“Crack”
   

“Oh crap.” I groaned.
    

My so-called buddies were running away from me. Well, it was not my fault, it was the evil slingshot’s fault, and I was just using it. Peeking around, I was trying to escape my crime.
    

“Little girl, are you the one who broke my flowerpot?” A soft and gentle voice appeared above my head. I looked up and stared at him. Too nervous to say anything, my face flushed, and my tears were nearly spilling over. This was the first time I met him. As a four-year-old child, I was completely unaware of the events that were about to unfold.
     

I was too numb with fear to try running away. He ushered me into his house, and I followed sheepishly.
    

I remember how big his hands were as he led me inside. From down below, I couldn't make out his face, but I remember how small my hand looked inside his big, warm paw. His home was only a shabby bungalow with a yard that had many plants, where I had accidentally shot my marble ball. The house was old. The painted walls were torn off, exposing the red bricks. The top of the house was built with layers of ancient red tile. Nothing inhabited the place except the loud “tic toc” noise from a small red square clock, not even a speck of dust.I was asked to sit at a table, where he placed his food and bowls. I will never forget the smell of that house - a sense of loneliness and oldness. What precisely made it so? Be descriptive with smell here. What did it smell like? Use a comparison maybe.  I kept scanning the room for exits, shifting uncomfortably in my chair, and trying to avoid eye contact with him. I wanted to find an excuse for this whole mess.
    

So, I lied. “It was… It was He Jingtao who broke the flowerpot. I… I am so sorry. Please do not find He Jingtao’s teacher since… we are really good friends.”My face was burning. I did not dare to look at his eyes. I twisted my fingers. Trying hard to refrain from biting my nails, I hoped that he did not realize that I was lying. He finally said okay after a long period of silence. Breathing out slowly, I felt that my whole back was covered with cold sweat, and my heart was still beating hard. I looked at his eyes quickly and said good bye. Then, I fled.
    

Although our homes were not far from each other, I lived in a newly constructed apartment in the center of the town. His old and isolated house was on the way to my kindergarten. I always passed through a street full of small traders and grocery stores. The street was vivid in the morning combined with the sound of small merchants selling goods and kids’ laughter. Hot dumplings and Huntuns were coming out from the pot, the smell of the steamed bread spread across this tiny crowded street, the greetings of strangers warmed the air, and there I was, standing among a bunch of other naughty kids, fighting for those delicate stickers and begging my grandma to buy them. My hunger drew me back towards the food cart. Beyond the sweet potatoes, I saw it again: the house, standing there quietly as if glaring at this busy street. The awkward sense of loneliness filled my body again. Instead of running away, going to kindergarten, and trying to avoid him to see my grandmother, I had a strong urge to talk to him. He was watering small flowers by himself. Suddenly, he looked up at me. I was prepared to escape once again. And then, he smiled at me. He went back to water his flowers again as if nothing had happened at all, but I knew that something was changing. On the way that I went to the kindergarten, I held my grandma’s hand tightly and made an important decision.
    

When my grandma picked me up from the kindergarten in the afternoon, we were able to walk through that crowded street again.When I passed by the old man’s house, I saw the shabby house and the unclosed door, which seemed to be welcoming somebody. I knocked on the door, being ajar, ignoring my grandma’s groan and refusal. As I expected, the old man came to me. He was wearing a white T-shirt which looked extraordinarily big on his body. The white T-shirt hurt my eyes under the light. Although he looked skinny, he was really tall next to the tiny me. He stared at me and gave me a smirking smile. Then, he bent down. Phew, now we were at the same level. In return, I offered him a smile. A silly smile.
   

“What are you doing here?” He asked.
    

“Uh...”
      

We, then, became really good friends. It happened all of a sudden, just like a fairy tale. A little girl and a strange old man. Although they are not blood related, they regard each other as a part of an important family members. I would never be able to imagine what my life would become without him.
  

All of a sudden, his old, dirty, and isolated house became the perfect dreamland for me. I would rush toward his house after the end of my day at kindergarten. There seemed to be endless happiness between the 70-year-old man and this 5-year-old little girl.
    

Putting a bunch of animals on that “clean” table,  I became the teacher, and he was my favorite student. Graphing and writing self- made characters on the old book that he found from the drawer, I taught him many Hexi’s laws.
   

“Grandpa, do you know why the sky is blue?” This was the beginning of Hexi’s lesson.
   

“I don’t. Do you?” He would always reply me with an amiable smile.
   

“I know… I know... I am the only one who knows this secret!” I raised up my head proudly,    patted my breast , and acted like I was the real secrete guarder. “The sky is blue because...”
   

“Because of what?” He was always eager to know the answer.
   

“Because there was once a huge man called Pan Gu, who separated the ground and the sky at the beginning of the formation of the earth, and the color of the lake rendering the sky. Therefore, the sky is blue.”
   

“ Really?! Thank you for telling me this,” he then muttered and lowered his voice, “ Now, both of us will become the secret keeper!”
  

Sticking stickers on his head and using the cheap plastic medical equipment, I became the nurse and he was my patient. I made plastic surgery for him by putting “magical grass” on his face so that he could look younger and wrapped his legs with plastic tape to ease the pain. Mixing the juice of various kinds of leaves from his small yard, I successfully invented the super immortality drink.
   

Holding his hands tightly as would my grandmother’s. We played like babies in the crowded street and his small yard. We dug a big hole in the front of his house. We put some bread in that pit and watched the ants come and move them away. We secretly kept a bunny in his house. We had many marble ball contests, and we lied on the muddy ground without any concern.
    

“There comes the ant king and queen again!” he pointed at two black dots on the ground.
    

Looking carefully, there were a lot of ants following behind them. Instead of being the king and the queen, they were just simply the leaders of the group. My attention was soon attracted by those warriors that hid and fought among the grasses and muds. Occasionally, the bump of a grasshopper can lead to a massacre. We would always drop some biscuits to show our support.
    

However, all those little warm memories were soon overwhelmed by the horrible tear up of my family.
     

My mom rarely smiled or talked to me. She shouted at people loudly in the telephone, and hanged the phone as she was about to smash it. My grandmother packed and left the small apartment quickly because of the unbearable tension in the house even though I held her tightly and begged her not to before I fell asleep. I was then taken to the kindergarten by my mother in the morning. She would ride the broken yellow electric mobile to pick me up in the evening. I was not able to walk through that crowded street for several months. 
     

Things started to change when my mom finally decided to let go by burning dozens of my father’s love letters into ashes. She left Hangzhou and started to work at Ningbo for my grandfather. She left me with a babysitter who had a thick Cixi accent. She started to take care of me and acted like my mom.
    

I was able to cross that street and say hello to that old house again! That was the only thing that I felt delightful about at that time. Following the babysitter’s step, I went to that familiar lovable street and knocked at that unclosed door again. Not surprising, the old man was standing there and smiling at  me.
    

“They all went away… They … They left me...”
     

I barely cried in front of any people at those days, even my kindergarten teacher did not know what happened to my family. I would sneak into the closet, close the door,hug my knees and myself tightly in the darkness. I would sleep under my small bed. However, I cried like a real child in front of him, in his hug. Ignoring the existence of other people in the street, I sneezed and could not stop crying.
    

He became my second grandfather. He replaced my parents to write the “father-daughter letter”, which later hung on the classroom’s ceilings with colorful paper cranes. He signed for my homework. His house became little Bella’s shelter, where I would have warmth and delicious food and snacks. I knew clearly that that was my second home.
     

I graduated from kindergarten one year later. Graduation meant that I had to leave my buddies and my beloved grandfather, graduation meant that I would never walk through that crowded street again, graduation meant that I was going to a boarding school.
     

I gave a large packet to him on the last day I came back from the kindergarten. I made a lot of silly things into that huge packet. My mom tried to stop me by saying that some things in the package are quite expensive. I said “No” to her for the first time during those days. I wrote many ugly and creepy Chinese words on hundreds  small pieces of paper. I wrote all my hopes on it and put another bottle of the “immortality liquid” inside the package. I had drawn many pictures of him and I playing, hugging, talking, and standing together. I drew the smile on our face so big that make the whole painting seemed abstract. I wrote a lot of things to him so that he could read them when he was alone.
     

“Goodbye, see you next week,” he said with the same old smile hanging on his face.
     

“For sure!” I replied him with the same big smile since I thought that we could see each other again.
     

That was the last time I saw him. The last time I talked to him. The last time we hugged, laughed, and fed the bunny together.
         

I never went back to see him just like his only son. I went to the boarding school. Then left the small town and moved into the downtown with my mom and the babysitter one year later. I tried to hide the feeling of missing and loss deep inside my heart. I throw this memory into the edge of my brain. I was escaping from the painful feelings from my heart. I missed him so much. I mentioned with my mom once about our story, she said randomly that we should visit him. She followed all her promises, but not this one.
       

A part of me was missed or left in that small town, old house, and the smile of him. Sometimes I could not fall asleep in the midnight, I would think about that crowded street and depict every piece of grass and corner of that small house. I would never ever feel alone in that small town.
     

Five years later, the babysitter told me that the old guy came to the city and gave me a call on Wednesday. I was so excited that I forced the babysitter to tell me every word he said. Life was a huge drama. It offers you bitter sweets and gives you a huge slap. He left on Wednesday, and since I did not know his phone number, the communication was lost. I have been waiting him to come again. He never did. Did I disappoint him? Tears could not stop coming down whenever I thought about him. I could feel the torture inside of my heart. My heart was torn into many small glittering pieces, reflecting the memories we used to have. I barely mentioned him in front of my friends and my parents. I cherished these memories and put them deep inside my heart with an enormous lock. 
     

“Do you really want me to drink this weird green liquid?” He said with furrowed brow and a playful smile.
      

“Yeah! This liquid can make you become immortal and we can always live together. ”