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The Unknown

Antonio L.
The Unknown
Summary: Four friends, Tyson, Kassie, Jordan, and Erin are stuck on an island. There plane crashes on an unknown tropical island off the coast of Washington. They have to survive and figure out where the rest of there class is. Along with figuring things out with themselves.





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This book has 7 comments. Post your own now!

TheCoffeeKitten said...
Dec. 29, 2011 at 12:09 am
I like this story so far. =) It's got a very interesting plot to it, from what I've read. One thing that I would suggest is perhaps writing with a bit more emotion--really SHOW us what the characters are feeling, don't tell us. It's an easy thing to do, but something that ALL writer's struggle with. However, I do like it so far, and the style is interesting! Keep it up! =) ~CK
 
Steph0804 said...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 10:11 am

Problem; are the kids fazed at all by their friends' deaths? Also, the language is kind of detached and quick-paced, like it's a summary of the real story. Plus, realistically, kids with superpowers would be rounded up by the government for experimentation or safekeeping or just to make other countries jealous...

Still, if you work on this story and extend it, I really think you can turn it into a great novel :)

 
shootingstar97 replied...
Oct. 4, 2011 at 8:15 pm
I agree. It has a good plot and characters, but I think you need to develop them a bit more - maybe like show a bit of feeling. ex: a wave of terror hit me. where was everyone?
 
shootingstar97 replied...
Oct. 4, 2011 at 8:16 pm
o and btws - to make other countries jealous........ :D <3!
 
Hook11lives replied...
Dec. 28, 2011 at 10:39 pm
thanks for the comments. iknow i wrote that in 6th grade and it was first story.
 
Steph0804 replied...
Dec. 29, 2011 at 3:15 am
Cool! I wrote my first story in first grade, but that was literally a page long and it was about two characters named Mr. Potato and Mrs. Zucchini :P
 
Steph0804 replied...
Dec. 29, 2011 at 3:15 am
I wrote my first story in first grade, it was called "Mr. Potato and Mrs. Zucchini" :P
 

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