Rat Key | Teen Ink

Rat Key

October 13, 2011
By milforce SILVER, Bloomington, Illinois
milforce SILVER, Bloomington, Illinois
9 articles 0 photos 135 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Those who have the ability to act, have the responsibility to act."


Summary:

A man who has forgotten his name arrived in a city where he had no choice but to become a thief if he wanted to live. Every time he was caught stealing, the police would chase him, calling "Rat!" over and over again. Due to his lack of a regular name, he adopted the name Rat.
Rat went to live in the Tunnels, which is an enormous and elaborate maze of tunnels that run underneath the futuristic city of Maw. The unfortunate thing; that's where all of the gangs reside. Rat has no interest in joining a gang, so they don't exactly like him down there, but then again, they don't exactly like on the Surface either.


milforce

Rat Key


Similar books


JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This book has 90 comments.


on Oct. 20 2011 at 3:49 pm
milforce SILVER, Bloomington, Illinois
9 articles 0 photos 135 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Those who have the ability to act, have the responsibility to act."

You really think it could be a movie? Thanks so much! And I'm trying my best to finish the next chapter but school keeps taking up my time...

Kojiye said...
on Oct. 20 2011 at 11:05 am
Kojiye, Brandon, Florida
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"The room, the room was one of the luxuries I also came accustom too. Being trapped in a steel box that crackled of drizzling rain and the screams of the mentally insane." -The Majestic

Very Great! Like to see more of this story!

Could be a great Film one day!


on Oct. 17 2011 at 3:56 pm
milforce SILVER, Bloomington, Illinois
9 articles 0 photos 135 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Those who have the ability to act, have the responsibility to act."

Kind of an odd question, but what did you imagine Hearth to look like?

on Oct. 17 2011 at 3:50 pm
milforce SILVER, Bloomington, Illinois
9 articles 0 photos 135 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Those who have the ability to act, have the responsibility to act."

Thanks so much for the advice and you're right, I do need to describe more. I always plan to when I edit, but I end up forgetting about it...

on Oct. 16 2011 at 6:17 pm
Cooper_W SILVER, Atlanta, Georgia
8 articles 0 photos 12 comments

A very interesting premise that I'm looking forward to seeing more of. I absoluely love dystopian/futuristic settings, and I need my fix, so this is perfec timing.

The good: At first I was kind of put off by the lack of description, but it really seems to work here, especially towards the beginning. (Though I think some more description towards the middle/end could've helped) I like Rat well enough, and the idea of the gangs is fun, so i hope we'll get to see more of life in the tunnels. Your writing doesn't feel to stilted, and has a natural sort of rythm to it, which is always a good sign.

The Bad: You could probably work on "show not tell" a little. Some more description would be nice (as said above) and sometimes in your dialogue characters don't use contractions where they would be appropriate (this is minor however) 

 

So yeah. Overall a good, solid, interesting premise. I'm looking forward to some more expansion on Rat's background and his interaction with the tunnel gangs. Good luck the with the rest of your story!


on Oct. 16 2011 at 5:07 pm
milforce SILVER, Bloomington, Illinois
9 articles 0 photos 135 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Those who have the ability to act, have the responsibility to act."

Thanks so much. I'm really glad you guys like it!

on Oct. 16 2011 at 4:26 pm
Sarajustine BRONZE, Massapequa, New York
1 article 0 photos 35 comments
Great! Can't wait to read it!

on Oct. 16 2011 at 3:43 pm
SilentlyRising GOLD, Decatur, Georgia
13 articles 0 photos 100 comments

Favorite Quote:
"My pen is the barrel of the gun. Remind me which side you should be on."

That was good!  I want to see where this story will go.  I agree with Sara; the ending was great!  You did an awesome job!  Write on!

on Oct. 16 2011 at 3:04 pm
milforce SILVER, Bloomington, Illinois
9 articles 0 photos 135 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Those who have the ability to act, have the responsibility to act."

Thanks! I'm going to post the next chapter pretty soon here

on Oct. 16 2011 at 2:55 pm
Sarajustine BRONZE, Massapequa, New York
1 article 0 photos 35 comments
I really liked this. At first I wasn't really sure where it was going, but I especially liked the ending, where you figure out how he got his name. Good job! :)


Smith Summer

Parkland Speaks

Campus Compare