Romeo and Juliet--A Parody

May 26, 2011
By CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius


Summary:

Juliet Capulet is just your average teenage girl until a chance meeting at a community dance changes her life forever. She meets Romeo Montague, who immediately starts stalking her, claiming they are meant to be together. For Juliet, this is just too much; she calls the police. How did such a story inspire the great William Shakespeare? It's not how you think!


CarrieAnn13

Romeo and Juliet--A Parody


Similar books


JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This book has 208 comments.


Megan.J.B said...
on Jul. 13 2011 at 6:11 pm
Megan.J.B, Sault Ste Marie, Other
0 articles 0 photos 185 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Here's the real truth. There are eight million people in this city. And those teeming masses exist for the sole purpose of lifting the few exceptional people onto their shoulders. You, me? We're exceptional."
- Green Goblin. :)

I mean no offence, of course. If you like the way it sounds then I would keep it that way. You enjoying what you write is what matters most.

on Jul. 13 2011 at 1:09 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

I think it's fairly realistic.  And yes, I did read it aloud; I do that with all my dialogue.

Megan.J.B said...
on Jul. 13 2011 at 10:44 am
Megan.J.B, Sault Ste Marie, Other
0 articles 0 photos 185 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Here's the real truth. There are eight million people in this city. And those teeming masses exist for the sole purpose of lifting the few exceptional people onto their shoulders. You, me? We're exceptional."
- Green Goblin. :)

Well, to me it doesn't sound natural, especially when Juliet is speaking. One thing that I do to fix this when I write is by saying the dialogue aloud. Dialogue, unforunately is very tricky that I think most teenage writers have difficulty with, including myself. :)

on Jul. 12 2011 at 8:29 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Why do you think the dialogue sounded forced?

Megan.J.B said...
on Jul. 12 2011 at 6:59 pm
Megan.J.B, Sault Ste Marie, Other
0 articles 0 photos 185 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Here's the real truth. There are eight million people in this city. And those teeming masses exist for the sole purpose of lifting the few exceptional people onto their shoulders. You, me? We're exceptional."
- Green Goblin. :)

I liked the ideas, and there were many times when I found myself almost laughing and yet, there was a very unhuman element to the story. Yes, there was comedy, but all other emotions were non-existant and the dialogue was fairly forced. I do regard comedy highly though, it's something not everyone has the ability to do :)

on Jul. 11 2011 at 11:17 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

MrPain, as much as I would love to fix the formatting issues, I can't.  Copying and pasting your work takes away any italics or bolds (and different fonts) that you originally had in your work.  This happened to me because this novel was my first submission.  Shakespeare's part was originally in italics and the texts were Arial Bold.  Alas, formatting issues.

Thanks for the feedback!


MrPain BRONZE said...
on Jul. 11 2011 at 11:15 pm
MrPain BRONZE, Minneapolis, Minnesota
1 article 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"It's not what you know, It's who you know."

I very much enjoyed this parody. Being able to make people laugh is a woefully under apriciated skill.

I also loved William Shakeseare in this story, I know very few writers that can pull of a good intrusive narrator.

As far as criticism goes, you have some formatting issues. It kind of took me out of the story when I had go back and look at the line "lover boy's on TV" before realizing it was supposed to be a text. Try using a different font or bolding/italisizing it when writing text messages, emails, or IM's in your writing.

I also think you should add more detail and exposition in some parts. I understand that it can be a pain to write a transition sequence before getting to scene you really want to write about, but just saying "They Danced" really took away from the emmersion of the story.

 

Hope this helps in some way, and sorry about my horrible spelling and grammer.

 


on Jul. 10 2011 at 3:08 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Thanks for reading my parody! :)

on Jul. 10 2011 at 3:08 pm
Danealle SILVER, Wheeling, Illinois
7 articles 0 photos 119 comments

Favorite Quote:
Anything is possible with a smile and goal in mind.

hahaha! I love this! The blending of modern day speech with old english was done nicely.

I just think it could flow a little better and some more detail. 


on Jul. 5 2011 at 1:30 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Thanks! :)  Romeo isn't creepy in the original, but he comes off that way to the modern reader.

on Jul. 5 2011 at 1:27 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Thanks!  I'm glad you enjoyed my parody. :)

on Jul. 5 2011 at 12:04 pm
IncorrectlyWired GOLD, Milford, Virginia
16 articles 0 photos 57 comments

Favorite Quote:
"No great genius has ever existed without some touch of madness." - Aristotle

Okay, I was reading this in a library and had to try hard not to laugh out loud. It was a really funny take, and I loved that a time-travelling Shakespeare was inspired by something completely off. My only complaint would be, her reactions to his creepyness weren't quite strong enough in my opinion. Also, her boyfriend's reactions were almost non-existant, and some of the dialogue seemed dead/ forced. But overall, I loved this. It was really good.

on Jul. 5 2011 at 11:46 am
ArgonElement SILVER, The Woodlands, Texas
6 articles 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
Question Authority.

First time I ever saw Romeo being creepy. Awesome!

on Jul. 4 2011 at 10:04 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Thanks for the comment, Rosaa!  I'm glad you enjoyed my parody.  My apologies for not making the POV switch clear, but this was my first submission.  Again, thanks!

on Jul. 4 2011 at 9:37 pm
TrulyRosa BRONZE, Beaverton, Oregon
2 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Play the wrong note and we'll all b[e] flat."

I loved reading your parody! I think this is more entertaining than the original version which we had to read in freshman English this year(= but I was a little confused with the change of characters from Juliet to William Shakespeare - at first, I thought Will was Romeo and then when I read more, I realized who it was. But overall, great job! You're a great writer. ;)

on Jul. 4 2011 at 12:13 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Thank you! :)

on Jul. 3 2011 at 8:41 pm
ShyWriting42 BRONZE, Mesquite, Texas
3 articles 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure...We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God."

Very nice story. It was both amusing and dramatic, and it flowed nicely.

on Jul. 2 2011 at 3:10 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Thanks, DarklyLight!  My method of gaining comments is quite mercenary, but it works. ;)  Thanks for reading my novel!

on Jul. 2 2011 at 12:02 pm
SilentlyRising GOLD, Decatur, Georgia
13 articles 0 photos 100 comments

Favorite Quote:
"My pen is the barrel of the gun. Remind me which side you should be on."

Congradulations, CarrieAnn13!  You're the 4th Most Discussed novels.  Wow.  I might have to try your method of doing that.  You're my hero!  Great story, by the way.

on Jul. 1 2011 at 5:56 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Thanks, BorderlineGenius777!  I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)


SciArc

MacMillan Books

Aspiring Writer? Take Our Online Course!