People have always told me to never be afraid of things that scare me, but I don’t know how to not be scared. A lot of things in this world that scare me. Mostly heights, spiders, losing someone, the word bye and being buried alive. They all scare me but it’s hard to overcome my fears.
I am scared of heights so badly, I don’t know how it all started but it started when I was little. Ever since I became of heights I have always been afraid of going to my dads work because he works on the 11/12 floor. With this fear I have never ridden a roller coaster that has hills, the ones where everyone screams. I became more scared of heights when I got older, mostly because my dad would always watch Monk or CSI: Miami, and I love watching them with him, but some people in those shows die from being thrown off a tall building or because of suicide. I don’t want to go high into the sky because I don’t want to die.
Spiders have always scared me, it was mostly when I was little that I became afraid of spiders. They have always scared me because I know some spiders are poisonous and can kill people, and I would like to live. Same thing with snakes. When I was little I would always see the big spiders like a daddy long leg, and I would be so scared. But now that I am older only the little spiders come into my life/house. I hate spiders so much but I know a lot of people that are scared of spiders.
Being buried alive hasn’t been a fear that has been around that long. This fear mostly when I started watching Monk and Scrooge mostly because they were both buried alive and in Monk he almost died. I know that a lot of people don’t like me and I don’t want to be buried alive, I have so many friends in my life and I don’t want them to be sad or miss out on my life.
Losing someone is a huge fear for me. It started when I was 4 years old and I lost my grandma. Then when I was about 6 I lost my great grandpa Hezzy. Over the years of my life I have lost many close family members including my grandma, my nanny, my great grandpa Hezzy, my great grandma Baxter, and many other people. I hate losing people because sometimes I feel like people are going to start to walk out of my life because I’m not good enough for people.
My last and biggest fear of all is the word goodbye. The reason I am scared of the word goodbye is because when my grandma died, the last time I saw her was when me and my grandpa dropped her off at work and I never saw her again until her funeral. I said goodbye and never got to speak to her again. Same thing with all my family in Wisconsin everytime I leave we say goodbye and sometimes I never see them again. I am always scared to say goodbye because I never know if I will see them again. I always hope I see them again but sometimes it doesn’t come true.
My fears always hold me back. Sometimes from having fun but I am okay with that, as long as I have people who love me and care about me, I don’t care if my fears get in my way. I always try to overcome my fears but sometimes it is hard. There are times in my life where I feel like there is nothing in my way but there are other times where I feel like I am trapped in a box and can’t get out.