Breathe No More

January 24, 2013
By Tabitha Hernandez, Pottsville, Pennsylvania
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Tabitha Hernandez, Pottsville, Pennsylvania
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Author's note: What really got me writing this was the urge to write about the things in my mind that mix with the things that happen in the world on a daily basis. I hope people will enjoy this realistic teen fiction.

Dissociative Identity Disorder is a serious thing. Will is very much aware of his problem. He is aware of the 'people' in his head. He's aware of what society thinks of people like him. He often see's people on the news who are like him who shoot up schools and movie theaters. He has a gun, a pistol to be exact, but the thought of killing a bunch of innocent people didn't seem necessary to him. He only had one bullet anyway, and he was sure to make it last. Some days when he's really angry he clutches the bullet in his hand. Today Will was more then upset, he was scared. He read on the internet that as time goes on he can have over 100 identities. Right now, Will only has two, Henry and Chriss. Henry was reckless. When Henry took over Will always got tickets for speeding and running red lights. Henry wasn't afraid to take out anyone in his way. Chriss on the other hand, was love struck. A year ago Chriss took over and dated a girl named Jasmine, it didn't work out. Not one bit. She not only hurt Chriss, but she hurt Will.

“I can't do this” Will said aloud to himself.

“Can't do what?” Henry asked “need my help?”

“No!” Will snapped.

“You never take a chance kid” Henry protested “here let me help”. Will could feel Henry forcing his was through his body. His fingers twitch.

“I said no!” Will fought “This is MY body”. Will regained control.

“I was just trying to help” Henry said.

“He doesn't need help, he needs Jasmine” Chriss said butting in.

“I have a girlfriend” Will said.

“But she's not Jasmine” Chriss said whining.

“You're both stupid” Henry said.

“That's it!” Will screamed “I had enough”. He grabbed his pills that made the voices go away for awhile. Just enough time to let him sleep.


“You okay?” Kate asked Will “You seem out of it”.

“I'm fine” he insisted “just went to sleep late”. Will sighed and rubbed his eyes.

“is it...” Kate looked around “...are they bothering you?”

“Yes” Will said throwing his head against his desk “it's just going to get worse”. Kate bit her lip and rubbed Will's shoulder.

“It's going to be okay” Kate said reassuringly “you'll take your medicine and-”

“No, okay, NO!” Will snapped, interrupting Kate “It's NOT going to get any better!” Kate tossed her blonde hair in front of her face, but Will could see she was fighting back tears.

“Oh I-I” Kate muttered. A tear fell from Kate's eyes and down onto the desk. Will hugged her.

“I'm sorry” Will said kissing her cheek “I didn't mean to make you cry baby” Kate wiped her eyes.

“I'm fine” Kate said hiding her face with her hand. Will gave Kate her space and looked the other way awkwardly.

“You really done it this time” Hector said sarcastically.

“You're such a romantic” Chriss said joining in on the sarcasm.

“Shut up!” Will screamed out loud. The class room suddenly went quiet and everyone looked at Will.

“Are you okay Mr. Johnson?” Will's study hall teacher asked “Would you like to take another trip to the guidance councilor?”

“N-N-o Mr. Jones” Will said. Kate wiped her eyes and sniffed.

“Perhaps you would like to go Mrs. Smith?” Mr. Jones said.

“No” Kate said not making any eye contact “I'm fine”

“Very well then” Mr. Jones said “But I would suggest couples counseling”. A group of girls in the front giggled. Mr. Jones kicked his feet up on his desk and read his newspaper. Will slouched and looked around the room. Motivational posters were taped to the white walls. Two desks away sat Anjel Williams, who's wondering eyes met Wills as he glanced across the room. Their eyes locked and Will ended up staring at her longer then he expected. She smiled at Will and waved. Will smiled back.

“Ugh!” Kate grabbed her binder and stood up “Mr. Jones I need to go to bathroom”

“Do you really or are you just going to stay there for the rest of the period playing with your hair?” Mr. Jones asked staring at Kate. Kate didn't answer, she just looked down. “Take the hall pass, return it to me at the end of the period”.

“Thanks Mr. Jones” Kate grabbed the pass and stormed out the room.

“Yup” Hector said “Really done it”

“She's being dramatic” Chriss said “Jasmine wasn't that dramatic”. Will covered his ears and dropped his head on his desk.

“You mad bro?” Hector teased.

“DUH!” Chriss said to hector “have you seen his Girlfriend?”

“Yes I have” Hector said seductively “Oh, yes I have”

“Gross!” Chriss shouted “Kate? No!” Will squeezed his ears tighter.

“Dude, YOU'RE BLIND” Hector argued “Kate's hot!”


The bell rang dismissing the class.

“Finally!” Will said out loud. Students rushed out the class and into the hall. Will grabbed his back-pack and his book and headed towards the door.

“You dropped something Mr. Johnson” Mr. Jones said to Will.

“I did?” Will said picking a folded note from the floor. He quickly opened and read it to himself.

Meet me after school in the auditorium. ♥

Will looked around but the hallways were already crowded.

“Better get to class, Johnson” Mr. Jones warned “Kate should be here with my hall pass”. Will glanced down the hall and saw Kate walking towards class. Will stuffed the note in his pocket and ran to his next class.

Will sighed and pushed away his perogies with his fork.

“Eat babe” Kate said to Will.

“I'm not really hungry” he said pushing away his tray.

“But it's perogies” Kate protested “it's your favorite”. Will sighed.

“not today” Will grabbed his fork and jabbed it in his perogies, declaring he was finished.

“Oh that's right” Kate said “you'd rather have Anjel cake” Will slammed his fist into his palm.

“Really?” he asked “it's not even like that, I just waved hi”

“I saw her slip that note in your book”. Will was silent. “Exactly” she said throwing her napkin “Why won't you tell me what's up? I'm your girlfriend!”

“Nothing is up Kate!” Kate rolled her eyes and sighed.

“You're right” she said giving up “I'm over reacting”. Will smiled.

“You're cute when your worried.” Kate blushed.

“I just don't want to lose you” Kate said looking down.

“You won't lose me baby” Will said to her, kissing her cheek “I love you”

“I love you too” Kate smiled “So what are you doing after school, want to get pizza?”

“I'd love to” Will said remembering the note in his pocket “but I can't”.

“Oh?” Kate said curiously.

“Yeah” Will said scratching his head “I have this study group we're meeting in the auditorium after school”.

“But...” Kate muttered “It's Wednesday, Drama club meets there on Wednesday”

“We won't be there long, we're going to the Library”.

“Why can't you just meet in the Library” Kate asked.

“Oh you know nerds” Will joked “they aren't very bright”. Kate giggled

“You're silly” she said smiling.

“But pizza” Will said “Friday?”

“Sure thing babe” Kate said. A group of girls motioned for Kate. “Oh babe my friends are here” Kate kissed Will goodbye and met up with her friends.

“Well played my friend” Henry said. Will rolled his eyes.

“Nothing's going to happen” Will whispered to himself.

“Yeah sure” Henry said sarcastically “nothing at all”. Will sighed. He grabbed his tray and tossed away his perogies.

“What a waste” a voice said from behind him “there are children in Africa who are starving and you're just tossing away a free lunch.” Will turned around. A girl with short blonde hair and brown eyes stared him down with a smirk. Anjel Williams.

“I got your note” Will said “I-” Just before he could finish Anjel cut him off

“See you there” Anjel winked and walked away. Will stood in the middle of the cafeteria; alone in a crowded room.

“Well” Will said to himself “no harm in being 15 minutes early to Physics.” Will grabbed his back and walked towards the hall.

♦ ♦ ♦

The last bell just rang dismissing the class. Will tossed his books into his locker.

“Hey hun” Kate said smiling holding her books.

“Oh” Will said “Did you want to put your books in my locker?”

“No I have homework” Kate said “I thought I could walk you to the auditorium”

“Oh yeah sure” Will said shutting his locker.

“Aren't you going to need your textbooks?” Kate asked “I mean if you're studying”.

“Oh yeah” he said reopening his locker. Will grabbed his books and walk with Kate to the auditorium.

“Well” he said “here's my stop”. Kate sighed and slouched her shoulders.

“Have fun studying baby” Kate kissed Will on the cheek. “Friday” she reminded.

“Friday” Will agreed and sneaked into the auditorium. He looked down onto the stage. The drama club didn't waste any time performing.

“GUM DROP BUTTONS” an actor on stage yelled.

“They're getting better” said a familiar voice from behind Will “Last week was a little shaky”.

“Why did you want me to meet you here?” Will asked her.

“I don't know” Anjel admitted “Didn't think you'd show up”.

“Why's that?” Will inquired.

“Well” She answers still looking down at the drama club “Kate doesn't exactly like me”.

“Well” Will continued “Kate doesn't exactly know I'm here”. Anjel beamed.

“So you lied to her?”

“Well...” Anjel smiled.

“It's cool” she said nudging him “I wouldn't want her to know”.

“So...” Will said trying to change the subject.

“Do you want to go somewhere?” Anjel asked Will.

“Like where?” Will asked curiously

“A place I like to go” She said grabbing his hand “Come on”. Anjel grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the school, into the woods.

“You like to go to the woods?” Will asked.

“No” She said grabbing him further “we're almost there”. They jumped over logs and knocked over trees till finally they reach a huge field.

“What is this place?” Will asked.

“I call it My Sanctuary” Anjel said running through the fields. Will open his bag and pulled out his camera and started snapping pictures.

“It's beautiful” he said “perfect photography”.

“You like photography?” Anjel asked.

“It's a hobby of mine” Will said snapping a picture of Anjel. She chuckled.

“I always wanted someone to come here with” she said plopping herself on the grass “someone I could trust”.

“Why'd you choose me?” Will asked “I don't even know me”.

“I don't know” she said staring into the woods “you just seemed so easy to open up to”.

“What do you mean?” Will asked, plopping himself on the grass next to Anjel.

“Like we're both different” she said looking at Will “Like you understand me”. Will smiled.

“Say cheese” Anjel smiled and will snapped a picture.

“Do you carry that everywhere you go?” She asked him.

“Yes actually” he answered honestly. Anjel rustled in her bag and pulled out and mp3 player with a white pair of ear phones.

“I always bring this with me” she said “I listen to this song while I'm here”. She handed Will a ear bud. “It's called My Sanctuary, it gives me good vibes”. Will placed the bud in his ear and they both fell back on the grass. Will smiled at Anjel. “Hey I've been meaning to ask you something”.

“Yes?” he said.

“Why did you bring text books? Did you have homework?”

“No” he said sighing “I told Kate I was studying in the Library”.

“Do you want to hang out tomorrow?” She asked “Maybe go to the Library”. Will laughed.

“Sure” he said “I have to bring up my grades anyway”. Anjel and Will smiled at each other.

“You know” Anjel said staring up at the clouds “You're pretty fly....for a white guy”. Will and Anjel chuckled and stared up into the clouds.

Will walked in the door, right past his uncle who probably didn't even realize he was home late, straight to his room. He set his bag down on the floor, pulled out his camera and went through the pictures.

“Souvenirs from your date?” Hector asked mischievously.

“It wasn't a date” Will said rolling his eyes.

“I saw how you smiled with her” Chriss said.

“Does this mean I can have Kate to myself?” Henry asked.

“IT WASN'T A DATE!” Will screamed throwing his face into his pillow.

“So you have another date tomorrow with her at the Library” Henry joked “Interesting”

“UGH!” Will screamed.

“Why are you upset buddy?” Will's uncle asked him.

“Nothing” Will said kicking his bag against the wall “just hungry, did you cook?”

“No” Will's uncle, Joe, said “but I ordered pizza”.

“Sweet!” Will said excitedly. Joe never cooked but Will loved pizza, it's the only food he can actually get excited about; pizza and Mountain Dew. Will ran halfway down the stairs when a shiver of cold ran down his spine. Sitting on the couch with a paper plate and a slice of pizza was a woman with long brown hair and brown eyes who appeared to be in her mid 30's.

“Who is that?” he whispered to his uncle.

“Will this is Tina” he said to Will “Tina this is my nephew, Will”.

“Hi Will” Tina said smiling. Will twitched. Something about her gave him the creeps.

“Hi” he muttered back, slowly grabbing a slice of pizza.

“You like pizza don't you, Will” Tina said smiling at Will.

“Ew, she's a little creepy” Chriss said. Will nodded.

“She looks like a MILF to me” Henry laughed “I like her” Will could feel Henry pushing him out the 'controls' of his body. Will sat up abruptly.

“I uh- forgot something” Will said running up to his room. He grabbed the bottle of pills on his dresser.

“What do you think you're doing, punk?” Henry said throwing the bottle on the floor.

“Leave me alone!” Will thought, but that's all he could do was think. He couldn't speak.

“It's MY turn” Henry said mischievously. Will pushed and fought for his body till he finally regained control.

“Not tonight” Will said grabbing the pills “Not tonight”. He ran to the bathroom, grabbed two pills out the bottle, and and drank from the sink.

“Do you really think two little pills will stop me?” Henry said knocking the pills into the sink.

“NO!” Will said catching most of them “You WILL go away” he cried desperately taking the pills one after the other. Henry's mad laughter filled his mind.

“Can't you just leave him alone?” A voice in his mind said. It was a female voice. A voice he recognized.

“Anjel?” he asked looking in the mirror. Suddenly it all went quiet. Nothing ran through his mind. A knot tied in Will's stomach as he hovered over the toilet, puking his brains out.

“W-why?” he asked trying to stand straight.

“Why not?” a group of voices in said in unison “Aren't you tired?” Suddenly the bathroom started to spin and Will dropped to the floor.


“What was that?” Tina asked Joe with a concerned look on her face.

“WILL?” Joe called up the steps. No one answered. Joe bolted up the steps.

“Is he okay?” Tina asked. Joe gasped.

“Call 911” he yelled “we need an ambulance”


Will woke in a room that was all black.

“Where am I” He thought, but he heard it out loud.

“Your mind” a voice said from a shadows “Wake up before they worry to much”

“How do I just do that?” he asked.

“Don't be silly now” the voice said “wake up”. Suddenly the room turned a bright white, a blinding bright white. Will had to squint.

“He's awake” a voice said.

“Will” a another voice said “Can you hear me?” He recognized this voice.

“Kate?” he asked covering his eyes.

“I missed you so much” she said hugging him.

“Missed me?” he asked.

“It's been a week” she said, tears pouring down her face.

“It's been 2 seconds” he said confused.

“No Will” she said wiping away her tears “It's December 17th”

“It can't be” Will said trying to sit up.

“It is” she said.

“This mean I missed our date” Will will said.

“Oh it's okay” she said looking at the ground “I'm sick of pizza, it's all I've been eating”

“You ate pizza without me?” Kate chuckled and turn to the nurse, who was changing Will's IV

“He could have died and all he's worried about is pizza” she said trying to cheer herself up.

“Well” the nurse said “he's your brother”

“Brother?” Will and Kate said in unison.

“I'm sorry” the nurse said “I just assumed”

“I'm his girlfriend” Kate said.

“Girlfriend?” the nurse said “No, his girlfriend was here everyday this week.” Will and Kate exchanged confused glances. “In fact she left not 5 minutes before you showed up.” Kate's facial expression changed, and it wasn't good.

“What did she look like?” Kate asked.

“Blonde” the nurse said “Dirty blonde, cut really short”. Kate looked at Will and balled her fist.

“Well I promised Joe I'll tell you if you woke up” She said storming out the room before Will could stop her.

“Sorry if I got you in any kind of trouble with your lady friend” the nurse said helping Will sit up straight.

“It's okay” Will said sighing.

“Are you strong enough to walk?” the nurse asked.

“I don't know” Will said.

“I'll get you some jello from the cafe then” she said.

“Cafe?” Will said “Can I go there?”

“Not if you can't walk I don't want you hurting yourself” The nurse said. Will got up out of the bed.

“Please” he said “TAKE ME TO THE FOOD”.The nurse smiled.

“I knew that would get you out of bed” she said grabbing Will's wrist lightly “but let's get you dressed first”.

“Of course” Will laughed realizing he was in a hospital gown “Do I have any clothes?”

“Yes your girlfrie- well, that girl, she left you clothes” she handed Will the American Eagle Outfitters bag. Inside was a white dress shirt, a black tie, black slacks, and a black overcoat.

“Seems a little fancy for the cafe” the nurse said “but It will do”. She grabbed the clothes and helped Will dress, then walked him to the cafe.


“Whoa fancy!” Joe said to Will as he opened the door to the car. Will rolled his eyes and climbed in. “You feeling alright?” Joe asked Will.

“I guess” he said sighing.

“I'm going away next week” Joe said keeping his eyes firmly on the road.


“I don't want you alone so Tina's going to stay with you”

“You mean babysit me” Will said angrily.

“I just don't want you to be alone next time something like this happens”.

“Whatever” Will said “where are you going?”

“I'll be in Virginia” he said “I have something.” Will was silent. “Well would you look at like at that” Joe said “The first snow fall”. Snow fell from the sky and all around.

“Oh” Will said slouching “Wonderful”. Joe pulled up into the driveway and parked the car. Will opened the door and stumbled out.

“Do you need help?” Joe asked.

“I'm fine” he said slamming the door closed. Will stormed in the house and up to his room. To his surprised Kate was sitting on his bed waiting for him.

“Nice suit” she said “where you get it?”

“Um Joe bought it for” he lied “a little out-of-the-hospital gift.”

“That's cute” she said sniffling like she just got done crying “today’s my last day here”.

“Where are you going?” Will asked.

“California” she said “going to be with my mom”

“When would you be back?”

“After New Years”

“I'll miss you” Will said sitting next to her on the bed.

“Do me a favor, Will” she said catching her breath.

“Anything” Will said rubbing her back.

“Stay away from Anjel” she said looking in his eyes “please”.

“I will” he said. Kate smiled.

“I trust you” Will caressed her face and kissed her cherry lips.

“This is the longest I'll be with out you” Will said running his fingers through her hair.

“I know” she said pursing her lips “I have to go now”.

“I'll miss you” he said grabbing her hand.

“I'll miss you too baby”

“I love you” Will said softly. Kate rubbed her lips against Will's softly.

“I know” she said tearing up “I love you too”. Kate gave Will one last hug then turned away.

“I'll miss you so much” Will said once she left “you don't even know”. He clenched his fist as a tear ran down his face.

“William!” Mrs. Brown called.

“Huh, what?” Will said looking around puffy eyed.
“Ew he was drooling!” a girl shouted. Mrs. Brown grabbed a pink slip from her desk and scribbled down something on the paper.
“Detention,” she said holding the pink slip out, “you sleep in your bed, not my classroom.”
“OOOOHHHH” a group of guys snickered as Will stumbled his way to the teacher’s desk.Will grabbed the pink slip and turned towards his seat. Dwayne Walker, the schools number one quarterback, smirked at Will as he walked back to his seat. He slipped his foot out and Will fell flat on his face.
Just walk away, Will, Will thought to himself It's not worth it.
“NOT WORTH IT?” Henry yelled. Will could feel anger fill his body. The burn flowed through his veins and he twitched from the burn. Will's blue eyes flared with anger as he stood up and faced Dwayne. Will wasn't Will anymore. It was Henry's turn. Dwayne chuckled.
“Come at me suicide boy,” he snarled. Henry balled his fist and swung at Dwayne. Dwayne ducked and punched Henry right in the face. He stumbled back just a little when a bolt of energy filled his body. He swung at Dwayne knocking him all the way to the back of the room. The class screamed in excitement and horror.
“You kicked his ass!” A boy yelled. Henry smiled, blood pouring down his face.
“Get the nurse or something!” Someone else yelled. Will regained control of his body, unfortunately too fast that his vision fogged and Will stumbled to the ground.


“He only threw one punch,” a voice said, “he was just defending himself.”
“The school is still fining both boys,” another voice said. “There’s no fighting on school grounds.” Will opened his eyes slowly, not too surprised that he was in the hospital once again. Anjel was talking to a police officer.
“You okay dear?” Tina asked, running her fingers through Will’s hair. Will twitched.
“I’m fine.” he said smacking away Tina’s hand.
“This is going to cost your uncle big time,” Tina said stroking Will’s cheek. Once again Will slapped away Tina’s hand uncomfortably. “Let’s talk to the police man so we can get you home,” she said smiling. Will sat up, wincing at the sight of his face in the mirror. The police officer walked in and Anjel followed behind.
“Hello Mr. Johnson,” he said clicking his pen, “I’m officer Holzer; I’m here to talk to you about your incident in school today.” Will sighed.
“I don’t remember it,” he lied, “I blacked out.” Officer Holzer pursed his lips and scribbled something down his paper.
“You do know this kind of behavior isn’t permitted,” he said still writing on his paper.
“I know,” Will said slouching.
“And you’ll have to have a court hearing,” Office Holzer continued. Will rolled his eyes, wishing it’ll be over.
“Can we go home now?” Tina asked holding Wills hand.
“Of course ma’am,” Officer Holzer said.
“Come on Will,” Tina said pulling Will up from the bed. Will walked out the door with Tina hand in hand.
“I want to call Kate,” Will whispered to Tina.
“Maybe later,” Tina said, dragging him through the hall ways, towards the elevators.
“Why not now?” Will asked.
“Because,” Tina said stepping into the elevator, “we're going somewhere.” Will felt uneasy.
“Where are we going?” Will grilled.
“Oh nowhere,” Tina said smirking “Just home.” Will's knees were weak.
“What are you to my uncle?” Will asked looking at his feet.
“A friend,” Tina replied.
“Just a friend?”
“Why do you ask?” Tina asked, grabbing Will's hand tighter. Will flinched.
“My uncle wouldn't just leave me with just a friend,” Will said curiously. The elevator dinged and the door opened.
“Let's go,” Tina dragged Will out the door and into her black BMW.
“I'm hungry,” Will complained.
“We're going to eat,” Tina said putting on her seat belt.
“Where?” Will asked.
“Home,” she said starting the car, “where else?” Will ignored her question and threw on his seat belt. As they drove rain started to fall from the sky like teardrops.
“What do you want to eat?” Tina asked breaking the silence.
“I don't know,” Will said laying his face on the window, “food.” Tina chuckled.
“Okay,” Tina said, “I'll make you food”. Tina parked the car in the driveway and climbed out the car.
“Grab the groceries out he trunk dear,” Tina said poppin' the truck.
“Okay,” Will said grabbing the groceries. “When did you go shopping?”
“Oh earlier today,” Tina said unlocking the front door. Will looked down at the shopping bag and read the name of the store out-loud.
Foodmart? Will asked himself where's Foodmart? Will squinted his eyes in curiosity and ran the groceries inside.
“Do you um need help cooking?” Will asked.
“No I got it,” Tina said smiling. “I'll call you when it's done”.
“Oh okay,” Will said running up the stairs. He ran to his room and locked the door. He grabbed his laptop and opened up Google. In the search engine he typed: Foodmart locations.
“The closest Foodmart is a state away,” Will said aloud. “Why would she travel that far?”
“Maybe she's trying to murder you,” Henry said.
“Or maybe the food there is really fresh,” Chriss said, “and she just wants you to have good food.”
“Guys,” Will thought to his personalities “I'm scared.”
“It's just food,” Henry said, “be glad she's feeding you!”
“Will!” Tina called.
“I don't want to go down there,” Will admitted.
“Well,” Chriss said, “I guess it's two against one.” Unwillingly, Will sat up and walked down the stairs.
“Y-Yes?” Will said peeking his head into the kitchen.
“I'm making spaghetti,” she said.
“Okay,” Will said, “spaghetti sounds nice.”
“So what are you doing?” Tina said moving closer to him.
“Um,” Will said gulping, “uh-nothing.’ Tina caressed his face.
“You're really cute,” she said sliding her fingers down his chest.
“I-uh-uh,” Will mumbled. Tina chuckled.
“Go get a shower,” she said smiling “I won't feed a dirty boy.” Will didn't hesitate, he ran back up the steps, anything to leave the position he was in.

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