The Voyages of the Waved Albatross

December 11, 2012
By IMSteel BRONZE, Wallhala, South Carolina
IMSteel BRONZE, Wallhala, South Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 128 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Learn from Yesterday, live for Today, hope for Tomorrow" - Albert Einstein

"Brevity is the Soul of Wit" - The Which


Summary:

Brown as a dead leaf that the wind has swept away from its tree, a mysterious sailor appears in a quiet cove in years following the War of Spanish succession, bringing with him a tale of daring, murder and adventure. All aboard the sloop, the Waved Albatross.

Tags: NatureHuman


IMSteel

The Voyages of the Waved Albatross


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This book has 47 comments.


IMSteel BRONZE said...
on Apr. 12 2013 at 3:12 pm
IMSteel BRONZE, Wallhala, South Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 128 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Learn from Yesterday, live for Today, hope for Tomorrow" - Albert Einstein

"Brevity is the Soul of Wit" - The Which

Thank you for the comment, I will definately keep your suggestions in mind.  You're one of the few on this website that have read my story and iked it, giving me some good advise and encouragment.  I'll get around to finishing your story as well.  Keep writing!

on Apr. 2 2013 at 9:25 pm
milforce SILVER, Bloomington, Illinois
9 articles 0 photos 135 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Those who have the ability to act, have the responsibility to act."

First off, I’ll tell you how excited I am to be reading this. It seems really interesting to read and I do love a good pirate story. By the way, I write my reviews as I’m reading the story so I don’t forget anything. Alright, one of the first thing I’m noticing is that this story is dripping with adjectives. Too many, in my opinion. I understand if you’re trying to put a really good image in the reader’s mind, but this many adjectives puts limitations on the reader’s imagination so they actually don’t get that great of a picture. Simplify, simplify, simplify. Someone told me once that the road to hell is paved in adjectives and I don’t disagree. Now, if this is your writing style and it’s what you want, don’t let me get in your way. I just think that most people will prefer less. “Only those free of worry dare ask me that,” he hissed, “And I can assure you, mister, that you are not at all free of the shadow of fear.” ß awesome! That was pretty epic, honestlyJ. “Excuse me ambiguous nature. Old habits, etc.” That etc. seems really out of place…would he really say that? There’s a few parts where we could use another dialogue tag just to keep track of who’s speaking when with a little more ease. Your dialogue is excellent! Very realistic and time appropriate. Also the mannerisms of the sailor and the soldier are perfect! The scene where the sailor was drinking in the marketplace was very good. Very descriptive (but not TOO descriptiveJ) and I got a really good image in my mind. And so was the end of the chapter. Very, very good. You really calmed down on the adjectives toward the end which is great. So overall, the first chapter was very interesting. You did a great job of setting up the sailor as a character that’s not really a ‘hero’ but just a sailor, you know? He’s got his flaws and certainly shows them in this chapter. I know I’ve said it before, but I truly am impressed, so again, awesome, awesome job with the dialogue and setting. Every last detail is perfect and completely believable. It’s so believable that I would probably believe the details in this story over a historians, hahahaJ But anyway, just simplify in the beginning and make sure everything that’s said would truly be said. I know that last things hard since it’s set in the 1700s but if you’ve done this much, you can certainly do that too! Fantastic job and I hope this helps!!:) I'll try to get to your other chapters in the next few days!

IMSteel BRONZE said...
on Mar. 8 2013 at 12:07 pm
IMSteel BRONZE, Wallhala, South Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 128 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Learn from Yesterday, live for Today, hope for Tomorrow" - Albert Einstein

"Brevity is the Soul of Wit" - The Which

Thank you so much!  I loved your story too, I'll get around to finishing it soon. 

on Mar. 7 2013 at 11:56 am
Stella_Val_Illicia GOLD, Salt Lake City, Utah
13 articles 0 photos 248 comments

Favorite Quote:
"In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people angry and been widely regarded as a bad idea."
--Douglas Adams

That, my friend, is a wonderful story. I love the way the characters speak. It makes the whole' pirate story' aspect to it more prominent and realistic for me. Bones kind of reminds me of Jack Sparrow, but at the same time you've written this story in a way that makes me take Bones far more seriously. Love this! 

on Mar. 6 2013 at 8:59 pm
Elphabalover72, North Ridge, California
0 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"People are going to bitch about me anyway so I might as well give them something to bitch about," Helena Bonham Carter.

I agree with Becy. The characters and the vivd descriptions are fantastic but the long paragraphs do make it a little tougher to read. Over all well done:)

IMSteel BRONZE said...
on Feb. 23 2013 at 2:29 pm
IMSteel BRONZE, Wallhala, South Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 128 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Learn from Yesterday, live for Today, hope for Tomorrow" - Albert Einstein

"Brevity is the Soul of Wit" - The Which

Thank you so much!  I was kind of hopeing it would be a little hard to read, so I'm okay with that.  You're a great writer too.  Thanks!

on Feb. 23 2013 at 8:00 am
BeccyFxx BRONZE, Harrogate, Other
2 articles 2 photos 21 comments
You are really a fantastic writer! I only have one critisim: That it is a little hard to read because of the long paragraphs (sorry your probably quite tired of reading that!) . The description is fantastic however and you can really get a sense of the characters way of thinking

IMSteel BRONZE said...
on Feb. 1 2013 at 5:16 pm
IMSteel BRONZE, Wallhala, South Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 128 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Learn from Yesterday, live for Today, hope for Tomorrow" - Albert Einstein

"Brevity is the Soul of Wit" - The Which

Thank you.  The way they are speaking is called the Victorian Era speech, and I wish they spoke like that nowadays, it was more courteous, and literary. 

on Jan. 31 2013 at 2:42 pm
Apollo77 PLATINUM, Brunswick, Ohio
20 articles 0 photos 103 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.”
"Madame, all stories, if continued far enough, end in death, and he is no true-story teller who would keep that from you."
-Ernest Hemingway

story is still going strong I see, but I have to say the dialougue is gaining a slight sprinkle of cheese, you know? Just a little! but I love the main character. I like how he is so piraty but he analyses everything in such an intellectual way...not that pirates can't be smart...

IMSteel BRONZE said...
on Jan. 15 2013 at 6:02 pm
IMSteel BRONZE, Wallhala, South Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 128 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Learn from Yesterday, live for Today, hope for Tomorrow" - Albert Einstein

"Brevity is the Soul of Wit" - The Which

Excuse me, I meant the fourth chapter. 

IMSteel BRONZE said...
on Jan. 15 2013 at 1:47 pm
IMSteel BRONZE, Wallhala, South Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 128 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Learn from Yesterday, live for Today, hope for Tomorrow" - Albert Einstein

"Brevity is the Soul of Wit" - The Which

Thank you all so much!  As I said I'm finishing up the fifth chapter and am getting ready to post it.  This is only the first draft and so, isn't the best it's going to be.  Thanks for reading!

IMSteel BRONZE said...
on Jan. 15 2013 at 1:30 pm
IMSteel BRONZE, Wallhala, South Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 128 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Learn from Yesterday, live for Today, hope for Tomorrow" - Albert Einstein

"Brevity is the Soul of Wit" - The Which

Hey everyone, I am almost done with the fifth chapter of the book, I will have posted by the day after-tomorrow at the latest, stay tuned!

on Jan. 14 2013 at 10:09 pm
In_Love_with_Writing GOLD, Easton, Pennsylvania
12 articles 0 photos 389 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13

Wow! It's really good. You're an excellent writer :)

on Jan. 14 2013 at 9:00 pm
Apollo77 PLATINUM, Brunswick, Ohio
20 articles 0 photos 103 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.”
"Madame, all stories, if continued far enough, end in death, and he is no true-story teller who would keep that from you."
-Ernest Hemingway

I love how dark and mysterious this is and i love the historical setting. I love the dialogue, that type of dialogue has the potential to be very cheesy but it works for you. Really great job! Love the story

IMSteel BRONZE said...
on Jan. 13 2013 at 7:00 pm
IMSteel BRONZE, Wallhala, South Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 128 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Learn from Yesterday, live for Today, hope for Tomorrow" - Albert Einstein

"Brevity is the Soul of Wit" - The Which

Thank you so much, I'm going to read yours now. 

on Jan. 13 2013 at 2:41 pm
marchbutterfly GOLD, Orange, New Jersey
18 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When you play God, you get screwed."

I've only read the first chapter so far but I have to say that already it seems pretty good. It is very descriptive and there is great imagery. The only real criticisms I have is the dialogue is kind of hard to read and there are a couple of very small grammatical error. Other than that good job and keep on writing

IMSteel BRONZE said...
on Jan. 12 2013 at 2:28 pm
IMSteel BRONZE, Wallhala, South Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 128 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Learn from Yesterday, live for Today, hope for Tomorrow" - Albert Einstein

"Brevity is the Soul of Wit" - The Which

I'm in the process of making the book, these are just the first chapters.  I'm almost done with chapter four.  It's actually going to be very long. 

on Jan. 11 2013 at 9:55 pm
therabidrabbit BRONZE, Rockville, Maryland
3 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
Two things are infinte: the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe - Albert Einstein

I really liked it. The only criticism I would have is that the ending was rather abrupt. I think, if made longer, it would be a good book.

IMSteel BRONZE said...
on Jan. 11 2013 at 12:09 pm
IMSteel BRONZE, Wallhala, South Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 128 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Learn from Yesterday, live for Today, hope for Tomorrow" - Albert Einstein

"Brevity is the Soul of Wit" - The Which

Thank you so much for the feedback, you obviously have a good brain.  Just know this:  I don't write so that everyone who can't really appreciate the art of desciption can enjoy it, I write so as to bring back literature of ages past, where the heart of the story lies in the picture that the author paints with his words.  Thanks again!

on Jan. 10 2013 at 7:52 pm
GuardianoftheStars GOLD, Shongaloo, Louisiana
17 articles 0 photos 495 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let's tell young people the best books are yet to be written; the best painting, the best government, the best of everything is yet to be done by them."
-John Erslcine

Teen Ink has a way of messing with your format....


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