It amazes me how my little 6 year old mind saw it coming. I knew something wasn’t right. There’s not much I remember about my parents being together, yet I remember some trivial days from preschool.
At that age there is not much to worry about, other than if you are going to have goldfish or a cookie at snack time. Yet I was forced to think about why my parents fought with each other, why my mom was crying and why everyone wasn’t happy.
I write these words for anyone who is feeling lost, anyone who is feeling caught in the middle of a never ending argument. For anyone who is feeling trapped. I write these words for anyone who is feeling like a ping-pong ball being bounced from place to place or house to house faster than you can even keep up with.
I remember the day they told me. The three of us were sitting on the couch and I got the sense this was one of those very important talks just by their body language. My mom and dad looked at me with tears welling up in their eyes, hands shaking, and they told me daddy was going to move into the apartment. I haven’t seen my dad cry since that day. Even as a 6 year old I could figure out the energy in the room was different. That one day while all the other 6 year olds we’re out playing, my life changed forever.
I was confused. I was angry. I was alone. I was in denial. With no other siblings to help me, it was just me. I was supposed to understand that my parents weren’t going to live together anymore. I didn’t understand because that didn’t happen in princess movies, in princess movies everyone lives happily ever after. I always assumed they would end up back together and have a fairy tale ending but maybe that was just me being childish.
It's okay, I know now that my parents divorce shaped me into the person I am now. It was a very important part of making me strong, independent and self- reliant, traits I pride myself on today. We have two choices in life, to either face adversity head on our cower from our problems. The trials that we face in life are the factors that shape who we are and who we become.Having two happy, loving parents who live in separate houses is always better than two unhappy ones who live together.
After all, life isn’t a disney princess movie anyway.