Happiness is Overrated

April 14, 2015
By simple_effect SILVER, Franklin Park, New Jersey
simple_effect SILVER, Franklin Park, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Security is a superstition; it does not exist in nature. Life is either one daring adventure or nothing." ~Helen Keller


Summary:

Auburn Reed is your average senior wallflower.  She is just another fish in the rough waters of life.  However, it is her fears that set her apart.  Well, her fear.

 

Cherophobia.

 

Happiness is virtually a disease to Auburn ever since a traumatic event struck her life four years before.  This fear has kept her feeling alone and separated.  Well, it used to.

AC Dawson might just be able to give Auburn pure happiness, but will his own conflicts tear them both apart?


Macey M.

Happiness is Overrated


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This book has 15 comments.


ellwist SILVER said...
on Aug. 22 2015 at 11:40 pm
ellwist SILVER, Surabaya, Other
7 articles 2 photos 93 comments

Favorite Quote:
"They only let you be this happy when they're preparing to take something from you." -Khaled Hosseini, the Kite Runner.

Just read the second chapter, and good God I'm in love with this book.

on Jun. 27 2015 at 9:32 pm
kingofwriters BRONZE, DeWitt, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 196 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Books are a uniquely portable magic." - Stephen King

I love books, and I love technology, but I don't want to see the latter overwhelm the former. I just think books are meant to be pages you turn, not screens you scroll through.

My feedback for this is on the thread!

pprudhon GOLD said...
on Jun. 8 2015 at 7:22 pm
pprudhon GOLD, San Jose, California
10 articles 0 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."
-JK Rowling (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

I like the idea, and your style is great. You really sucked me into the story! The only thing I would suggest would be to hold off a little on the reveal about your character's probia. It just didn't feel very realistic for your protagonist to tell someone she had just met something so personal. Other than that I thought it was fantastic :)

on May. 25 2015 at 9:22 pm
simple_effect SILVER, Franklin Park, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Security is a superstition; it does not exist in nature. Life is either one daring adventure or nothing." ~Helen Keller

Thanks for your advice! Much appreciated!

on May. 25 2015 at 2:53 pm
simple_effect SILVER, Franklin Park, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Security is a superstition; it does not exist in nature. Life is either one daring adventure or nothing." ~Helen Keller

You don't know how grateful I am for your critique. Honestly! So sorry about the tenses, don't know why I'm doing that. And thanks for everything, I'll work with what you said.

on May. 23 2015 at 9:22 am
uncomfortableBrunette SILVER, Lr. Sackville, Other
5 articles 13 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
I want to hate you half as much as i hate myself

THIS IS SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!! I love the description and the way you handled the characters phobia, although, she laughs at one point in this chapter, and isn't laughing sort of a happy thing? I have no idea whether it would be considered a happy thing in this situation or not. Also I agree with Beila, the phone conversation seemed just a little bit staged. Other than that it was really good! I hope you plan on publishing it some day!

Beila BRONZE said...
on May. 22 2015 at 5:59 pm
Beila BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
3 articles 0 photos 519 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." -Mark Twain

:) This is one of those "one step forward, one step back" kind of moments. Yes, you gave us more Auburn! She's awesome, and she has a real family, and her sister's got a name, and I'm totally connected to her now. But... what happened to the dialogue? The phone conversation felt staged, like you were pushing the characters to say lines rather than just letting them talk. The end of the chapter would have been fabulous longer- we needed more natural banter between the two. I'm bummed to say that because the dialogue is really what got me hooked on the story in the last chapter. I guess just keep working and making every detail believable. Also, still mixing tenses- I know you said you're still in the writing/editing process, but I can't help pointing it out. And finally, I like the idea of the last sentence, but it was missing a little of the BANG! that a last sentence needs. Play with it; is there a more powerful way to say it? Overall, I'm excited for Chapter 3! More Auburn and AC!!!

on May. 1 2015 at 4:57 pm
simple_effect SILVER, Franklin Park, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Security is a superstition; it does not exist in nature. Life is either one daring adventure or nothing." ~Helen Keller

Haha thank you very much! And to answer your whole happy-or-not-happy thing: She sometimes feels happiness, but as soon as she does, she has a minor to severe panic attack. It is possible for her to be happy, but it has almost become impossible since her body and mind have pushed it away for so long. Thanks again!

ellwist SILVER said...
on May. 1 2015 at 10:04 am
ellwist SILVER, Surabaya, Other
7 articles 2 photos 93 comments

Favorite Quote:
"They only let you be this happy when they're preparing to take something from you." -Khaled Hosseini, the Kite Runner.

Can I just say I love odd phobias and mental disorders? Because I do. This is amazing, very well written. I especially liked how nobody believed her. I feel bad for Auburn, really--does the fact she's afraid of happiness means she's never happy? I'd just like to ask, sorry for being ignorant. Anyway, love the story! Hope you update this soon.

on Apr. 27 2015 at 9:32 pm
simple_effect SILVER, Franklin Park, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Security is a superstition; it does not exist in nature. Life is either one daring adventure or nothing." ~Helen Keller

That stuff on Auburn is extremely helpful, so thank you so so so so much for that! Sorry about the tenses, I haven't fully re-read all of it (since I have more in progress). To be honest, AC is my favorite character as well :). I really appreciate all of the constructive criticism and the compliments! Thank you so much!

Beila BRONZE said...
on Apr. 27 2015 at 8:50 pm
Beila BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
3 articles 0 photos 519 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." -Mark Twain

Your concept is both brilliant and unique. You could really take this idea far. I love AC's character, though I'm not sure if I'm sold on Auburn (although I love her name). I think you have to work extra hard to make her believable because the whole concept of cherophobia seems so bizarre to must of us on Teen Ink (I assume). I think hearing more of her thoughts outside of the panic attack could help. In other words, ground her in reality before you make her different; otherwise, it's hard to relate to her. Also, watch your tenses at the very beginning! However, I love the dialogue, the setting is both strangely unexpected and entirely appropriate, and the action between Auburn and AC is purely enjoyable to read. That last bit has me hooked! I feel like I'm the one holding the Oreo-- I want to hear more of what AC has to say. :)

on Apr. 26 2015 at 8:34 am
simple_effect SILVER, Franklin Park, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Security is a superstition; it does not exist in nature. Life is either one daring adventure or nothing." ~Helen Keller

Thanks! I'll keep adding chapters!

on Apr. 25 2015 at 6:57 pm
Beck-Beck BRONZE, Linklaen, New York
4 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sometimes only paper will listen to you.

This is amazing. Honestly, I can't wait for you to write more. I was kind of disappointed there wasn't a whole book. Can't wait to read it!!

on Apr. 25 2015 at 2:35 pm
simple_effect SILVER, Franklin Park, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Security is a superstition; it does not exist in nature. Life is either one daring adventure or nothing." ~Helen Keller

Sorry about the Reilly/Riley thing! Didn't even realize! Thanks so much anyway, and I'm glad you liked it!

on Apr. 25 2015 at 1:54 pm
CNBono17 SILVER, Rural, South Carolina
5 articles 0 photos 250 comments

Favorite Quote:
Lego ergo sum (Latin—I read, therefore, I am)
The pen is mightier than the sword—unknown
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity—1 Timothy 4:12

This is building up to something, I can tell. I like the idea; it's really unique, I've never heard of anyone who's actually afraid of happiness. I'd guess that AC is going to change that just by being nice. I like it, it's good! My only comment: decide whether you want to spell AC's brother's name as Riley or Reilly, 'cause you used both. Aside from that, I will be looking for the "more to come"! :)




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