The Pole Star

December 30, 2017
By Monamee PLATINUM, Dhaka, Other
Monamee PLATINUM, Dhaka, Other
24 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Christy believed that friends are like stars, you can’t always see them but you know they are always there. And I believe that in this beautiful atmosphere of life, one does not need a million of such stars to adorn but one Pole Star who remains constant no matter what. Friendship is indeed one of the most amazing feelings but only for those who can ingest its true essence. It is beautiful only until it is kept so. Unlike love, it is not one sided but requires mutual trust between both the souls tied in this bond. Being an introvert, I had hell lot problems in making friends. It was not at all easy. Especially because once I make one, I get too much attached and usually end up getting hurt.
         Being one of the most popular students of my school both amongst teachers and other students, people had always used me. Once they reached fame, they started plotting conspiracy and I am forced to leave them not because I loved them less but because I loved myself more. I am quite picky about the people I make friends with as they need to fit in all the criteria I have set in my mind. I know it is impossible for someone to be exactly like me but at the same time I believe that if not same I will find someone who is perhaps close to me, whose ideas are like mine, whose heart desires the same beats as mine and whose thoughts flow free.
      My first friends were all chic girls gossiping about the latest happenings of school. I tried but could not become like them. I don’t know whether they found me boring or I found them weird but I do know one thing for sure, that it was not true friendship. It ended as abruptly it had began. Next I found some amazing girls who were mediocre in intellect but had a rich heart. I believed that I had finally found the ones I had dreamt of. I, Garima and Harshi were the best of friends and had promised to stay so till eternity. Harshi belongs to an affluent background but was down-to-earth…..just like me. Garima hailed from gaudy one but that did not matter as I found her quite like us than her family. Families do not matter in friendship, right? It is not about where you come from…..but what you truly are! With time, we became the part of a beautiful group of friends. We were fantastic five. Maisha, Garima, Harshi, Mayank and Bhavi. The most happening and talked about group. It went quite well for a year but as sections changed, so did people. Garima went into a relationship and so did Harshi. Being the most talked about student of my school I could not have afforded to talk to such people who are being gossiped about teachers and whose parents are called up regularly for disciplinary issues. I wanted to say this to both of them, I wanted them to understand. Before all this could have happened, they came and said they had prioritized their life and both had chosen their relationships over me. I had now become kiddish for them. They had all of a sudden grown up. It hurts, right? They chose and I left. Although I do recall both of them coming to try to talk with me but I no longer had the same empathy to continue. I was left isolated amongst all. My heart cried but my eyes were dry. This was perhaps the first time I felt bad on leaving people. I guess this is what we call attachment. Mayank too broke up with Bhavi.
               Beautiful days arise after the darkest of nights. We found new people and perhaps better ones. We once again formed a Fabulous Five. The three new entrants were Divyani, Shailly and Adheesh. Shailly and Adheesh had joined our school lately. Divyani was an old folk and I don’t know why I failed to notice her all these years. We once again began that endearing trial, walking past all old memories to create new and beautiful ones. The next year was to be a testimony to our friendship. We got separated as usual but this time the bond remained. Classes could not break our adamantine bond.  Though my class teacher made it a rule that students from different sections would not be allowed to enter each other’s classes, our bond sustained. We met only during the recess that too in the corridors. This taught me that we don’t need to talk everyday to keep it going, if it is true and is felt deeply, it will go on for a lifetime, cherished and remembered. After 3 years, I was quite sure that this is permanent. I once again felt that same attachment with these people. I was sure about one thing, that no matter what Mayank and I shall always remain friends for we had not left each other even in the hardest of times. I thought I had found my Pole Star. After three beautiful years, we all were selected in the School Student Council. People who did not know Divyani and Shailly knew that they were Maisha’s friends. While Divyani was content with this recognition, Shailly had severe problems. She asserted her entity.
                Who could have imagined that even this alluring bond would cease to exist. It ended with no reason to state on either side. They just stopped talking all of a sudden. I tried to maintain but unfortunately could not. I always have believed that friendship is much more beautiful than a relationship. In love, you can love a person even knowing that the other side is perhaps not even aware of it. But in friendship, efforts are needed on both fronts. Our break-up had left a deep impact on me. I made my pen my best friend. I spoke fearlessly the words of my heart on paper adorned with sentiments governing my soul. I expressed my pain only to my words.
                    After all this, I felt completely disconnected. I no longer had the heart and feelings to put into another bond. My emotions seemed to overweigh me. I had handed over my soul to my words as I felt them to be immortal escaping all pranks of time. I met a new girl Christina who somehow made me realize that the end is not near. She took the responsibility to keep the fire of companionship alive within me. She once again made me free to accept, expect and love. I have to agree that the bond was not as strong as I earlier made but there was something. In this while, I also found a new friend Ashna. I was more attached to Christina as compared to Ashna. Mayank and Adheesh did not approve me taking to Ashna as in their vision; she was spoilt and not fit for our friendship. As my friendship with Ashna grew, our old bonds slackened. My Pole Star started twinkling and all of a sudden we stopped talking. After so many breakdowns, I no longer had the courage to approach nor did they. This was soon after the formation of new Student Council where my old friends did not hold a post any longer.
              Christina was also influenced by the rest and I had to leave her. She had also changed. And at the end the one with whom I had the least attachment stood beside me through all odds. I was her Pole Star. The whole class went against me, plotting conspiracies to have me deserted and depressed. Even some of my teachers were involved in all this. Ashna could not reduce the problems but she surely gave me the courage to fight back. We emerged back as warriors, despite being cornered out. I am grateful to her for giving me that courage, for staying there and for being there when I needed someone. Thank you Ashna for everything.
      Today, at the end of seven amazing years I stand here with a Pole Star, my words that helped me shout, cry and smile throughout. My pen grabbing my hand through all circumstances showing me enlightenment in darkness and filling my soul with light. My friendships had it all, feelings, care, emotions but somewhere something must have lacked for what I am what I am today. Everything changed but I still remain the same perhaps just a little stronger.

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