I grew up in a home where checking up on people is always prioritized. I would see both of my parents always calling people to see how they were doing, even when they were completely exhausted. I picked up that trait from them, and I will be forever grateful. I enjoy helping people by checking up on them, supporting them in whatever way possible, and/or being a shoulder to cry on. There is no other feeling better than the feeling you get when you help someone with a genuine heart. It hurts me when I see people helping others just to be seen. That isn't genuine, and if you’re helping others just to be seen then you're doing it for all the wrong reasons. I genuinely enjoy helping others, even if it means putting everything on hold on my end. I’ve gotten to the point where, when I’m asked for my support, I can’t say no. And in the long run this hurts me, because I have to suffer the consequences of seeming like a strong person.That's something that both my parents and I suffer from. What really bothers me is when I’m asked to do something for someone, and they’ve never called me to see how I’m doing. It's always a phone call of tasks that need to be done. I call that taking people for granted. But my problem is that even when I’m hurt about the lack of support, I will still come running to you if you ever need me. As I became older and continued being taken for granted, I saw myself shutting people out in hopes of them noticing the lack of communication on my end.
And by support I mean checking up on me, helping uplift me, and motivating me during my low times. Anyone who really knows me knows that I would choose support over money, clothes,etc. I just want support, that's all. When I get to a certain point where I find myself being physically drained, I run through the list of everyone I’ve helped and cry. I cry due to the fact that I can't get myself to truly speak up on this subject. I feel like everyone should always check up on their “strong friend.” I can't get myself to truly tell these people how I feel, because some of these people are a huge part of my life. Well at least in my life. I find myself asking for very little, but I just don't understand why I can't get it. This makes me feel unappreciated. I wrote this to hopefully inspire those who also, like me, lack support from anyone whom they are close to. I want you all to know that it's hard sometimes, but in these times you have to turn to those that want to be a support system for you. Allow others to lend you a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes they are trying to be genuine. Stop worrying about those who aren't worrying about you, and instead, worry about those who are worrying about you.