They say that being nervous up on stage is normal. I’ve never been nervous at least not in front of people or any crowd in that matter. Does that mean I’m not normal? I never understood the meaning of stage fright. What were people afraid of? Being embarrassed? Well if you are afraid of being embarrassed then why did you sign up for dance in the first place? The whole entire process of dance class is learning a routine and performing it in front of your family and friends. I mean you’d think you would know that sooner or later you're going to dance in front of millions of people with a funny costume on and dance that routine. I’ve just started dancing it’s my first time. The dancing season is almost over and I have my end of the year performance coming up in a couple of days. This performance is where all the children come out to perform their own routine they have been taught. I’m not what you call passionate in dancing it's just always been a thing my mom wanted me to do.When my mom was young she always loved to dance. Her experience in dance she says, “Gave me joy. It gave me a purpose, it gave me a unique sense of happiness. And I just want you to experience that same feeling”. What happiness? What feeling? In a 7 year old girls eye’s that's when I thought mom lost it. I was very confused at the time, I just wish I could find what my mom said, I wish I could find that unique sense of happiness. I know it’s wrong to do something that I don’t enjoy but I just want my mom to be proud of me. Dance class was never very amusing in my eyes, I would always
fall and turn the other direction during our routine. I could only imagine what my dancing is going to look like in front of thousands of people.
The day has arrived I’m dressed in a leotard that's bright, like the sun on a nice Florida day with yellow feathers at the trim of the skirt.
“You’re next girls! Ready?” a lady from back stage whispered.
Depends what do you mean by ready? Do I know the steps? Sure . Am I confident I’ll succeed? Due to my performance in dance class, not so confident. Am I scared? I don’t know.
“I’m soooooooooooooooooo nervous” A girl named Francine whispered to another girl in my dance class.
I’m nervous too. I guess? Just praying I don’t fall. I gracefully walked on the stage with my fellow dancers. WOW! I see the spotlights shining in the audience. There's mommy and daddy! cheering me on in the audience along with my brother. Ok mom it's time to make you proud. The lights shine as if they were little tiny suns surrounding me. I heard the crowd cheering. There cheers gradually fade away as the lights begin to dim. It’s time to start. I place my foot in front of the other in ready position 3...2...1 the lights come back on and the music starts to play. As I started to dance this new feeling started bursting through my chest. Was this the nerves? No that's not it. This feeling was more joyful and neutral, the type of feeling that happens when your heart is filled with joy. This feeling was excitement. Suddenly a smile is drawn on my seven year old face. My dancing looked as if I was a pelican walking on sticks. I didn’t care. I enjoyed every moment up on stage. A voice was calling me to the stage that night. It was amazing! Was this the feeling my mom was talking about? As the light’s began to dim again I knew it was over and it was time to walk off the stage. My face looks as if I saw a ghost as I’m walking towards my parent who are waiting for me in the lobby. They come rushing over to me.
“Honey you were amazing!” my mother said.
I can see the joy in her eyes. That's what made me smile the most on that day. The moment where your loved ones are proud about what you did that’s when I knew I accomplished my goal tonight. Even though I didn’t like dancing. But when I was on that stage I finally felt the feeling my mom was talking about.
“Nice job honey” my Dad replied patting me on the back.
“That's it?” I asked my mom.
Dancing was never my thing. It was always what my mom thought would give me my sense of happiness because that's what it did for her. But I had to find my sense of happiness, I had to find my purpose, my passion. Ands that's when it happened at that very moment, on that very day, that's when an actress was born.
June 13, 2017