My experience with Unrequited love, a play done in 10 acts.
You see him. Your hands start to shake, heart starts thumping so loud you think that he might hear it, you try to look away but you simply can’t. You didn’t even know him but you felt it in your gut that this man was going to change your life forever. Whether for the better or the worse you didn’t know but you didn’t care at the time.
A beautiful friendship sprouts between you two. You're comfortable with him, you feel safe, you’re starting to open up, and so is he. It feels perfect but you know deep down that you want more than just a friendship with this beautiful human being. But you don’t know what he wants so you continue to stay guarded.
You think he wants you, so you let him in, in every way you could think of. You let him see your heart and how it beats. You show him your soul and the way it flows throughout you. You reveal your mind and everything in it. Everything from your worst memories to if you believe in God.
He saw your insecurities, kissed them, and said you were beautiful. So you let him into another place that you swore you would never open until you found love like your 5 year old self used to dream about. But he found a way to turn around that closed sign that you kept for so long to open for him.
He says that he wants you and he cares for you but only when you two are alone. When others are around it’s like you’re nothing more than one of his buddies. But anytime you bring it to his attention he has some sort of excuse and you believe him because you want to.
You’re in complete denial about the entire situation. You put aside how you actually feel because you think he’ll change.
You advocate for yourself, putting your foot down because even with all of your flaws deep down know that you deserve better than just being loved when he’s drunk. He didn’t like that.
You two stop talking for a while. But once more when he texts you again you stand there like a lovestruck fool with your arms out wide open for him. Expecting him to change his ways for you because for some reason no matter what happens you think that you’re special to him.
This vicious cycle continues where he gets what he really wants and you think that because he gives you panic attacks it’s love, until…
Finally you snap out of his trance that held you captive for way too long and you end it all. You tell him to have a nice life and say goodbye. And it hurts so bad because maybe he wasn’t the one for you but all along you hoped with every bone in your body that it was going to be him in the end.