People are multi-faceted. There’s the face you see at school, in public, there’s the face you don’t see when they’re at home with friends and family. There’s the professional face, the polite face, the informal face. But this isn’t strictly external. People are three dimensional on the inside too. And the thing about having multiple traits is that there are good traits and there are bad traits. People can be loyal and honest but they can also be flighty and prone to running away from their problems and the people in their life. The scary part is that you never know which side of a person you’ll be treated with, the good or the bad. And the thing about trust is, if someone trusts you enough, you’ll get all of them, the good and the bad, and the bad is where people get hurt. I believe you need to be careful about trusting others.
People are like christmas presents. Sometimes you get exactly what you want or needed. Sometimes you get stale cookies. You yourself have to trust that you’ll get that video game you’ve been begging for. But it’s inevitable that you’ll get some stale cookies. That’s the danger in trust. Have you ever had your heart broken? It’s par for the course. Everyone has a dark side and that side can be heartbreaking to others.
I’ve been burned by the dark side before, heartbroken, multiple times, and all because I trusted people. Because I gave them power over me. I’ve been shot with accusations, told that I’m a “bad friend,” that I’m “annoying.” But I’ve also been treated with the good side, from people who had my back, reminded me of my worth, however little it is. These people reassure me when something goes wrong, they support me in my decisions, are there for me.
Only one third of americans trust others. That is one third the amount of people in an entire nation that have been burned so bad they no longer want to believe in anyone, maybe not even the people closest to them. Trust is a dangerous game, but it can be rewarding if you strike gold. I know of friends who have misplaced trust too. People who believed in others just to be let down. But I also know now that it’s possible to nurture rewarding relationships with other people. Relationships where the give and take is equal and both parties are satisfied.
Human interaction is important. Talking, joking, laughing, bantering, even arguing. Being social provides something you just can’t get anywhere else. But how someone is interacted with sets the tone for how they receive any future interactions. Someone who has been treated with respect majority of the time are much more likely to freely give out their trust. But someone who’s been mistreated, put down or abandoned, for most of their life will of course be a lot less trusting, maybe in turn hurting the people around them just because they themselves have been hurt maybe one too many times. I believe the best way to fully be able to trust and be yourself is to learn who you can let in and who you need to cut off. Of course that takes trial and error and can potentially bring on a lot of pain, but if you’re willing to walk through the fire, eventually you’ll find the happiness you deserve by being surrounded by only those you know are worthy.
It’s just as important to prove that you yourself are trustworthy as it is to find people who are. If no one can trust you, no one will get close to you and you won’t even have the ability to decide who to trust and who to kick to the curb. I believe that if you want to be happy you got to trust and be trusted. You too need to be there for other people when they need it, to prove that you can be counted on.