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The Ideas Desk

Jtatsu
The Ideas Desk
Summary:

     A hero's peculiar journey through Inspiration, Conflict, and more. Follow our shadow protagonist through an allegory of creativity, originality, and the story-writing process. 





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SparaxisThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 2 at 3:43 pm
Looks like I finally know who's been stopping me from turning my ideas into work.
 
SparaxisThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
May 3 at 8:15 pm
I especially like that you put endnotes at the end. That's what I've done with some of my work.
 
addictwithapenThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 6 at 2:33 pm
Plot & Overall: I love the concept of this story! As a writer, I find it especially entertaining and relatable. There’s nothing I would say to change, plotwise. Stylistically, just remember to only use adverbs if they make something clear that the context does not; otherwise they just take up space and are distracting. Sorry if I messed up any of the line numbers. I tried to count carefully, but mistakes happen. Thank you for the opportunity to review your work. If you have any questions ab... (more »)
 
addictwithapenThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 6 at 2:33 pm
Chapter 5: Line 4: Replace “on his own” with “by himself” to avoid repetition of “own”. Line 8: Replace “there’s” with “there are”. Line 11: Replace “it in Explanations’ hands” to “to Explanation” Line 15: Put quotation marks around “What if?” I think you should change all of this chapter except for the last two paragraphs to past tense, since it is describing things that have already happened. The last two paragraphs are good in present tense because the... (more »)
 
addictwithapenThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 6 at 2:32 pm
Chapter 4:Words to cut: “up” (line 3) “solitary” (line 7) “accidentally” (line 13) “in the process” (line 13) “with conviction” (line 24) “matter of factly” (line 36) “in exasperation” (line 37) “even” (line 53) “really” (line 59)//// Line 4: Add a comma between “dry” and “packed”. Line 13: Move “desperately” to after “tugged”. Line 33-34: “…he could feel a certain feeling of considerable weight, a feeling of importance, responsibility f... (more »)
 
addictwithapenThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 6 at 2:32 pm
Chapter 3: Words to cut: “roughly” (line 1) “hurriedly” (line 6) “Just then” (line 13) “distinct” (line 14) “abruptly” (line 18) //// Line 1: Replace “could just recognize” with “had just recognized”. Line 2: Here you refer to the shadow as “him”, while before you have only referred to the shadow as “it”. Line 27: Remove “(that was magically, still burning)”. It not necessary to explain why the fire is still burning. Line 27: Paragraph indent. Line 3... (more »)
 
addictwithapenThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 6 at 2:31 pm
Chapter 2: Words to cut: “then” (line 17) “awkwardly” (line 19) “resignedly” (line 25) “thoughtfully” (line 37) “wonderingly” (line 47)//// Line 1: to avoid repetition and unneeded words, this could be rearranged as “A loud and exasperated voice rang out:” Line 5: replace “came to” with “entered”. Line 7: insert a hyphen in “fifty-five” Line 21: Place the period after “Only” outside of the quotation marks. Line 25: Add a hyphen in “good-natured”.... (more »)
 
addictwithapenThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 6 at 2:30 pm
Chapter 1: When writing, your goal should be to remove all unnecessary words. This allows the words that are important to receive more attention and makes your prose more polished and effective. Read each line and ask yourself “Are there any words I could remove without changing the meaning?” Common words that can be removed are “that” and adverbs such as “really”, “rather”, and “very”. Anything that ends in an “ly” is suspect. Words to cut: “really” (line 1) “So... (more »)
 
Chrissiana1320 said...
Aug. 19, 2016 at 7:51 pm
I loved this the 1st chapter sucked me in. I see so much in your character. It is definitely original! Cant wait to read more.
 
CNBono17 said...
Aug. 18, 2016 at 9:30 pm
Once again, you prove yourself a master of Creativity. How true is this story. It has a very Pilgrim's Progress feel with the names of the characters, and its refreshing to see this kind of Originality showing up in a story ;) Well done and keep it up!
 

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