Advice on How to Be Beautiful

April 3, 2012
By theneverdoubted BRONZE, Coral Springs, Florida
theneverdoubted BRONZE, Coral Springs, Florida
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

In today’s society, vibrant teenage girls encounter the issue of how to be beautiful. They yearn for the secrets of pearl-smooth flawless skin with the right constancy of moisture and a smokin’ hot bod. Every growing girl with raging hormones wants to outshine everyone for the boy of her dreams. It is understandable, I was even one of those girls back in the days of puss-filled pimples and spectacle glasses.

It is quite simple for a girl to achieve her goals. A solution to possessing the classic coke-bottle figure would be to simply eliminate cars. Everyone will walk from place to place. The roads will be turned into bustling walking streets filled with females walking home from work, to school, or to the park to walk their dog. Not only does this benefits girls, it helps the American nation as a whole. Without the use of cars, gas prices will be meaningless, which correlates to the national debt slowly declining to extinction. Still not satisfied with your body? I propose the solution of Anorexia. Starve and binge yourself. After all, the beautiful and successful European models displaying Dolce and Gabbana, Prada, and Versace do. Do not stop until you reach the standard goal of 75 pounds.

Worry about your physical appearance. Do you not have the Angelina Jolie nose? Simply purchase it at the local plastic surgeon’s office Spending money on plastic surgery will allow little girls lure foxy men. In addition, Dr. Cohen can finally give his little Hannah the two Mercedes-Benz convertibles she has been whining for her sixteenth birthday. He sincerely thanks you. In addition, after your surgery, you will always know when to bring an umbrella. Other girls will be jealous of your phenomenal talent of deciphering the weather.

The desire for naturally smooth skin and silky flowing hair can be achieved for the overall good of community. Simply have everyone turn vegan. Eliminate meat and let the nutrition in fresh green vegetables magically turn your skin vibrant. Allow the vitamins A-Zinc give you amazing locks of hair that grow longer than Repunzel’s. Although there is an increased chance of muscular dystrophy because lack of sufficient protein, it is an easy and cheap solution for being beautiful. Maybe the Hindu’s will enjoy America more now.

A girl’s sense of style is extremely important. The global fashion community introduces lace as the new in-style. Leggings, transparent shirts, and even four-inch skirts are accepted by the young community as fashionable and sexy. Shirts that reach the navel can be bought almost in every clothing store and boutique. However, do not be appalled when a tank top made of lace is sixty dollars. “For that little piece of cloth? ”. I am sure the intricate floral pattern took ample time and creativity.

Cosmetics can be a confusing topic for women who want to become beautiful. The variety of make up ranges from type, to shade, to purpose, to brand, to form. In order to put on makeup, a girl must wake up several hours before her regular schedule. She must start with her concealer, which hides her blemishes, continue with liquid foundation for an even skin tone, hard-pressed powder to touch-up her skin, eye brow liner which perfect her arches, eyeliner and mascara to “pop” her eyes, eye shadow that match her outfit, blush to accentuate her cheekbones, and finally lipstick that outline the shape of kissable lips. Regardless, only years of daily practice will make a girl considerably beautiful.

Furthermore, there is the joy of waxing. Taming body hair is a sign of beauty, a symbol of growth and maturity. Facial hair needs to be bleached, while eyebrows need to be waxed, plucked, or threaded. Underarms and legs should be shaved religiously everyday. Bikini wax appointments should be set up every two weeks, if not more frequent. I remember my first bikini wax experience. In junior high, my girl friends chattered about the wonderful experience and the feeling of being a new, beautiful, clean woman. All the girls encouraged me to make the appointment and even offered to join and support me. I was excited, elated, thrilled I did not made the appointment that day.

This is what modern society proposes. Options are available worldwide for alterations, changes, permanent and temporary. Make yourself feel beautiful and remember to share you story with other girls.

The author's comments:
This is a satirical piece.

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