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Brittanylyn W.
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Summary: I was so terrified that night no one was awake and it was so unusual. It was strange when I got home from work that night I mean no one was awake. They were all passed out except my Father. It was like he made everyone go to sleep. I stepped in the door and to the kitchen for a little food because I had not yet eaten. He was standing in a dark corner of the kitchen.
He stared at me and said “Where in the hell have you been?!?!”
I looked at him and said quietly “I have been at work, where you know I was so don’t even go there!”
His nose flared and he said “Don’t get an attitude with me young lady I was only worried about where you were.”
I looked at him and said “Yeah sure that’s the case.”
He didn’t respond to what I had to say, so I walked away he grabbed my arm and said “Where do you think you’re going now?”
I responded saying “I am going to my room now let go!”
My father ran after me up the stairs, but before he could get a hold of me I was in my room blocking the door. It wasn’t much time before his strength over powered mine and I was knocked out not remembering a thing from that night. I mean other then going to my car after work. What if it was my father that had made me pass out? On the 16th of June 2008 I woke up in a hospital. Not even knowing then who I was.



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This book has 3 comments. Post your own now!

SecretAdvantage said...
May 17, 2011 at 6:48 am
please comment i would like to know what people think of my work(:
 
PurpleWriter said...
May 17, 2011 at 6:48 am
This is intersting, except it does too quietly. You need to slow it down, because if you don't people won't read it. I think the first couple sentences are good, but you need to add more action. And ditch the 2 years ago and 2 years later stuff, it ruins the whole thing.
 
PurpleWriter replied...
May 17, 2011 at 6:48 am

oops i meant goes too quickly

 

 

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