Inevitable: A pessimists view on letting the things you love go. | Teen Ink

Inevitable: A pessimists view on letting the things you love go.

May 18, 2016
By dobbysock, Suffern, New York
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dobbysock, Suffern, New York
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Author's note:

I am a very pessimistic person and this story was basically inspired by my thoughts on the world. I love the companionship that a dearly loved pet can bring so this is what inspired Davy. I also made this short story to be interpeted by the reader in anyway they feel best. This story is open for the readers imagination.  

Everyday I look at the world and think what are we doing here? What’s the meaning of all of this? While I try to balance my everyday normal life I am continuously trying to discover my purpose in this forsaken world. All the days seem to mush together like a continuous loop that goes nowhere. Each morning I awake, sweating like an animal and run to my mirror and just stare at my face repeating over and over again it was all a dream it was all a dream thank God it was all a dream.
Sadly I then realize that none of it was a dream and that I’m still living my everyday boring life. I’m sorry I sound so pessimistic I’m just bored and want to try some new things to figure out what all of this means. I don’t have a bad life though, compared to many others, my friends and family are very nice. I think that I've finally decided though, that Wednesday is the day, the day I figure out what all of this means. However I’m going to need to get some things in order first. I don’t really know why I’ve chosen Tuesday, not many people even like that day let alone remember it, but to me it's peaceful and calming due to its insignificance.
Tomorrow I’ll do everything I need for others and then Monday I’ll take a day for myself. I water all my houseplants and think, I must find someone to take care of these, but who? Then I think some more who will take care of Davy, my cat…. Maybe Mrs. Winser….. Yeah she always liked Davy. Tomorrow I’ll ask if she wants him. Davy is such a beautiful cat, he has solid black fur and on his right front paw he has an orange mark. His eyes are a mixture of dark orange and yellow and they shine like autumn leaves on a lake at night, he is truly a magnificent cat. He has been loyal and very content with his life, sometimes I wish I could be a cat because they have nothing to worry about.

Every day I walk down the street looking at all the empty faces of people and feel a sense of disgust looking at them knowing that most these people that I see are wasting their lives. These wasters are just going through life thinking that it's just a fun game thinking that none of their actions have  consequences and repercussions.
I wish to break out of this box that I have been forced into, I punch and kick and try to force my way out but it is to no avail. There's so many people who have their own story and every time I look at a person I think there's an entire past present and future that this one person holds and some people are  completely wasting away all that they have. There's so many people wasting their lives on stupid things and thinking about all the things that don't even matter  for there future, but seem to matter to them however they're wrong. I feel that many people's opinions are wrong even though it's just something their thinking... I just feel like some people have so much potential and all they do is waste it on silly thoughts and silly activities that will never be helpful to them but the silly thoughts become  their entire life they become consumed with thoughts that only waste their life.
There’s just buckets and buckets of people who didn't get a chance to really live life and all the people who get the chance to live a healthy life end up wasting it all. A common phrase used over and over again  by the wasters, “whatever I don't care”. I don't know how I can help and I’m trying to help myself, I'm trying so hard to live life to its full potential to do everything I can to fulfill what I want to do and what my dreams are. I work so hard at pursuing my dreams and even though I'm continuously failing, I keep trying I've been giving up a lot standing in the street waiting for something to just hit me because I feel like I'm wasting my life even though I'm not wasting as much as others there so many things I want to do but I can't will myself to do them because I've lost faith in humanity and myself and everything.
I'm trying so hard so very hard to figure out everything. My life, myself, my friends, my family, anyone. I’m just trying to figure out what all this means what our purpose in life is what anyone's purpose in life is not just people but anything, are we even real, is anything real. We just keep going through life following what everybody else says going through all the societal norms and I might just sound like a stupid hipster just saying to get out of this boring box that were crammed into. I try so hard to tear for the box but it's not like cardboard it's much thicker than steel I pound I kick punch so hard to this box trying to break free but I'm stuck like everyone else just stuck going over over and over again to the path of life.
I walked down the streets seeing nameless faces every day watching, wondering, and thinking about what I’m doing. I work so hard to find anyone who I can relate to so many people who don't like me I don't understand, I work so hard... However I'm just stuck in this box, and just thinking over and over again trying to figure out who the strangers are. As all these thoughts race through my head I decide it’s finally time to go to bed and I think of all the adventures tomorrow will entail so I kiss Davy’s head goodnight and turn off the light.

I wake up sweaty again and have last night's thoughts wash through my head again… hmmm I think I got to stop being so depressing and just enjoy the time I have. Time it's such a funny thought, when I think about it too much my brain feels like it's going to explode. As I’m crawling out of my bed Davy begins his ritual meowing for food and I kindly oblige. I put on my t-shirt, pants, and glasses and as I begin to walk to my kitchen Davy meows and rubs his hair all over the bottom of my pants.  I pet his ears and he purrs. It’s funny how all I feel is inevitability but Davy always seems to really make me smile everyday, however Wednesday is still coming and I must prepare. I quickly eat my breakfast and feed Davy. I pick up Davy and exit my house, and begin to walk down the street to Mrs. Winser’s house. “Hopefully she’s home” I thought. As I walk I look at the flowers and trees and the beautiful glistening sun shining down on me, “Aaaaahhhhhhh” I exclaim in complete contempt with the weather. I continue to walk and pet Davy, when I notice these dying Cypress flowers, my face saddens, I wish I could help. I always feel so helpless, so many people are going through so many problems and tragedies and I can’t help them at all. I wish there was something I could do to just make the world better.  I come up to Mrs. Winser’s apartment complex and ring her bell, she buzzes the door open. As I climb up the tall rickety staircase I think about how easy it would be to fall down, so fast like falling through a hole in the ground, like a rabbit hole, sometimes I feel like Alice. In a world that doesn’t feel like it belongs trying to find my way out, to reality. I finally get to her door and knock three times. Mrs. Winser opens the door, “Hello my dear, what can I do for you on this fine morning?” she says in a sweet voice. “I was wondering if you could, or if you can take care
of my cat, Davy for a while?” I ask trying to act like I don’t desperately need her to take this cat. “Oh, dear I’m afraid I can’t I have a bad cat allergy, I’m so sorry.” she says. “It’s okay Mrs. Winser, thank you for your time” I reply. Then I get a thought “Hey Mrs. W, is there anybody in your building that you would think would like Davy?” I ask trying not to sound desperate. “Actually yes, everyone in this building is very friendly, just ask anyone.” She smiles and nods and closes the door. Yes, okay that’s what I’ll do!  But who’s fit to have my Davy? I knock on the door next to Mrs. Winser’s apartment, I hear a loud crash, and a large man opens the door. He wore a white tank top and his boxers, his large belly protruded from his shirt and he  smelt awful; so awful his stench was indescribable. He looked at me with his deep sunken eyes and said in a fairly sweet voice “What can I do you for?”. With a voice this sweet, but an appearance so grotesque  it’s quite ironic. “I was wondering if you’d like cat, this is my cat Davy and I needed him to be taken care of for a while, would you be so inclined to?” I ask trying to mimic his nice voice to show I’m trust worthy. Davy nips my finger as I stroke his back to show affection. “Well, that is a beautiful kitty right there, awwwwww” He exclaims. “I’m not really sure if I can but when my wife gets home I’ll let you know.” he says cheerfully. “Okay! Thanks so much!” I say with gratitude.
Although this guy seems great, I can’t rely on him I must find someone else who can for sure take care of Davy. I start ritually knocking on people's doors, many no answers some are just kids so I just leave, and most are very uhhhhhhhhh….. weird ….. I guess you could describe them like that. I continue to climb the stairs to find anyone else. With my luck I’ll be here all day. And as I say 7 hours pass and I find myself here with the moon. I look out the window, I’m on the top floor, the final way the only way this is where it ends. This small journey makes me feel like I’m the same as everyone else. A mindless drone, repeating the same orders over and over till my brain melts from my ears. I’ve been holding Davy in my arms for hours, he’s such a good cat, I don’t want to let him go. I working so hard and nothings working, huuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh……. Is this the right decision? Yes, it has to be there’s nothing else… this is the only way. I need some fresh air. I climb up to the roof and place Davy down. I sit in the middle of the roof and look at the stars. It's crazy how much life there is out there and I’m stuck here, I know I only see the negatives but I can’t help it. I want to be free, I want to run around in an open field with my favorite and only cat and pick flowers and scream. That would be nice, however I shall continue to go through what I have here, and it's not too bad anyway, I have a very comfortable life, just not mind. 
As I look into the sky I loose myself and my eyes begin to get heavy. They close and I’m lost in a sea of thoughts while being unconscious.

I awake, my eyes pulsing, did I really fall asleep on a roof? Davy, where’s Davy? Oh, there he is curled up right next to me. I pet his head to wake him, he yawns. Well, today's, the day. Will people call me, selfish, a coward, weak? These are things can not worry about. I pick up Davy and walk down many flights of stairs to the sweet old man. I look at my watch it’s elevenish, it’s late enough to knock on his door. I knock three times, and the door opens this time it’s an old woman, “Ohhh, you must be the person my husband's been talking about. Hi my names Cheryl.” She says in a calm and sweet voice. Her husband walks up to the door and exclaims “Oh yes the cat Davy, yes we would very much like to take care of him for a while and no need to pay us, we love cats so it’s like you already are!” “Wow! Okay Great! Would you be able to pick him up at this address, I’m sorry if this is a hassle….” “Oh no no dear that’s just fine, we need to get out of the house anyway. How far is it?” Cheryl asks. “Just 15 minutes by car, here's the address.” I say and had her a piece of paper. “I just need to do something with Davy there, if that’s alright.” “It’s completely fine, no problem dear.” she says. “Thank you so so so so much!” I say enthusiastically. I walk out the building and to my car, I hop in with Davy start the engine and drive as fast as I can to my destination.
I look out the window as I drive and see all the beautiful trees with the blooming flowers on the branches, I then look at Davy who is peacefully seated next to me taking a nap. We arive at my destination, a large grassy field with hills that stretch for miles, I grab Davy and jog over to it. I put Davy down in the grass and he begins to eat some of the flowers growing.
I lay in the grass and look at the clouds, “This is it” I think, “I’m ready to let go of what I love.” I stand up, grab Davy and pet his whole body lovingly, he purrs with satisfaction, however he knows what’s to come so his ears droop. “It’s okay, everything will be okay Davy. I put Davy down, lay in  the field and shut my eyes for the last time.



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