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Romeo and Juliet--A Parody

Romeo and Juliet--A Parody
Summary: Juliet Capulet is just your average teenage girl until a chance meeting at a community dance changes her life forever. She meets Romeo Montague, who immediately starts stalking her, claiming they are meant to be together. For Juliet, this is just too much; she calls the police. How did such a story inspire the great William Shakespeare? It's not how you think!

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musicalmolly said...
Jun. 11, 2011 at 9:46 am

Hilarious! If this was the version of Romeo and Juliet that we read in my English 1 class, I would have enjoyed it much more. I like your idea of not describing them to have people keep their original image. The beginning was a little confusing to me, and I only caught on when you told us who the mysterious stranger was in the shrubs (William Shakespeare). I didn't understand the Miranda and Betty part until you explained it in the comments. That was very clever of you. And I liked the whole ... (more »)

CarrieAnn13 replied...
Jun. 11, 2011 at 2:17 pm
Thanks so much, musicalmolly!  I appreciate the time you took to read my novel and I apologize for the Shakespeare parts being confusing, but this was my very first submission.  I wish they had kept the italic format I had.
musicalmolly replied...
Jun. 11, 2011 at 3:02 pm
For a first submission, I thought it was excellent! Yeah, if it was in Italics, I might have been able to follow along. And granted, I did read this earlier in the morning, so I might not have been completely functional yet. Hahaha :)
AvengedJasonfoldForever said...
Jun. 10, 2011 at 10:20 pm

J7X Feedback: you asked for it!

I used to call this simon feedback but J7X is only 3 letters and I am lazy. However one thing that I am very incredibly passionate about is comedy and I've studied the art of satire to the point where I actually taught a 12th grade honors english class how to write a good satire after my "high school survival guides" caused a stir... 

all credibility aside I think this story shows promise for you as a writer but not necessarily a satirist. I ... (more »)

CarrieAnn13 replied...
Jun. 11, 2011 at 12:27 am

Thanks for taking the time to read my novel, AvengedJasonfoldForever.  I really appreciate your criticism as well.

But I would like to point out that I did emphasize character traits, at least in some characters.  Romeo, for example, was sort of a creepy stalker in the original play.  For my novel, I made him a real stalker.

I don't particularly enjoy writing comedy and I know I'm not particularly good at it either.  This was my first and likely last attempt ... (more »)

AvengedJasonfoldForever replied...
Jun. 11, 2011 at 9:53 am

If you don't enjoy writing something then why bother?

And if you look at Shakespeare's characterization of Romeo, nothing about him is supposed to be creepy. A modern audience might see his actions as creepy, but since the other characters--especially Juliet don't see them as creepy, he isn't a creep. He's an exaggerated young lover and so is Juliet. They're both comedic characters. But you interpreting him as a creeper can work in a parody, but in order to do that you'd have to make h... (more »)

CarrieAnn13 replied...
Jun. 11, 2011 at 2:14 pm

1.  I bothered to write it for an English assignment, then I posted it on Teen Ink just to see what other people thought of it.  It was a kind of "Whatever, I'll see how this goes" moment.

2.  You definitely have a point about the characterization.

3.  Excuse me for shuddering, but I am terrible at writing romances.  The thought of writing one makes me ill, actually.  I really don't like Twilight, so I'm not sure if that comparison is a compl... (more »)

AvengedJasonfoldForever replied...
Jun. 11, 2011 at 11:06 pm

I see what you're saying. I didn't like Twilight either--never finished the book but I could tell she's a good writer. (I saw the first movie so I'm scarcely familiar with it)

I suggested romance because I was under the impression that since you were trying to satirize a "romance" and since many elements of your style reminded me of authors like Laurie Halse Anderson who write books about how much it sucks to be in high school (and that includes a lot of romance) but let's be real, I s... (more »)

AvengedJasonfoldForever replied...
Jun. 11, 2011 at 11:12 pm

in case it didn't post;

I don't like Twilight either but I think she's a good writer from what little I've read of hers. (the movie sucked)

sorry for assuming that you wrote romances (all excuses aside lol)

Annnnnd I've been working on a sci-fi novel for 5 years trying to make my protag super unique and stuff. Most fantasy/sci-fi protags are the same--especially in teen lit. I wonder if yours is/are unique because you seem like a pretty mature writer and that usually lead... (more »)

CarrieAnn13 replied...
Jun. 11, 2011 at 11:40 pm

It's okay for assuming I write romances; a lot of teenage girls do. :)

And thanks for saying I'm a pretty mature writer.  I like to think I am.  (Yes, me and my super ego).

I have a favourite piece of sci-fi/fantasy (it's sort a mix, but it's more sci-fi than fantasy), but currently I'm writing a second draft.  I've been neglecting it lately, but when I finally do get around to finishing it, I will post it on Teen Ink.  Right now the title I'm working with is... (more »)

AvengedJasonfoldForever replied...
Jun. 12, 2011 at 12:08 am

wow that's a long school year I graduated in may...

anyway I have a tendency to hesitate sending first draft stuff in favor of sending 2nd drafts too but I think for the sake of feedback it doesn't matter which you send unless you're changing the whole story up or something.

make things faster you can send it to .j.h.e.w.e.t..t.7.2. at y.a.h.o.o.. (no periods in it) if you're cool with using email instead of this slow website lol

.Izzy. said...
Jun. 9, 2011 at 5:45 pm
I just read Romeo and Juliet in my English class a few months ago, I really loved that book, though I did think Romeo was a bit of a creep even in the original :b This was very funny and I really enjoyed it. Good job!
CarrieAnn13 replied...
Jun. 9, 2011 at 10:19 pm
Thanks for the comment, .Izzy.!  I'm glad you enjoyed my parody.  And you're right, Romeo was a bit of a creep in the original.
NavishJ. said...
Jun. 7, 2011 at 6:42 pm

This was excellent! :) In the beginning, I have to be honest, I was a little confused. The man was talking in old English, "What wondrous place didst that alchemist bring me to?" And then, Juliet and Paris were talking about texting. I thought that was odd. But, then, in the end, I understood that the man (Shakespeare) time-traveled to the future for an idea for his play.

Also, I have to say that there should have been more to the ending. The beginning was fine, but the ending went a l... (more »)

CarrieAnn13 replied...
Jun. 7, 2011 at 7:30 pm

Thanks for the feedback, NavishJ!  I apologize for not separating Shakespeare from the text more, but this was my first submission and the italics I originally had those passages in got lost in the copying and pasting process. 

I know the ending was a bit quick, but really, there wasn't much to say.  And my English assignment was due. :)

I didn’t really describe Romeo and Juliet because I wanted people to use their imaginations.  Everyone has a differen... (more »)

msp49 said...
Jun. 4, 2011 at 5:15 pm
This was great!  I'm not a fan of parodies, but I thought this was hilarious!  Good job and keep writing!
CarrieAnn13 replied...
Jun. 4, 2011 at 6:53 pm
Thanks, msp49!  I'm glad you enjoyed my parody.
WiseGirl said...
Jun. 4, 2011 at 12:14 am
It's great! Love it!
CarrieAnn13 replied...
Jun. 4, 2011 at 2:31 pm
Thanks, WiseGirl!  I'm glad you took the time to read my novel.
WiseGirl replied...
Jun. 6, 2011 at 10:48 am
No problem!
DinoNugget said...
Jun. 2, 2011 at 8:38 pm
Haha!  This was very funny!  I enjoyed the story very much.  Romeo as a creepy (pervert) stalker was very fitting.  Juliet's reaction to all of his antics was extremely realistic.  All in all, I loved this story.  Write on!

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