February 19, 2018
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“Words. So powerful. They can crush a heart, or heal it. They can shame a soul, or liberate it. They can shatter dreams, or energize them. They can obstruct connection, or invite it. They can create defenses, or melt them. We have to use words wisely.”

- J Brown

Words. They shield you like a wall, or cut deeply like a sword. The effect is forever lasting.

Has the thought ever occured to you that whatever you say could hurt a friend, or even worse break them? Have you ever spoken and then immediately regretted your words? Mere words that soon led to destructive consequences? Has a friend ever done this to you? If so, I invite you to think about this, think long and hard. Quiet and deep.

I have always been “afraid” of words. Afraid of the words that cut my soul DEEPLY. You may think that simple words mean nothing, only to find that they mean something. Something so much greater. Something no one can describe. A dimension that can suffocate or heal you. Words pour out of our mouths like a full pitcher of water, once you start pouring, it could be difficult to stop. With time and practice we can all learn to pour without spilling. The same goes with speaking our words. Pouring a pitcher of water and speaking words are similar,  both take practice and skill to learn to pour freely yet carefully. No one thinks about being afraid of words, which you really shouldn’t be. What we need to be concerned about how our words without filters can cause damage. They can scar a person forever. They can tear someone apart. But most importantly, they can damage someone’s soul forever.

I know the way it feels to be spoken to with words that cut. Cut so deep it feels like a knife that is being driven hard into one’s back. It is painful to say that I too have said harsh things that have broken not only myself but another. I regretted what I said and couldn’t get my mind off it. This eventually led to a war that has been hard to fight.  This war revealed a truth that has broken, caused pain to, and even damaged another’s impression of me.

I lied to get the attention I felt I never got, especially from someone who didn’t even deserve my friendship. I led this friend on until it got to the point where my thoughtless words were pouring out of my mouth like a waterfall.
This had to stop, it wasn’t me. It wasn’t what my friend deserved either. I told the person who I once considered my closest friend the hardest truth to ever be given. What once was a heart that was full of pity and love for me was replaced with anger and sorrow. A mind boggling truth was unleashed. It started as how everyone feels when they get betrayed; Anger then confusion. The questions asked of me seemed to hit like bullets. I wrote long letters full of words that I hoped would show how much I knew I hurt the soul of one who did nothing wrong. How I betrayed one who was always there for me. Soon the words were shot back. Words that were said behind my back. Swearing not to tell, yet giving others hints of my mistakes. I begged to know why one would throw words that hurt, back at one who betrayed yet recognized the pain they had brought. The words that were said damaged one, but were thrown back to scar the other. Words that soon lead to a threat that was placed upon me. I had to make a choice. I choose not to listen to the words, the threats being thrown at me.

I can’t understand why we as humans say words that hurt. None of the comments or words that have been thrown at me have stuck, except one. “I was a good guy, until I met you.” The way you look at it, it could mean anything. I have interpreted these words into two reasons. One being that I brought the bad out, that was creating anger and an uncomfortable feeling. Secondly, I interpreted this as I brought out something that was already known deep down. This internal feeling was something that was acknowledged but wasn’t something that was comfortable to bring out. The terrible feeling wasn’t something that was commonly brought out, so when I brought out the worst it was uncontrolled.

The words being thrown around were caused by one person. I realize it “takes two to tango”, but in this case I took responsibility for starting this war. I started the words that hit like bullets. Words that cut like knives. Words that damaged a friendship I never wanted to end.

The meaning of the words both I used and another used were meant to hurt. They were meant to scar. To damage. Most will hear these words and be heartbroken, but I have found ways to turn words into an experience that will stick with me forever. These words will become a life lesson not many will experience this early in their life.

Words now have NO AFFECT on me. They no longer scare me. They no longer hurt me. They not longer will cause an effect that will boil in me for days, months, even years.

Consider this, the next time you speak to someone, think about the words you are saying. Think about how they may affect one’s soul.

Think about how your WORDS will affect someone in a drastic way! 

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