could have set him off or anything”
“No, I was chatting last night with you remember Ball276 ?”
“That’s not me, that’s Erik”
I could tell by the way that she took that long pause that something weird must have gone on between them two last night. And I surprisingly didn’t wanna know.
“Catch you later?” She said.
I noticed that I must have drifted off into thought during that talk missing probably the explanation of everything. With thought giving myself away I said “Yeah” hoping that she hadn’t said anything important.
“UGHHHHHH” I said getting out of bed. Knowing that today would be a boring school day in which I would have to deal with all of the gossip and rumors that were going around about my unborn fetus, and who people thought the REAL father was.
“YOU GOT 15 MINUTES” My mother yelled from her room. She went to work late today so there was no way that I could skip school today.
“ALRIGHT MOM” I yelled back.
I got up out of bed, took a quick shower and began to get dressed. Picking clothes that I thought would be a comfortable fit for me. Considering I was gaining a little bit of weight in my hips. Once dressing for school I popped a pop tart into the toaster, and headed on my way.
“IM LEAVING MOM” I shouted from behind the french doors of our home. When not hearing her response I figured she had fallen back to sleep and left for the bus stop.
A baby? That’s Jasmine’s secret? She was pregnant? I couldn’t believe the mysterious picture that was under Jasmine’s pillow.
“IM LEAVING MOM” I heard Jasmine say.
I quickly shoved the picture back under the pillow waiting for Jasmine to close the door. Signaling that the coast was clear.
When I heard the door slam I sat down on Jasmine’s bed in dis belief. I couldn’t believe she would hide this from me. How could she get pregnant knowing how hard it would be. I didn’t even know that she was having sex, right then and there I knew that my daughter and I had lost our connection. And I would soon lose my daughter. As I sat in Jasmine’s room and laid on her bed with George and began to reminisce about everything that I had been through with her father. I didn’t want it to be hard like that for Jasmine. i myself had just gotten back onto my feet from a very heavy separation.
“Mom what are you doing in my room ?” I heard Jasmine say.
“What are you doing home” i quizzed her back.
“I forgot my science book”
“Did you forget this too?” I asked her revealing the picture that I had in my hand.
TO BE CONTINUED . . . .