I'm that one girl. The one who always tries to fit in and always gets denied. The only one who isn’t trying to be fake. The one who is trying to be herself for once. I don't understand. I am the girl who on Valentine's day, watches everyone else get asked out, and get flowers, and candy, and I get nothing. Everyone but me gets one. I am the one who never has a partner. And then when people find out I am alone, or didn’t get anything, they get me something or pay attention to me because they feel bad for me. It's just not fair. What is it about me that nobody likes me? Or am I just not accepting? I am the one who sits by herself every single class period. The one who gets laughed at, or judged because of who I am. I hate when people feel bad for me, because that just means another fake friend.
Today is Valentine's day. I am sitting by myself in my A Capella class, and I watch my old friends opening their valentines, and trade, and play with their stuffed animals, and complaining on why they didn't get enough, or who got asked out by a cute boy. I used to be friends with them.
I am new to this school. The first day of school, Stella asked me to sit next to her and her friends. She seems to be the only person that truly cares. I don’t even know whether to call her a friend or not, because I really don't know what it is like to have a good friend. Someone to have sleepovers with, hang out, or even sit by eachother during class. Someone to talk about the cute boys in the school, and have someone to trust with all my secrets. Someone who doesn’t talk about me behind my back, or laugh at me.
The one thing I hate is sympathy. I hate when people feel bad for me, and act like they understand. Its really not fair. Everyone says that it gets better in highschool, but really, you are just with the same people, that are fake. The same people who want attention. Life is just not fair.