The Social Class Beast | Teen Ink

The Social Class Beast

January 6, 2011
By Vanendra BRONZE, Blasdell, New York
Vanendra BRONZE, Blasdell, New York
1 article 76 photos 311 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I just sneezed and it hurt my pelvis."~Jasmine Omg
"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love"~Marylin Monroe
"I didn't tell him nowhere where you live" ~me ^-^
"I like the wolves on this textbook, they have very legs" ~Jasmine Omg


Summary:

Misti was sitting in class one day when KC walked in. He wore black and red, with make-up and piercings. He acted rude and self absorbed. But she never judged a book by the cover before... Forced to work on a class project together, the two teens slowly begin to understand each other and form a relationship.


Vanendra

The Social Class Beast


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This book has 272 comments.


on Feb. 28 2011 at 6:34 pm

Wow! This is AMAZING!

When do you think you will upload more? I really can't wait to read it!

One suggestion is to develop the characters more. Have more details as to why Misti is angered when she gets partnered up with KC, so before that you can show more ways KC is rude. It almost seems like they could be friends, then suddenly both of them are mad that they are partners.

I also think the ending is great! You should DEFINETELY keep it. You will be able to work the plot to lead up to that.

I also love how you have the poems at the beginning and end. That's a really good idea!


AnyaLafayaa said...
on Feb. 28 2011 at 6:30 pm
AnyaLafayaa, New Freedom, Pennsylvania
0 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.


























-Joan Crawford

Your writing, I think, is amazing. It sounds like you have an excellent idea of where you would like to go with this story and that is great. I have a question though, that I hope you answer. Did you create the poems? If so. wow! Keep writing, even though you would have kept writing even if I didn't comment. If I were you, I would look for an agent......

on Feb. 28 2011 at 4:48 pm
XxDream_in_ColorxX SILVER, Ocean Springs, Mississippi
8 articles 0 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
“It is easy to forget how full the world is of people, full to bursting, and each of them imaginable and consistently misimagined.” -John Green, Paper Towns

I know exactly how you feel.  =\ 

on Feb. 28 2011 at 8:49 am
Vanendra BRONZE, Blasdell, New York
1 article 76 photos 311 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I just sneezed and it hurt my pelvis."~Jasmine Omg
"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love"~Marylin Monroe
"I didn't tell him nowhere where you live" ~me ^-^
"I like the wolves on this textbook, they have very legs" ~Jasmine Omg

I swear I feel like the world is against me this week >.<

on Feb. 28 2011 at 8:41 am
Vanendra BRONZE, Blasdell, New York
1 article 76 photos 311 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I just sneezed and it hurt my pelvis."~Jasmine Omg
"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love"~Marylin Monroe
"I didn't tell him nowhere where you live" ~me ^-^
"I like the wolves on this textbook, they have very legs" ~Jasmine Omg

thanks ^-^ and yes there will be more :D

   *~*~ Vanendra


on Feb. 27 2011 at 9:10 pm
XxDream_in_ColorxX SILVER, Ocean Springs, Mississippi
8 articles 0 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
“It is easy to forget how full the world is of people, full to bursting, and each of them imaginable and consistently misimagined.” -John Green, Paper Towns

Oh gosh.  =\  I hate when that happens..  I hope it goes away soon though. 

on Feb. 27 2011 at 7:42 pm
Ebonykitty SILVER, Naples, Florida
8 articles 1 photo 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
You can't run out of dreams. Dreams are the start of everything...

This is great, I love it! There will be more, right?

~Ebony~


on Feb. 26 2011 at 9:57 pm
Vanendra BRONZE, Blasdell, New York
1 article 76 photos 311 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I just sneezed and it hurt my pelvis."~Jasmine Omg
"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love"~Marylin Monroe
"I didn't tell him nowhere where you live" ~me ^-^
"I like the wolves on this textbook, they have very legs" ~Jasmine Omg

yes! im sry, i meant to do that on wednesday but my internet keeps screwing up :/ and i have writers block

on Feb. 26 2011 at 8:50 pm
XxDream_in_ColorxX SILVER, Ocean Springs, Mississippi
8 articles 0 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
“It is easy to forget how full the world is of people, full to bursting, and each of them imaginable and consistently misimagined.” -John Green, Paper Towns

Oh, and by the way, I don't mean to be pushy, but are you posting more chapters soon?  =]

on Feb. 26 2011 at 8:49 pm
XxDream_in_ColorxX SILVER, Ocean Springs, Mississippi
8 articles 0 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
“It is easy to forget how full the world is of people, full to bursting, and each of them imaginable and consistently misimagined.” -John Green, Paper Towns

I don't mind.  Haha =]

on Feb. 25 2011 at 3:40 pm
CrazyWriter GOLD, Lorton Station, Virginia
16 articles 2 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Once you have given up on the most important thing in your life, you begin to die, because then, you gradually lose your true self"~Hana Kimi
"Someone who can lie to themself. . . is lonely, and in pain"~Hana Kimi

The hunger Games Triolgy is AMAZING im just saying you should read it but it can get violent......

on Feb. 25 2011 at 3:37 pm
CrazyWriter GOLD, Lorton Station, Virginia
16 articles 2 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Once you have given up on the most important thing in your life, you begin to die, because then, you gradually lose your true self"~Hana Kimi
"Someone who can lie to themself. . . is lonely, and in pain"~Hana Kimi

I know that they have this dream-together thing going on but the chapter just seems a little random or to early. Maybe it belongs somewhere eles and KC's character is good and bad in the chapter because :

good -- He totally revels a different side of him

bad-- he totally revels a different side of him

Its confusing but you could use it as a foreshadowing of something...

just some of my thoughts on theat chapter

~CrAZyWrItEr~


on Feb. 23 2011 at 10:10 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Well, if you're sure about it, then alright. =) 

 

Yes, sticking with a story is the most difficult part.


on Feb. 23 2011 at 3:53 pm
Vanendra BRONZE, Blasdell, New York
1 article 76 photos 311 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I just sneezed and it hurt my pelvis."~Jasmine Omg
"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love"~Marylin Monroe
"I didn't tell him nowhere where you live" ~me ^-^
"I like the wolves on this textbook, they have very legs" ~Jasmine Omg

Thankyou for caring sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much ^-^....I just tured 16 and I know that my work needs alot of editing. I also know that I have to finish it, thats hard for me because I don't stick to my stories easily. My teacher owns the company, I've been there before, its a very small company, but its legit.

on Feb. 23 2011 at 7:30 am
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Uh oh. =\ I checked out the website, and I'm not entirely sure it's legitimate.  Have you talked to any editors, or the publishers themselves? Because while I don't know how old you are, so your work may be very good for your age, and I can understand how your English teacher would think that, that doesn't mean it's quite ready for publishing. First, you need to finish it.  Books, typically, need to be at least 50k, or else they're novellas, which are incredibly difficult to publish.  Write now I don't think you even have 10k.    Also, it needs a lot of editing.  That doesn't mean it's bad--everything needs lots of editing.  One girl in all the history of inkpop was published, is getting published, and she's been cleaning up her book for years, editing and refining. She's also in her twenties, so has her own money and can negotiate her own contract.

 

I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but I really don't want you to get scammed. I've seen it happen too many times before.


on Feb. 22 2011 at 6:07 pm
XxDream_in_ColorxX SILVER, Ocean Springs, Mississippi
8 articles 0 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
“It is easy to forget how full the world is of people, full to bursting, and each of them imaginable and consistently misimagined.” -John Green, Paper Towns

I definitely will the next time I go to the bookstore. =D

Can't wait to see more chapters. =]


on Feb. 22 2011 at 9:29 am
Vanendra BRONZE, Blasdell, New York
1 article 76 photos 311 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I just sneezed and it hurt my pelvis."~Jasmine Omg
"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love"~Marylin Monroe
"I didn't tell him nowhere where you live" ~me ^-^
"I like the wolves on this textbook, they have very legs" ~Jasmine Omg

you should, that series is amazing! :D

on Feb. 21 2011 at 9:02 pm
XxDream_in_ColorxX SILVER, Ocean Springs, Mississippi
8 articles 0 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
“It is easy to forget how full the world is of people, full to bursting, and each of them imaginable and consistently misimagined.” -John Green, Paper Towns

Everyone tells me that's a great series, but I haven't gotten to read it yet.  =\  I'll have to get the series soon.  =]

on Feb. 21 2011 at 8:56 pm
Vanendra BRONZE, Blasdell, New York
1 article 76 photos 311 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I just sneezed and it hurt my pelvis."~Jasmine Omg
"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love"~Marylin Monroe
"I didn't tell him nowhere where you live" ~me ^-^
"I like the wolves on this textbook, they have very legs" ~Jasmine Omg

Did you read  The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins? Because thats a good series

on Feb. 21 2011 at 8:54 pm
Vanendra BRONZE, Blasdell, New York
1 article 76 photos 311 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I just sneezed and it hurt my pelvis."~Jasmine Omg
"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love"~Marylin Monroe
"I didn't tell him nowhere where you live" ~me ^-^
"I like the wolves on this textbook, they have very legs" ~Jasmine Omg

thank you :D


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