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Where The Mind Ends

Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 Next »

Chapter 1

A loud bang on the door brought me back to reality. A man walked in with a tray. He is well built. He carried a Taser and has the hardened look of a war veteran. He was wearing a navy blue blazer, tan khaki pants, and a striped tie. His chin was unshaven and his eyes were a cold blue. His posture showed he wasn’t a lazy man. He stood with his back strait and his chin jutted out.
“Breakfast” he said, obviously annoyed. He thrusted the tray at me and walked away to the door, paused, and turned around.
“My name is John.” He said. His voice was strong and stable, he was used to speaking to large crowds.
John walked away and slammed the door shut so hard my bones rattled. My breakfast was made up of toast, orange juice, an apple and scrambled eggs. I thrusted the food down my throat hungrily like a pig. Just then a woman walked into the room. She was slender but fit. Her nametag read Annabeth. She is wearing a lab coat with a few pens in the pocket.
“Hello Iggy” Annabeth says, “You can call me Anna.”
“How do you know my name?” I grunted.
“Can I come over?”
“Uh, yeah sure”
“What are you doing?” I warily asked.
“This wont hurt a bit.” She whispered as she jabbed a needle into my arm.
Then it all went black again.

I woke up on an operating table in what looked to be a lab. I was strapped to the table with rough leather straps. There were needles and what not in me and there are a bunch of cages on the walls around me. There was a table cluttered with chemical concoctions that made me sick. There was a table next to me with surgeon tools. A rattling from one of the cages made me realize that all of the cages were filled with mutant forms. Except for one.
That one said Iggy.
“Hello Iggy” a man said walking in to the room, “How are you?”
“Oh, I'm fine” I spurted sarcastically, “I just love being locked away in strange places.” The bitterness in my voice made the man tremble. Then again, I am 6’3” and I weigh 200 pounds.
“We want to help you,” he said, leaning in with a grin, “I know where your mother is.”
Right then rage kicked in and I tore the straps off of the table. Then I took a scalpel and cut the man. Then I reached into the doctor’s pocket and took his I.D. card and his wallet.
“I’ll help myself,” I said to the man. I used the I.D. card to go through the door. I looked around and saw a guard on duty twenty feet away from me. Walking up behind him, I covered his mouth with one hand and karate chopped his adams apple with the other. It is a very effective move. Kills instantly and silently. Then I leaned him against the wall and took his belt. On the belt there was a can of mace, a Glock 17, ammo, and a Taser.
I walked down the hall to the door marked EXIT.
“Finally free” I thought.
Ya, O.K.
Why wouldn’t I be alarmed? The door might have a camera aimed at it from the outside. As I pushed on the door, I thought of it disappearing into thin air. Then I pushed my hands… into nothing. “Were did the door go?” I put the thought aside as I ran to a car. I decided try something new and picture the car keys in my pocket. Then I opened the car door, and drove onto the highway.
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 Next »

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This book has 4 comments. Post your own now!

applesauceHater said...
Nov. 27, 2011 at 5:26 pm
OMGEEEH!endings intense! One thing is that you should write a little more emotion and feelings. Like on the first page, you should say how he felt and how it hurt as he gasped for air when he was being choked. Or when he found out that guy was his father. You should have wrote how he was hurt, or confused, anger. Did he have mixed emotions. Did he feel anything towards the mom because of this? Or when he was strapped to the table in the second page, was he scared, nervous?But other than that(hop... (more »)
PolkaPete replied...
Nov. 29, 2011 at 1:25 pm
Thank you for the review. I am currently working on a follow up book for this series. I can't wait until I finish. Oh and BTW, I dont mind reading you work
kingofwriters replied...
Nov. 29, 2011 at 4:09 pm

This story was good, but there are a LOT of ways you could've improved it. The plot seemed weak, and you didn't describe the mother telling everything to Iggy, so him learning about his powers kind of seemed like a minor event in the story compared to him renting a motel room. 

You also should've described what the characters looked like, and used higher vocabulary. The whole story seemed to go by really quickly, and it's because you didn't really take the time to describe your en... (more »)

PolkaPete replied...
Nov. 30, 2011 at 1:24 pm
BTW you wote the same thing twice but im only in 7th grade so im still working on it.

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