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Broken Souls

Author's note: i realize this isnt very origanal at all, but im trying to use some previously failed ideas...  Show full author's note »
Author's note:

i realize this isnt very origanal at all, but im trying to use some previously failed ideas and make them work, positive feedback and constructive criticism is much appreciated, if you just plain don't like it, go read something else

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Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 Next »


Over the next few weeks I spent my time either helping Saichi with chores or out hunting with Jin. He taught me how to shoot a bow with accuracy and how to skin animals, I still wasn’t too great at it, but I’m still learning. I still wondered who I was… Who I am… Why I’m here, pretending to ignore my curiosity…I don’t know, I’m still curious… but it’s nice here, I like these people, and I’m happy just to know I have a home… Sort of… without these people I would probably be… off lost somewhere… or long dead.
It had been a month since I started hunting with Jin. We were out in the woods hunting deer and hare. I had figured out a trick of hiding in the trees, making me harder for animals to detect when I am still. I spotted a hare and lined up my shot… I missed, but only just. “Not a bad shot, boy.” He seemed amused.
“Hey, I almost got it, and my name’s Nao.” He chuckled.
“I’ll stop calling you boy when you can shoot better than me.”
“I’ll take that challenge.” I went back up into my tree. I climbed a bit higher so that I could see over the trees. When I looked back at the village, what I saw horrified me. There were large pillars of smoke coming up from where the village was. “JIN!”
“What is it boy?”
“THE VILLAGE… IT’S BURNING!” I jumped from the tree and fell to the ground, when I hit the dirt I expected the landing to be painful, but we had to get back to the village as soon as possible. The strange thing was, it didn’t hurt. While I was in the air my body reacted on its own. Like it had done things like this many times before and it knew just what to do, and I landed painlessly. Strange… but I didn’t have time to think about it. Jin and Iran full speed back to the village. As we approached the city, the woods became clouded with smoke. It burned our eyes and lungs, but we pressed on. We arrived at the gate of the village or what was left of it anyway.
The gate was almost entirely destroyed, one of the poles had burned through and collapsed, the remaining support and the beam above had fallen and continued to burn. From inside the village, what I could hear terrified me. I could hear swords clanging in what was probably combat, along with the screams and crying of women and children, but the smoke was thick and burned my eyes. I couldn’t see most of what was going on. I drew the hunting knife Jin had given me and ran into the village. We found a few survivors and Jin guided them out. I ran ahead to find Saichi and Mrs. Yuuki. When I found Saichi, she had a sword in hand, and was fighting a soldier of some sort. He was clad in armor and chain mail, with garments of crimson and white. Her form was poor and she was losing the fight. When I saw she was in danger, something in my mind and body clicked, I had to save her. I took my knife and threw it at the soldier. Again my body reacted perfectly and the knife hit him in the throat, through a weak spot between his chain mail and helmet. Where did I get these skills? I didn’t have time to think about it. I ran over to Saichi. “Are you alright!?” She was breathing heavily how long had she been fighting?
“I’m… I’m fine, how did… how did you do that?” I didn’t know honestly myself.
“No time, Where’s your mother?” She coughed probably choking on the smoke.
“She’s… She’s farther into the village, she was in the market… when the attacked.”
“Alright go back towards the gate and find Jin, I’ll go find her.”
“No… I’m going too.”
“You’ll just be putting yourself in danger!”
“I don’t care! She’s my mother!” Stubborn girl
There was a moment of silence “Fine but stay close to me, and if we get attacked, no matter what happens, you run. Understand?” She gave me an irritated glare, and then nodded. “Alright, come on.” We ran onward towards the market. She did her best to keep up. The smoke got thicker as we neared the center of town.
We arrived in the market. The smoke so thick we could hardly see most of it, but the clanging of sword, cries and screams continued all around. The wind picked up and blew away some of the smoke. Through a moment of clarity, I saw Mrs. Yuuki… protecting a group of kids from a soldier. He was clearly of higher ranking than the others, wearing armor and a garment clearly more complicated than the others. Mrs. Yuuki was putting herself between the children and the soldier.
“Go, run!” she screamed at the children.
“But… Mrs. Yuuki…”
“GO!” she commanded. The children nodded and fled as they were told, infuriating the soldier.
“Mrs. Yuuki!” I called. She looked at me, fear was in her eyes, but there was also something else. Resolve, she knew what was going to happen.
“Go, get out of here!” she yelled
“No!” I set my aim on the soldier.
“Shut up already you b****!” pure arrogance in his voice. He lifted his sword to strike her down.
As I watched, time slowed down. I threw the knife; he was ready and dodged it, but only just. The knife cutting some of the thin chain mail on the edge of his neck. Then… he slashed Mrs. Yuuki through the shoulder, the blade stopped at her mid-section. Mrs. Yuuki screamed… and so did Saichi.
… Why… Why did all this happen… Why did she have to die…. These are all good, kind people… why do they all have to suffer… because of you, YOU BASTURDS!!!! I could feel a rage growing, burning inside, consuming me. A need for justice… I called it justice, but maybe it was just simple revenge, either way, it didn’t matter, they deserved to die for what they'd done to everyone… to Mrs. Yuuki. “grrRAAAAH” I snapped, I moved. In a blink I was in front of the man, gripping his head with a strength I didn’t know I had. Before he even had time to react, I smashed his face into the ground, crushing his head into a bloody mess. I was losing myself to the rage, becoming more like a wild animal then a person.
I didn’t care. When I looked down at my hand, my entire body had been engulfed in a translucent black flame. I could also feel something was different about my teeth… fangs? My upper and lower canine teeth had lengthened noticeably. I still didn’t care, didn’t have time to think about what I was becoming, my rage burned like the flames consuming me, they all had to pay!!! Something, a presence, guided my body. I held out my hand in front of me and an energy shot through it. The sword, the one I had been found with, crashed through my window and shot through the air toward my hand point first. I skimmed my hand over the top of the sheath as it flew by caught it by the hilt. The sheath kept going and embedded itself in the ground, the sheer force of the impact made the dirt around it scatter, leaving a small crater. As I tightened my grip on the sword, it to, erupted in with the black flames engulfed my body. I held the double edged backward and kept it held back, the blade almost parallel to the back of my arm, the larger side of the guard facing away from me. Then… the presence told me something… I didn’t hear what it said; rather, I felt what it was telling me to do. It wanted me to kill, and so did the sword, I could feel it calling, begging me to use it, begging for a taste of blood.
Through my rage… I heard Saichi say my name…I knew she was staring at me… I couldn’t bear to look up at her… I thought ‘she must be terrified of the monster I've become’ “Saichi…” I said through a demonic, layered voice, like another, deeper, jagged voice overlapping my own “get... somewhere safe. Find… Jin.” I could feel my rage growing again.
“Nao…” she sounded… not scared… but concerned.
“GO!” I roared. I swung the sword, dark flames traveling with it, the pressure clearing the smoke. I saw tens of soldiers in the distance, either fighting the few village men who could defend themselves, or slaughtering the others.
I pushed off the ground and leapt at least thirty feet into the air, almost like I was flying, and came down hard on a soldier, stabbing my sword through his shoulder strait down into his body. The flesh where the blade had touched blackened and cracked, the cracks glowing like embers. The man looked as though he was screaming, but no cry rang. All that came out was blood and ash. His entire body ignited with the same black flame that had engulfed me. He screamed, this time managing a small cry. He burned away to nothing more than a pile of ash in but a moment. His cry had attracting the attention of the surrounding soldiers. They all just stared at me, and I at them, looks of horror on all but one of their faces. The last looked frightened, yet puzzled. A look of realization and absolute terror struck him.
“General… general Garret? No, you're dead; you’re supposed to be dead! KILL IT, KILL THE DEMON!!!!”
Though terrified, most listened to him, stepping towards me, weapons raised. A few tried to run. ‘NONE OF YOU ARE GETTING AWAY WOTH THIS, YOU ALL HAVE TO PAY!!!’ I leapt and dashed in front of the fleeing soldiers, there in an instant, even though they were tens of meters away. I slashed the closest soldier from his right shoulder to his left hip, cutting him in two with ease, blood immediately spraying out of him. Like the last, the area around the cut blackened and cracked. He ignited and burned away to ash in less than a second. I spotted the next coward and moved on. Even faster then before, I was there in a moment, slashed him, and moved on to the next, one after another; they too, all burned away.in all there had been about seven that had tried to run, and now thy were nothing more the scattering piles of ash.
I had finished with the cowards, now to finish the rest of the basturds off. I chose a random soldier from the large group that had been watching me, preparing to even remotely try to defend themselves. I moved, faster than they could see, and stabbed him through the stomach, ripping my blade out through his side. Blood sprayed everywhere, on the ground, on his fellow soldiers… all over me. He burned and crumbled to ash. The other soldiers quickly formed a circle around me, determined to kill me and spare their own lives. They came at me one after another. I cut down each as they attacked. They quickly started attacking me in numbers. Eventually, one was able to pierce me through the back and out through my stomach. I could feel every inch as ran through, the blade emerging just left of my naval. As I staggered, more came, running me through one after another in various places. I could feel every one of them. The pain excruciating as each one ripped through my flesh and embedded itself in me. I thought I might pass out from the pain but it strengthened my anger and rage. I could feel a missive amount of energy building up inside. The dark flames around me darkened and grew. I let it out, the flames exploded; a massive force of pressure and wall of black flame traveled outward, killing and burning most of the group around me. The swords were ejected from me by the sheer force of the explosion, my body quickly healing and closing the wounds they left. They flew outward and impaled the few soldiers who had survived the blast. I looked around… one… two… three survivors, and the one who had called me general garret, crawling out from under the bodies of his comrade.
I quickly finished off the few who had survived, then looked at the one who had apparently recognized me. As I approached him, he started crying. I stabbed my sword into the ground; I wanted to kill him with my own bare hands. He fell to his knees and pleaded with me to spare him. I laughed “I have no mercy for the weak.”… Wait… what? Those weren’t my words… weren’t my thoughts, just how much of a monster had I become? What was this presence that had a hold over me?
I grabbed the soldier by the throat and lifted him off the ground, his flesh turning black where I touched “Die” I punched him in the stomach, breaking his lower ribs and probably rupturing some of his organs. I threw him against a building and started beating him. He was little more than a bloody mess after just a few punches… but I just kept beating him.
I was losing myself to the violence, I just kept laying into him “die die die DIE DIE DIE!!!” then I felt something I wasn’t expecting. A soft pair of arms wrapped around my chest from behind, and I felt a gentle figure press against my back.
“That’s enough, Nao”
It was Saichi. A bolt of fear shot through me, I was a monster, was still burning. What if the flames hurt her? What if her skin blackened and died at my touch like the soldiers had? I pushed her off and leapt away. Thank the gods, she was unscathed by the flames.
“Nao…” her face and tone were full of concern.
I looked down at my bloody, burning hands. What a demon I’d become. “Saichi…I’m…I'm sorry.”
“Nao… its ok now… the fights over… everything's ok now.” She said trying to calm me down. We both knew she was wrong, nothing was ok…. nor would it be for quite a while… if ever. I could feel tears burning at my eyes, as I remembered Mrs. Yuuki… but I didn’t let them fall. Right now I had to fight this monster I had become, if I didn’t, the presence that had a hold on me might make me hurt Saichi. The presence was still telling me ‘kill…kill’ and because I wouldn’t, it tried to move my body for me. I could feel my muscles trying to move against my will, taking all my strength to keep them in place.
‘Kill… kill more… kill her’ the voice commanded.
“NNOOOO!!!” I screamed, struggling to get control of my body.
A wave of concern and fear, not of me, but for me, washed over Saichi's face. I looked into her eyes and could see my own reflected in them. They were glowing a dark, malevolent yellow.
“Saichi…I'm sorry… stay…” I backed away “stay away from me!” though it took all the strength and will I had; I managed to get control of my body. I fled into the forest. I had to get away from her and get myself under control before I hurt an innocent… before I hurt her.
I had to be rid of this power. I ran as far as I could, boy still burning before the demon tried to take over my body again. I… I need to get rid of this power, get as much of it out as possible. I did the first thing that came to mind, I collected and forced as much of the flame and energy flowing through me and condensed it, the black flames around me darkening and growing like before, but much more intensely than before. I let the power go, the black flames exploding with hundreds of times more force than before, ripping trees out from their very roots and tossing them gods knows how far. When it was over, I stood and looked around, none of the trees that were left were alight and the dark flames around me were all but gone. A massive wave of fatigue hit me, and I passed out.
I opened my eyes; it was black all around, and… I… I couldn’t feel my body, Iike I was nothing, just… there. In the darkness… I saw a face slowly faded into view… it had dark black hair, pale skin, and sharp features… it was my face… but at the same time it wasn’t, the features were sharper than mine and the seemed to have an… anger about it, even though he made no expression.
Its eyes shot open, dark yellow and glowing like mine had been, glaring at me. “You can’t escape me that easily.” It hissed in the same demonic, layered voice that had been mine, smiling a wicked, twisted smile.
“What?” it didn’t respond, just vanished into the darkness again. I felt something… heat, intense heat, burning me. I looked down, though it didn’t feel like it, there was the rest of my body, and then the pain hit me, burning, turning me to ash. I felt my flesh blacken and crack, the cracks spewing out fire. I thrashed about in the pain, trying to put myself out, but to no avail. As the blackening and cracks were about to completely consume me… I heard a voice.
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 Next »

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This book has 24 comments. Post your own now!

crazyShruti said...
Apr. 4, 2013 at 1:32 am
i wanna read ur stuff.. it so gud and well expressed..!! i must appricate ur descibing ability :)
crazyShruti said...
Apr. 4, 2013 at 1:25 am
  i wanna read ur stuff.. it is so gud and well expressed in system..  :) 
CurlyGirl17 said...
Apr. 3, 2013 at 9:23 pm
This is great! This whole idea is really intriguing- reading the first chapter made me want to read more to find out who Nao really is and where he came from. You do a good job at describing the world around the characters; it's very descriptive- something I find tricky sometimes. I'd really appreciate it if you'd check out the first chapter o my story, Metalligirl, and leave a comment for some feedback or advice- you seem to know what you're doing when it comes to writing! :)
Stein replied...
Apr. 3, 2013 at 10:32 pm
THANK YOU ^_^ ill check it out, find me in the chat if you wanna talk

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