It was the beginning of September, 2010. It was super early in the morning and the sun was shining so brightly. It was our last hug and I didn't know when I would see you again so I savoured every second of that amazing hug. I remember your scent. Your smile. Your laugh. How you would blast Eminem and by the time I was 6 I knew all his songs. The way you used to drink your Mountain Dew and the way you took your coffee. Watching the craziest shows together that most dads wouldn't watch with their kids (Family Guy, Beavis & Butthead, etc.). But I can't get over how much has changed since then. It's been almost 7 years since I've felt your presence and it kills me everyday. Not ever really knowing what you're doing, where you are, how you're feeling. You've did always have a tendency of being reckless and it seems as if it's gotten worst over the years. You've really shown your addictive personality anymore and to all the wrong things. Didn't you ever look past certain things to notice that your only child needed you and you weren't there? No. You were too busy wanting and loving things that would never appreciate you back like I proved I did. I'll love you forever. That's something I'll make sure never changes. You may say that I'll be "better off" without you, but I promise that that's not true. It could never be true. I know you're in pain ever since your accident, but this world would not be the same without you. You have too many people who care about you. We're too alike and even though you've changed, and not necessarily for the better, I know how your mind works, regardless of how it may have changed. Just know that once I see you again, we'll have all this time to make up for and I'll pretend as if things never even changed at all. We were always able to pick up where we left off and that's the best part. I just know it's always been so hard to leave you once I saw you. Maybe I shouldn't have. I didn't know it would be so easy for us to lose contact over the years, but I hope we are able to gain it back and see each other again soon. I love you, dad.
Daddy, Where'd You Go?
February 20, 2017