When I was in sixth grade, I wanted to be a video game developer. I was madly in love with games at the time, because, unlike movies and tv shows where you observe passively, you interact with games. In middle school, I started to learn how to create my own games, but even with such simple software like Scratch, I found difficulty trying to make the games I wanted to make. I realized that the coding aspect wasn’t for me. What could I do instead? I was horrible at coming up with coherent stories of my own, and my drawing skills at the time were mediocre at best. At the time however, I was vain. Even the worst drawings I threw together were masterpieces to me. As I grew older, I was exposed to more and better works.
When I grew older, I learned more, and when I looked back at the lame artwork of my uneducated past self, I always said to myself, “I did this? I can do way better than that.” Around seventh grade, I was not very fond of exploring the Internet; I always stuck to the sites I knew I liked. However, my friends introduced me to countless media. Animations, music, and comedy were pretty much my entire seventh grade year.
I looked at the art styles of numerous animators I encountered, and tried to mimic them, but no matter how similar my drawings were to theirs, I didn’t feel as satisfied as I did when I drew with my developing art style. At around ninth grade, I had a somewhat developed art style, but there was still a ways to go before it was finished. I tried to draw characters that mimicked the appearance of fictional characters that already existed. That’s when it hit me. I said to myself, “There are all kinds of art styles. My style? It’s the only one like it in the world.”
In eleventh grade, I took an AP course in computer science, but I always had trouble. I constantly got angry with myself, because this is the field I wanted to specialize in ever since I was a kid, and I couldn’t code if my life depended on it. Whenever I had a long, tiring day, I always found myself at ease with a sketchbook on my desk and a pencil in my hand. I then realized the field in which I truly belonged – Animation and Design. I figured that animating would be very interesting, considering it’s a step forward from simple drawing.
I’ve learned a lot. I’ve gained a lot. I’ve lost a lot. I’ve done a lot. I’ve been a lot. But what am I now? I’m many things. A hard worker. A musician. A writer. A nerd. An artist.