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The Sweetest Rum

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Chapter 5

My sleep was sound and filled with dreams. Some happy and some still wavering along past Eli’s whippings. I dreamt that I was drowning in blood that smell like hay, honey, and rum. The smell of Eli. Then I was being pulled by a raw whip that had some how become attached to my ankle, but instead of being pulled up and out I was traveling down but still out. Suddenly I was out and completely dry with Taylor sitting next to me munching on Lily’s dried cranberries and reading old love poems to Lily who was crying happy tears and also appeared to be the same age as me, but yet she still looked like herself. When I turned to say something to Taylor I saw that Eli was sitting beside me in a clergymen’s dress and we were riding in a buggy, when suddenly he leaned over and touched my hand gently.
I woke up with my head spinning in circles and my fingers with a faint tingle to them.
A faint rapping at my door, and Mother’s voice telling me to dress quickly was the source that woke me. I thought I caught a sense of alarm in her voice and panicky thoughts crossed through my mind. Was Eli getting whipped again? That could not be possible because he had not been out to the port or along the beach to help smuggle

since his last whipping. Did something happen to father? I dressed even faster not even paying attention to what I was doing. A button snapped of in my hand and I cast it on to my dressing table leaving only the button hole in my dress. I burst out of the room only to be quickly ushered back in by my frowning mother who told me to undress while she pulled out a nicer dress and told me to put it on. I stepped back wondering how dressing twice was considered quick, but mother had begun to hum a cheery tune so I decided there was not really a urgent matter and let her spin my hair up on my head.
I checked the time on the clock, it was still earlier enough that Lily might be sleeping, except I expected the racket I made getting dressed had woken her. Sure enough only seconds later her unkempt red head peeped through my door wondering what all the noise was. Mother gave her a stern look and a short scolding.
“Good Heavens Child! Go put on a decent dress and come here and I’ll do up the buttons. And Good Lord! Do something about that wild head of yours.”
Lily disappeared and came back half dressed with her rusty hair hanging down past her shoulders. Mother tsked gently at her and fixed her up quicker than I had ever seen her do. I finished getting myself ready just to be paraded down the stairs with Lily just behind me.
Mother led us to the parlor window, we both gazed wondering out of it and saw four british horses at the neighbors. Lily let out a little shriek.
“British soldiers! Oh, Mama do you think they are very handsome?” she squealed full of

I gritted my teeth and thought of what Eli would do or say if their paths crosses.
“They are not staying here.” i growled toward Mother.
“Why not?” Lily and Mother said in unison appalled by my abrupt tone.
“I am not a friend to the British that have tried to destroy some members of these colonies’ livelihood.” I scowled as one British solider made his way out of the neighbors door to his horse.
“If you mean your dirty little blacksmith friend, I recall he was whipped last week and does not deserve a livelihood.” Mother pouted.
I paused for a second wondering when she had discovered the ability to think or speak like that. Mother was not very bright and she would admit to it. She was a wonderful mother and wife but she would never be a speech maker or a right’s activist.
“Eli was whipped because of the taxes that the British imposed on us.” I clipped as the other three British soldiers came out of the house and made their way toward our house.
I gave Mother one last hard look and stormed away from the window. What would Eli say if he knew we were going to quarter British soldiers.
I went to the kitchen and sat at the table picking through a fruit bowl that sat in the middle of it. I was not in sight of the door, but I was still within earshot of the voices. If mother really wanted the soldiers to stay with us it was probably better that they could not see me, I was not exactly known for scaring people away with my face.

I heard some talking about Father and his going to Philadelphia. The soldiers seemed wary of speaking with a women and I could tell from mother’s voice that she wished I was there to explain the things she did not understand. I would not be the good daughter though, I continued poking at the fruit. I heard my name and then my age, and then mother went off describing me and how handsome I was. I sighed and knew I was done for, so decided to make my appearance
“Oh...” I gasped when I saw the men at the door, acting as if I had no idea they were here.
I chuckled to myself when their eyebrows shot up and they realized my mother was not lying about having a handsome daughter at home.
“Trinity, dear come and meet these lovely soldiers.” Mother bid me as I was expecting her to do.
I shifted my eyes toward the soldiers. I made a short curtsy and they touched the brims of their hats and nodded their heads.
“And what business brings you here to our little colonies?” I asked innocently still assessing the soldiers.
“Tax business, but I am sure your family pays its taxes taxes right miss?”
“You would have to address that question to my father.” I retorted. “Do you mean the sugar tax though?” I asked thinking of Eli on the ground, dirt grinding in his open slashed wounds.
“Precisely.” the soldier that appeared to be in charge answered with a evil toothy grin.
“I suppose these taxes that we pay are paying your salaries so that you can come here

and tell us to pay taxes so that you get paid your salary? It is essentially an unending paradoxical loop.” I grinned back to the solider that was now frowning in a an attempt to decipher the confusing mess of words I had spat at him.
“Is that a problem miss?” another of the soldiers who was acting brighter and bolder asked.
“Maybe.” I replied feeling bold.
I curtsied and began to turn hoping I had gotten the message across that I did not welcome British soldiers.
Mother too was scrambling for words to heal what I had said and gave me a fierce look for scaring the handsome men she could have had staying at her house away. I shrugged gave a curtsy to the soldiers who touched their hats with a bit less reverence and started to step away.
I left mother struggling to re-captivate the soldiers, and went back to the kitchen and the fruit on the table. I was joined soon afterwards by my flustered, furious mother mother who was followed by Lily in hysterics.
“Trinity Smith! How dare you insult and be so disrespectful to those men, ruining my family’s image like that.”
“I barely said a word. I just wanted to know what they were about.” My face innocent.
“That is none of your business.”
“If they are going to be parading around my home village I think I have ample right to know why.”
Mother harrumphed and walked away, not having any good reasons of her own to want them around. Lily watched her go before approaching me.

“I did not want them to stay here anyway, they did not smell very good.”
“That is the way London and the ocean smells mixed with gun powder and sweat.” I told her with big sad eyes.
Lily wrinkled her nose in disgust and skipped away, claiming to be off to school where she would tell her friends all about the excitement of the soldiers.
I made sure no one was watching me and then made my way to the parlor window. I looked out and saw the backs of the soldiers horses riding into town. With a sick sense of reality I hoped they stopped at the blacksmith’s to get horse shoes or some gun appliance, it did not really matter why they went I just hoped that they would have a run in with Eli and his uncle. It was common knowledge that the Commondews were the very least loyal to the king in England. I had no doubt that the soldiers would earn their well paid salaries when they met up with the blacksmith and his nephew.
Mother had a meeting with other neighbor ladies today. They usually got together to work on quilts and share the occasional gossip that they claimed they did not share for fear of being punished. I gave Mother a kiss good bye and she glowered at my happy face, still upset about the soldiers. She disappeared out the door, a basket of scraps of all different colors tucked under her arm. I made sure she was out of sight before stepping back from the window. I clapped my hands together in delight, finally having the house to myself. As usual on these Mondays when no one was around but me I went to the parlor

chair and took up my book to read, waiting patiently for, but not expecting a knock on the door. Every few minutes or so my head would pop up when I heard the sound of a horse or just male footsteps.
Finally a short tapping could be heard on the door. I jumped even though I was listening. I was in a flutter slamming down my book and almost knocking over a lamp that I caught and righted on the stand. I tucked up my hair and smoothed my skirts. I was expecting to see the usual visitor at the door and I smoothly walked toward the door and opened it to shining brown eyes that could only belong to one person in the whole world, Eli.
“Hello” I curtsied. “There is some hot water on the stove if you would like some tea.” I said motioning for Eli to follow to the kitchen.
He nodded silently. I was biting my lip now, remembering my dream from the night before. I poured two cups of teas and set them on a tray to carry to the parlor.
I sat back down in the chair I had been sitting in earlier and Eli took the one across from me. We both lifted our cups to our lips simultaneously eyes locked on each other almost nervously. We lowered our cups together and chuckled softly.
“Did you see the British soldiers?” I
asked He nodded. “Bloody thieves.”
“Mother wanted to board them here but I refused to let her.”
“How did you convince them to go away once they saw you?”

I paused, there he was again commenting on my looks, he was beginning to scare me by continually doing that.
“I confused them in a not very nice way, I think they left because they found out I could think.”
“So, you scared them off by being smart and witty?” he laughed out loud.
“Did they stop at your house?” I asked turning the subject away from my
accomplishments. “Yes, but we did not even open the door.
Let them see how it feels to be ignored.” Eli began to become flustered
I coughed gently and he stopped a half wince smile on his face.
“Sorry,’ Eli took a swallow of his tea “I just wish they would let us be ourselves and our own people, even as cliché as that sounds.”
“Do you pay taxes?” I asked curious to his financial state aside from the smuggling.
He lowered his face, eyes still focused on me giving a ‘do you not know already’ look. I shrugged and he pondered the question for a few seconds.
“We pay enough” he grunted sub- consciously touching his scarred back.
I winced with him.
“How is Lily?” he asked switching to a less tender subject.
Subsequently I exploded in to laughter so hard that tears streamed from my eyes as I remembered the fascination Taylor had had on this same subject.
“Bloody Brits!” Eli swore beneath his breath, staring at me with wide eyed confusion.

“What in the name of bloody King George himself did I say!” he spluttered.
I sucked in deep gulps of air and regained composure.
“Nothing.” I panted smirking.
“Nothing?! You can’t bloody burst in to hysterics and not explain what bloody caused it.” He was getting rather infuriated with me now.
I gave him my ‘quit swearing’ glare and he shut his mouth so I could explain.
“It is nothing really, just that Taylor asked me about Lily the other day and he was obsessing over everything I said about her. He was fascinated with every-” I stopped when I glanced out the window and saw a familiar horse and buggy coming down the road at my house.
“Does he not have a bloody life?” I scowled and Eli followed my gaze.
“Look who is swearing now.” He chuckled and remarked in all his wisdom, getting up to get his coat and hat.
“I at least have a reason” I muttered and began rushing about the room to disguise Eli’s having been in it. I picked up and straightened cushions, and then I nabbed the tea cups and scurried around the parlor making everything in order. Eli was standing in the middle of my rush with a smashing smile on his face.
“What are you doing?” I hissed as he followed me to the kitchen. “Why are you still here?”
“To say good bye.” he whispered as I spun around in to the grip of his hands on my shoulders. “Trinity, I am leaving. I am going to Africa this time. I am getting on the ship this time. I am not

just waiting for it to come here. I am going with it.” His eyes were searching my face for some sort of emotion besides shock.
I had frozen soled with his big hands gripped on my shoulders. I brought a hand up to my mouth and choked back on my sobs. I did not say anything, just looked up at him with big sad eyes. Eli extended his arms and wrapped my in a very improper tight hug. I hugged him back as tight as my arms could squeeze his strong frame.
“Be safe, Eli.” I whispered.
He had let go and was walking away out the back door just as I heard buggy wheels stopping outside. I tucked my sobs and thoughts in some corner of my mind to process later.
I sniffed and tried to paint some sort of positive expression on my face. A light tapping echoed across the room, such a small noise creating so much distaste. I looked behind me and made sure there was no sign of Eli’s coming or going. I cracked each knuckle on my hand and shook myself. Get a grip I told myself and strode to the door. I swallowed and opened it to Taylor.
He was looking much too cheery for my liking considering what had had just happened with Eli. I felt the urge to smack him and tell him that we should not be happy that my best friend is going on a dangerous trip to Africa. My fingers were twitching to stroke his face, in a very hard swift way. I changed the movement in to a curtsy grasping a piece of my dress, I tried to control my hands, I could feel each finger with a mind of its own begging me to let them rip something pieces. Begging to be allowed to unleash my pent up emotions of vehemence.
Taylor tipped his hat and I could see the jittery emotions that were jumping all over his face and around his legs, he wold not stop twitching. He thrust a bouquet of wild flowers into my arms. It was a beautiful arrangement but I did not have the ability to accept beauty so I averted my eyes from them.
“You can have a seat in the parlor I am going to get a vase and some water for these.” I said swinging my hand around in the general direction of the parlor.
I gritted my teeth and let out a repressed column of air through my noise. I turned my back and went to the kitchen. Eli’s voice was still lingering inside it. I could almost hear him telling me he was leaving. I heard him saying my name as I rinsed his tea cup in the sink and poured some fresh tea in to it for Taylor. I set the tea pot and cups on the same tray that was still whispering Eli’s curses at me and added a vase full of water that I propped the flowers up in.
I continued to breath deep in and out and managed to walk shakily to the parlor. Taylor was pacing about the room still wearing his hat. I shook my head at his back. When he heard my footsteps he skipped over to a chair and sat in it. He was drumming his fingers on the arm rest and tapping his foot across the floor.
I set down the tea tray and gave him a questioning look.
“Are you planning on having a short visit, or did you get a cheeky hair cut?” I asked gesturing looking at his hat with raised eyebrows.
“Oh.” he muttered surprised, as if he did not know he was wearing a hat.

He removed his hat and set it on the table beside him still fidgeting without reason.
I poured him a cup of tea still watching him to make sure he did not turn in to a frantic frenzied mess, what with all his tapping and turning.
I very calmly sat in my chair after handing him a cup of tea that immediately found a place next to his hat on the table. I stared at him. He was beginning to worry me, as if he was about to start spouting melon juice from his nose- type of worry. His eyes kept shifting from to all around the room and he was not focussing.
“Taylor...?” I began to say before he cut me off, by standing from his seat and rushing to my side.
He grasped my hand and an alarmed squeak slipped out my lips before I could clamp them. Taylor was on the ground in front of he his hazel eyes illuminated by his mousy colored hair.
I was shocked. He never left my eyes as his other hand fumbled for something in his pocket. He brought out a piece of paper and released my hand to unfold it. His eyes shifted down and he began to read it aloud, my complexion becoming paler with each word.
Dear Taylor,
First I must ask the usual questions concerning your mother, I do hope she is well and I hope the same for yourself as well. I am quite enjoying my time here in Philadelphia. In fact I have heard a little news concerning your doings in that small town within North Carolina’s borders.
I recently had the pleasure of being introduced to a

particular gentleman that I think you will find was quite an introduction to be made. This man was called by the name of Mr. Colin Smith.
At this point in reading Taylor looked at me a large smile on his face, and my heart sunk.
Mr. Smith I believe has a daughter, two actually. I am under a strict obligation be presume you know this man and his family. From sources of your own letters and from this man I have come to be quite in awe of the elder Miss Smith.
I must say, my noble son, she sounds like an absolute treasure. And if you share this letter with her you must let her know how sincere I am with my compliments. Her father is a very kind gentleman-like fellow. If she shares any of his virtue she must be quite a wonder indeed.
Also, in my letter I must address another issue requested by you. I do give my permission, (and Mr. Smith sends his also but bids you wait for his return) to marry Miss Trinity Smith. She would be a wondrous asset to my family and I would be pleased to call her daughter.
Best wishes son, Your Father Hammel Rhode
Taylor looked up at me letting the paper drift to the floor. He clasped both my hands in his own, which were quite clammy by now.
“Trinity, is it not wonderful.” he exclaimed, and for a few seconds reminded me of a rejoicing schoolboy when it was time for the harvest and he was not longer obliged to his books.
I gasped and began to shake. Everything bearing down on me was just too much.

I pulled away and squinted my eyes against tears. I removed my self from my chair and room and hurried out the kitchen door, searching for some fresh air. I heard Taylor’s alarmed voice behind me and his footsteps closing in. I broke free of the house and stood outside, the chickens squawking angrily and hungrily at me.
“Trinity!” Taylor shouted. “Trinity, are you okay?” he exploded a few feet behind me from the doorway sending the chickens in to a greater bustle.
He approached from behind me and tried to wrap his arms around my waist. I shrugged him off. The tears that had been willing themselves out since Eli left finally came. I covered my mouth and turned to face him.
“Trinity.” he spoke my name softly his eyes full of concern.
I exploded into sobs again and tried to turn away but he held him stiffly by the shoulders. His grasp caused me to begin to shake as he gripped me in the same way Eli had less than an hour earlier that day.
“Trinity, I am waiting for an answer.” he said still using a soft calm voice.
“I can... not give that. At least not until my father and... Eli get back.” I choked out.
“Eli! What’s he got to do with it?” Taylor asked his voice raising a slight bit in to a tense tone.
“Everything.” I breathed out hoping to be able to explain calmly the kind of connection Eli and I had always shared. “Eli is my best friend. I have to... well “I need...” I was stuttering over my words and Taylor’s face portrayed some unclear

“I love him, but I am not in love with him. I think that...” I could not get my words straight.
I bit down on my lip. What I said was not entirely true. I did love Eli more than I was allowed to let on about. I was still unsure though if I could ever be in love with Eli. He meant so much to me, but he was my best friend and he was a brother figure in my life, not exactly a courter but still a lover.
“Would you rather he be in my place?” Taylor asked revealing an almost bitter emotion. “I can go find him and replace myself with him if that would make you happy.” He was getting harsh, pretending all he wanted was my happiness. Taylor cared for me, I knew that, but he was not caring enough, to only want me to be happy.
“You can not.” I whispered.
“Can not what?” “You can not go and get Eli he is gone.” I said
more forcibly, letting myself here the empty ringing those words created in my ears.
“Gone where?” “Africa.”
Taylor’s eyes widened. “He did not.” he said unbelieving. He turned
away. “I could not have have been that long ago that he told you, I saw him last night, we played cards.” Taylor turned his eyes beating me. “Did he come and see you when you were alone?”
I turned my eyes away. “Trinity, that is improper and wrong.
What were you thinking? He must have only been leaving when I got here.”
I could read the shock on Taylor’s face. I

knew that Eli calling on me when everyone was out was very improper and could get us both in a lot of trouble but I did not think it would come to this. If Taylor knew he could blackmail me in to marrying him. I just prayed he would have the honor to keep my dignity precious. Blackmailing was frowned upon just as much as any crime but less punishable.
“Taylor,” I pleaded. “ We are friends, he is like my brother. Please believe me.” I looked at Taylor his hands beginning to loosen on my shoulders.
“Trinity.” He said softly and angrily. “My offer stands, and if you have any pride or respect for your family you will take it.” He walked away. The second person to do so today.
He had not quite blackmailed me but he had forced me to look upon reality in a unwanted light. I knew I would have to accept unless Eli found some way to take me away. Eli was probably already gone though and I was left here, to fend off my troubles on my own.
I collapsed and settled in to the doorstep. Lily would be home soon, I would need to be normal by then.
I knew I was inarticulate to Taylor and I knew he was upset with me and he had every right to be so. I found a chicken to cook for supper and unleashed my anger into ripping the feathers from its corpse. It was a relief in a crazy way to be inflicting my emotions on a dead bird. I finished with the feathers just as Lily arrived home. She opened the back, kitchen door just as I reached for the handle. There I was. covered in feathers with splotchy eyes, form my tears. The look on Lily’s

face when she saw me was unimaginably priceless. We both be began to laugh and I thrust the uncooked bird into her arms her arms, and she carried it to the stove in her apron. I began to pull feathers from my hair, and detach them from my dress that did not have the luxury of being covered with an apron.
I entered into the kitchen. Lily seemed to be handling the chicken quite fine so I went to change into a less absurd form of attire. I had not yet completely ruined the dress, but it was one of my nicer ones. I hoped mother would not be too upset over it, because it was partially her own fault considering she had dressed me in it that morning trying to impress the soldiers. I sighed. The soldiers seem so distant an idea and such a petty thing to think about after Eli’s visit and then Taylor’s.
I heard mother’s familiar footsteps coming in the door. I hurriedly made my way to the kitchen before mother suspected anything by me being in my room.
Lily had transferred the now cleaned chicken into hot water. She checked me over and decided I looked natural and not like the torn apart Trinity that she had seen when she first came home. She seemed to forget the mess I had been earlier with a shake of her head. I smiled and poked the chicken with a long handled spoon to make sure Lily really had known what she was doing. That was how mother found us in the kitchen. She came in in a storm all excitement waving something in the air. Lily and I exchanged a raised eyebrow glance and simultaneously shrugged our shoulders. Mother set her basket of

scraps on the table and was attempting to convey some sort of the foreign concept to us that was coming out of her mouth in a rush.
“Mama.” I said very slowly trying to understand her words.
I sat her in a chair and took what I now discovered to be a letter from her hands. I read the inscription on the front and I very nearly fainted. I felt my heart sink into my stomach and maybe even lower, then it jumped back up trying to discover a way out of my body. Lily turned around to see how I had gotten Mother to stop babbling. She took a single look at the expression my face and ripped the still unopened letter from my hands.
“It tis from Father” she said as if none of us already knew that bit of trivia.
“Is it not wonderful!” Mother declared the excitement of receiving a letter was utterly thrilling to her.
I was still speechless, my hand still held where it had been before Lily snatched the letter. I was trying not to think of all the terrible, atrocious, things it could hold. Father must have written his when Mr. Rhode did. Father never wrote letters. His inability to write them often threw Mother into a disarray thinking something horrible must have occurred when he did not write, and the same effect was often caused when he did.
I was brought back to focussing on the actual physical letter when Lily began to tear it open. I took it swiftly from her hands and she began to protest but I silenced her with an egregious look. She obediently let me have it. I quickly began to read the words to myself, fearing what comments it would hold for me.

To My Dearest Ladies, This letter may come as a
surprise or it may not, depending on how open Trinity is or if Taylor has visited. If either of those events has occurred then you may stop reading my letter now. If neither of the events has occurred then you may also stop reading my letter, because of course I would not wish to ruin the great surprise.
I could almost hear his cackle.
I do deeply wish that you hold off the wedding for my return, but if those young lovers are that eager then I suppose I can miss it. I would suggest bundling if you choose to wait. but it makes no difference either way to me.
My deepest congratulations to Trinity, and most heartfelt
condolences to my wife.

Sincerely, Your most loving father and
husband Colin Smith
My first response was to cast it into the hearth of our kitchen fire, the only problem was that Lily and Mother were waiting with eager attention to hear what it said.
Taylor must have known it was coming, if he had not known I was sure he would have attempted to inflict himself on me a bit more ardently.
Lily was reaching for the letter. I let her have it, better she tell mother than me. I left the room. Neither my mother nor Lily called me back they were too intent on those bloody words. I tripped out of the house breathing quite hard and running. Now that mother was going to learn about Taylor’s proposal everything was going to be over for me. It might as well have been an arranged marriage for all the joy and love that was going to come out of it.
I sat on the little bit of porch that we had, waiting for the tears of joy and maybe irritation at my not saying anything to follow.
Each and every second dragged out, my heartbeat was trying to speed up the time by pounding faster and faster, but time crept on as slowly as ever.
Time is a funny thing, going on a long time when something dreaded is about to happen, but speeding up and coming zooming by all at once when your enjoying yourself.

I was sitting outside contemplating time when Lily touched me gently on the arm. I looked her face, her eyes widened by the amazement of the whole spectacle. Sometimes Lily seemed so old and grown up and other times so little and wondering at everything the world could put on her plate. This was one of her younger moments.
“Are you going to marry him?” she asked plain and simple.
“It’s not that easy, sweetie.” I said wishing that it was.
“Do you want to?” “No, but it does not appear as if I have much choice.” I dropped my head into my hands and Lily ran her fingers comfortingly up and down my back.
“Where is mama?” I asked still waiting for her to come out too
“Still inside making an extra special supper to celebrate.” I could hear Lily’s voice thick with worry and her hand was shaking slightly with fear at what kind of trouble I could get in.
“Bloody men.” I growled pushing myself up off my knees. “Time to break some champaign glasses little sister.” I stormed back inside with Lily in tow following like an eager puppy chasing its tail. To her young mind this was all fun and a game, she could not quite grasp that this was my life in peril, not just some phase or short thing that would happen.
Knowing I was about to go break up my Mother’s celebration was almost depressing. Apparently I had not done enough bad things to her today with the soldiers to make God happy, I just had to mess up a few more things before the sun dipped out.

Mother was humming to herself and her cheeks were aglow as she set plates out on the table. She had gotten down a bottle of wine, which were saved for special occasions and though my situation might have been ‘special’, it was definitely did not fit the typical definition of occasion. She looked so happy it was heart breaking. I swallowed all my gut feelings to just let her be a happy mother for once and not have to be chasing after me, and I went and picked up the letter and cast it into the flames of the kitchen fire. Mother did not notice until she turned and saw me watching the flames gobble away the paper.
“Trinity! What do you think your doing?!”
“Destroying the evidence.” I muttered sarcastically in reply.
Mother gaped at me, she looked like a dead fish with her mouth held in a silly position like that.
“It is just not going to happen right now Mama. Give it a bit longer we will see what I do, please.” I gave her a hug.
Her arms still hung limply at her sides, still and like dead fish.
“Trinity, your father and I want to see you both married off well, do not disappoint us young lady, you have a good offer.”
I scowled, that was almost what Taylor had told me. Everyone was acting like I was nothing, they pretended I was ugly and poor, but I was not. I was often told how smashing I looked, and I was going to be dowered off with the whole farm. I had so much, but I truly envied Lily she would be able to put herself out there with almost nothing to offer but her quirk, but she would be able to marry who she wanted, without restrictions. I on the other

hand who had everything I wanted, even someone I could love was forced to throw myself out into society and behave.
“Tomorrow night I suggest you bundle.” Mother was still refusing to listen to me. She could not even hear the words coming from my mouth. She was caught up in her only little fantasy.
My jaw dropped. I pick up my ego and settled my jaw into stone.
“NO.” I said firmly. there was no way in earth or hell I was going to agree to that.
Mother gave me the mother look that meant ‘oh, really we will see about that.’ “I did not say yes.” I said trying to convince her to change her mind.
“It makes no difference what you said Trinity. Now go to his house tomorrow morning and invite him over for dinner and then we will just keep him here. I can arrange for Lily to stay with a friend if you would like.”
Defeat was seeping in. I could not just defy my mother. Life unfortunately just did not work like that. I was silent trying to think of a way to poison my chicken so I would get sick and maybe die. I no longer really cared if both happened or just one.
Supper was eaten in silence. Lily was fidgeting in her seat, and even though she was not permitted to talk I knew she was trying to discover a way to slice the tension between me and our Mother. I almost felt savage ripping through my chicken that had gotten a bit over cooked in the whole fuss. I could feel some sort of inhuman growl building in my chest. I wished Eli could help me discover a master plan to root all evil out of my life.

Bloody Africans, why did I have to remember about him. Taylor and mother had been keeping me so occupied I had been able to keep my mind away from his desertion. After I thought about his leaving I decided it was not just abandonment but a complete psychological mutiny.
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