Teen Ink

Thanks for taking the time to read my novel, AvengedJasonfoldForever.  I really appreciate your criticism as well.

But I would like to point out that I did emphasize character traits, at least in some characters.  Romeo, for example, was sort of a creepy stalker in the original play.  For my novel, I made him a real stalker.

I don't particularly enjoy writing comedy and I know I'm not particularly good at it either.  This was my first and likely last attempt ... (more »)

If you don't enjoy writing something then why bother?

And if you look at Shakespeare's characterization of Romeo, nothing about him is supposed to be creepy. A modern audience might see his actions as creepy, but since the other characters--especially Juliet don't see them as creepy, he isn't a creep. He's an exaggerated young lover and so is Juliet. They're both comedic characters. But you interpreting him as a creeper can work in a parody, but in order to do that you'd have to make h... (more »)

1.  I bothered to write it for an English assignment, then I posted it on Teen Ink just to see what other people thought of it.  It was a kind of "Whatever, I'll see how this goes" moment.

2.  You definitely have a point about the characterization.

3.  Excuse me for shuddering, but I am terrible at writing romances.  The thought of writing one makes me ill, actually.  I really don't like Twilight, so I'm not sure if that comparison is a compl... (more »)

I see what you're saying. I didn't like Twilight either--never finished the book but I could tell she's a good writer. (I saw the first movie so I'm scarcely familiar with it)

I suggested romance because I was under the impression that since you were trying to satirize a "romance" and since many elements of your style reminded me of authors like Laurie Halse Anderson who write books about how much it sucks to be in high school (and that includes a lot of romance) but let's be real, I s... (more »)

in case it didn't post;

I don't like Twilight either but I think she's a good writer from what little I've read of hers. (the movie sucked)

sorry for assuming that you wrote romances (all excuses aside lol)

Annnnnd I've been working on a sci-fi novel for 5 years trying to make my protag super unique and stuff. Most fantasy/sci-fi protags are the same--especially in teen lit. I wonder if yours is/are unique because you seem like a pretty mature writer and that usually lead... (more »)

It's okay for assuming I write romances; a lot of teenage girls do. :)

And thanks for saying I'm a pretty mature writer.  I like to think I am.  (Yes, me and my super ego).

I have a favourite piece of sci-fi/fantasy (it's sort a mix, but it's more sci-fi than fantasy), but currently I'm writing a second draft.  I've been neglecting it lately, but when I finally do get around to finishing it, I will post it on Teen Ink.  Right now the title I'm working with is... (more »)

wow that's a long school year I graduated in may...

anyway I have a tendency to hesitate sending first draft stuff in favor of sending 2nd drafts too but I think for the sake of feedback it doesn't matter which you send unless you're changing the whole story up or something.

make things faster you can send it to .j.h.e.w.e.t..t.7.2. at y.a.h.o.o.. (no periods in it) if you're cool with using email instead of this slow website lol

Thanks for the feedback, NavishJ!  I apologize for not separating Shakespeare from the text more, but this was my first submission and the italics I originally had those passages in got lost in the copying and pasting process. 

I know the ending was a bit quick, but really, there wasn't much to say.  And my English assignment was due. :)

I didn’t really describe Romeo and Juliet because I wanted people to use their imaginations.  Everyone has a differen... (more »)