On the Other Side of the Clouds

June 28, 2013
By Naesmarts SILVER, Clinton, Maryland
Naesmarts SILVER, Clinton, Maryland
5 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Summary:

When life gets too hard to bear, Tonya begins to doubt the existence of the God that she once believed in. Her faith shaken and her happiness temporary, she believes that all hope is lost. However, a prayer offered up to Heaven one day brings the Georgia peach more than she could ever have imagined.

Adam Carter is a southern carpenter whose smile is almost as big as his heart. When he meets Tonya for the first time, all does not seem ordinary. His advice and influence begin to lead her down the path of true love, and Adam seems to be at the right places at the right times. Can he redefine the term "God Sent" and help his newfound friend find her way? Despite being pushed to the canvas, these two will unite to show that faith still stands a chance. After all, the sun rests just on the other side of the clouds.

Well Tonya is at her wits end about religion. She wants desperately to believe in God but doesn't see any Proof. Adam is the guy for the job.


Naesmarts

On the Other Side of the Clouds


Similar books


JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This book has 5 comments.


on Jul. 12 2013 at 11:59 am
Naesmarts SILVER, Clinton, Maryland
5 articles 0 photos 6 comments
Thanks Alizz! I thought that would clarfiy because I cant split the book into two parts because the two characters lives are happening simotaneously 

Alizz SILVER said...
on Jul. 9 2013 at 7:26 am
Alizz SILVER, Cleveland, Ohio
7 articles 0 photos 17 comments
I agree with None0 that the writing does get somewhat confusing because two characters are using first person perspective. I would suggest stating the name of who is talking at the beginning of each chapter. For example: This is Adam speaking. Or something like that. Other than that, I think it is a pretty good story line with decent writing.

on Jul. 4 2013 at 10:56 am
Naesmarts SILVER, Clinton, Maryland
5 articles 0 photos 6 comments
can you explain more of what telling language is? and thanks so much for the critique

None0 BRONZE said...
on Jul. 3 2013 at 9:45 pm
None0 BRONZE, Bellevue, Washington
2 articles 0 photos 96 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Believe in the ideal, not the idol." - Serra

I read the last half, and went over the first half again, and now I know why this novel seems so disorganized. You're using the "I" character for both Adam and Tonya. Don't do that.   Or at least, if you're going to use the "I" character for both, create a scene in the beginning of each chapter where the character is clearly signified.   Other than that, as mentioned in my last comment, rework all of that telling language. Instead of telling the reader what happened in Tonya's past, try and recreate some of the scenes to show the reader what Tonya really did. I also feel like you picked a strange setting for this novel, because most of Tonya's focus, and thus half of the action in this novel, is in her past.   Maybe you should split up the novel, like having the first part be all about Tonya and what she went through in the past, then jump forward in time to Adam, and tell the rest of the story in his perspective.   Just some more food for thought. Good luck on your writing.

None0 BRONZE said...
on Jul. 2 2013 at 8:34 pm
None0 BRONZE, Bellevue, Washington
2 articles 0 photos 96 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Believe in the ideal, not the idol." - Serra

Well, after reading about half of it, here are my thoughts. The story keeps drifting randomly into the character's thoughts, taking away focus from the plotline. Personally, I couldn't even tell what the heck was happening even after reading through it twice. You should keep the character's thoughts separate from what happens in reality. Make different paragraphs for them or something (which would also help out with the huge blocks of text in this novel). My only other criticism is the extensive use of telling language in this novel. I feel like the telling language is what's hindering the character and plot development. If you use telling language, significant events portrayed in the novel become more abstract and less definite, which makes the characters and the plot itself feel more abstract. Try to describe the concrete actions more, to make more realistic events and thus solidify the plot and character foundations.


SciArc

MacMillan Books

Aspiring Writer? Take Our Online Course!